Are you a softy or a toughie.?

Hmm, I remember my teenage, early adult hood years. I was super strong in my mind, and over all a toughie. Being a bit tom boyish, I took pride in carrying the heavy furniture around without a flinch, Yes, I did massage my sore arms in the privacy of my bubble bath. I would sit through an emotional movie and not be super sensitive about it. I would barely shed a tear, rather, I would use eat a Jalapeno and wipe away the tears calling it;- Spice Tears. But overall, I knew I was a toughie, or a may be a softy, being a toughie. Hey, single girl, foreign country, away from family. I had to be a toughie, right?
I am sure, my friends can swear by me actually enduring a bit more pain emotionally and physically, since I Do and DID believe- Tom boyish girls have more fun.
Then slowly but surely and much to my mother’s relief, I calmed down, the raging hormones, the need to defy the world, be the rebel all kinda fell into place. Mind you, I am still as opinionated as before, but just hmm a bit diplomatic/ polite about it now! (Eye Rolls welcome!)
Anyways, back to the point: After you became a mom, or settled with a significant other made you a softy?
Hmm, in my case yes! I couldn’t believe I actually screamed in a horror movie and snuck into my hubby's arm after my marriage. Whereas just a couple of years ago, I would laugh away or be the arms for my scared girl friends! After being a mom, I can’t believe how easily tears come to my eyes ( Yes still in the privacy of my room). Just recently, a colleague shared her story of her 5 year old breaking an arm in school by falling down. And just listening to her, had me misty eyed. I did comfort her, and told her things would be fine. But ran to the rest room and wiped the tears away.

Am sure, when my daughter reads this in a couple of years, she would laugh, since I am a toughie with her. I won’t easily budge by her 'I-want-this-tantrum' I actually brave it out. But, I know the minute she realizes, I am giving her extra hugs and kisses to make up for my 'toughness'.
It's finally the softy side of mine overtaking my toughness as a wife and a mother.

Has this happened to you? Or I always was a softy, just didn’t want to show it around and be vulnerable? And oh yes... what are you.. a girly girl.. or a toughie girl! Remember, under your motherhood, wifehood, working hood and ... there is still a girl!

Just some time....

... for myself.
I have said it, written about it, discussed, it cried about it, felt guilty about it. But I have vented out and made sure to do something about carving some time out for myself. It might be just cooking. For me cooking is therapeutic. It’s relaxing and stress free... if I don’t have to entertain inquisitive toddlers questions all the time! But bottom line, with my continuous rants, I make sure to do something just for myself.. even if its once a week. It might be a girls night, a walk by myself, a manicure session, a gossip call with a friend, writing till wee hours of morning, a shopping spree.. anything!
The other evening, i thought about my husband- my team! He does not discuss, write, complain, nag or anything else for his lack of "me-time" Nothing. Nada. With both of us working, and him taking a daily two to three hour commute just so we can live next door to my work and daughter's day care reduces a relaxed evening for him to zero! The occasional downtime he does get is spent with our daughter, or catching up paper work outside work and other errands I ask him to do.
Hmm, now please don’t judge me as being a selfish prick who does not value the necessity for me-time for hubby. I value it completely and hence the realization -I am not supporting him as much as he is supporting me to carve out me-time for ourselves.
But, it leads to a bigger question, why does he not complain about the lack of "me time".
Are men wired so differently?
So I asked him?.. and all he said is, for "me-time" anything sports related is perfect. I don’t need to be doing something to feel relaxed. A mindless TV show, a movie or just sitting on the couch without getting bothered is good enough. When you are out for your me-time and kid is sleeping, it’s my me-time as well. No big deal.
Yes, I hugged him tight right there and then.
For me it’s not as simple, I need to be doing something for "me-time".
I am jealous. I am envious of the simplicity of his wiring. His me-time is a simple down time where he gets his mind and body relaxed. Nice.
I will try it sometime soon.

Dont' just wish it..feel it!

Buzz Buzz Buzz.. There has been so much talk about Women's Day, about Women's rights and Women's liberation and achievements and so on.
It’s in print, in paper, in news, in media everywhere. But the minute the day is gone. It’s done with right? Women's Day is turning out to be like a Hallmark Day now on. You probably know, I am sucker for all " Hallmark Days " I see no harm! I think it’s fun and cute.
But what turned me off was, the sheer "marketing" of this unique day. International Women's Day (8 March) is a global day celebrating the economic, political and social achievements of women past, present and future.
It’s not about wishing women you see around: “Oh, by the way, Happy Women’s Day” I retorted “What’s that”. Response: “Oh, just a day where the Women feel good about being themselves and all the feministic beliefs you gals keep talking about”. Needless to say, the person got a mindful and has been avoiding me in hallways now!
On a lighter note, I was be surprised at how many emails, FB messages and personal notes I saw around on Women's Day. Some were fabulous, some were witty and some were just simply put. All drove the same point: "Happy Women's Day". Urgh!
Did I do anything different? Did you do anything different for yourself or for the women around you? Probably not. Right?
Sadly, none of the media reports I read and saw highlighted what this day meant! Am I being rude, possibly?
Now, being a woman myself, I strongly believe in our equality and our individuality. My friend Priyanka words it best ! I have to completely agree with her that the minute we talk about Women's Empowerment, we are calling them the weaker sex.
Having said all that, if there is Women's day to commemorate us... is there a Man's day? Apparently there, is November 19th: international's man's day. Hmm. It’s already marked on my calendar. I will surely look for my hallway chap, and wish him “Happy Men’s Day. Oh, it’s a day where you continue to be a #@#$!@#%!%#$” Ok, excuse my tone! A “Good Woman” will be polite and forgive and forget! ;-)

For me, I consider men and women to be equal. In all forays in all spaces and in all fields. There is no " Man thing, Woman thing ". That’s how I was brought up, that’s how my family is and that’s just the way it is. Why- Because it’s natural!