Sometime you don't need to say 'I love you'

It was one of those days.... those tired long days where you are just exhausted and you still have a lot on your plate left...

It was one of those days and I am driving home around 6:30 pm with the two girls in the car listening in while I whine to my husband, "I am so tired tonight honey'. He acknowledges and says, 'I hear you, see you soon!'

I pull into the garage and climb up to the house and am left astounded.

The husband has done the following: moved his meetings around for an hour to complete dinner preparations and emptied the dishwasher and I am greeted with a quick peck on the cheek and he runs to get back on his work calls.

I was left speechless and misty eyed!

The Panini that night could not have tasted better!

This one evening was way more that any amount of "I Love you” s we have said to one another.

It's the empathy of " I understand”, it’s the acknowledgment of “It’s tough and I got your back” and it’s the true sense of feeling “We are in this together”

Miss V was quick to observe and say 'Thank you papa for dinner tonight'.

We all talk about gender equality, empowering our next generation of children but actions speak louder than words. I am hoping my girls realize that being in this world today: It’s the partnership and it’s the support of one another which makes a successful person, a successful spouse and a successful family.

Girl or Boy at this point really does not really matter.

Thank you Sumit for always being there for me and the girls and actually following the ideology you believe in so strongly!

Alone times or Lonely times..

There are some couples I know, who love to do everything together, work, activities,
Shopping etc. I have never seen one without the other person. The lady shakes her head off every time we recommend a girls only night. She said, what’s the need for that, let rather go out with the guys.. Hmm! The husband seems to enjoy it as well. Seems always anxious to be around the spouse and so on. When I first met them, I found it cute. I still do!
I don’t know if I can do that. SD and I both love to do new things together, do something the other one enjoys, and cherish others company (I mean we got married for a such reasons!). We both have learned to enjoy the others interests; for example, this year i am looking forward to the football season.. to cheer along with him and enjoy the game nights. He actually watches some of my favorite series. I have tried my hand at golf.. and he is going to very soon try the jump! (Rolling eyes!) You get the idea, as couples we do stuff together even if it was not our primary interest. But at the same time, i cant imagine doing everything together.

At a recent do, SD asked a friend of ours to join him for Sunday morning golf and added he had already hit the range on Saturday morning. The girls oohed and aahed and looked at me:” Are you okay with this?" I was thoroughly confused: "Him going out for golf.. hell yes". Someone chimed "But two days in a row!" And I said- Hmm.. why not. Conversations changed quickly. (Thankfully!)
But it got me thinking, does it make me weird by not wanting to spend every weekend minute with him. By not objecting to his weekend golf rounds. (In my mind, I am already relaxing in the play area with V and singing our songs). Of course there are times when I have asked him to not go out for cricket or golf.. just cuz i wanted him around the house, or just because! But more often than not, I love it when he is out for the sports which he enjoys. Why not.
He does the same, encourages me for my girl night outs, my cooking expeditions (Yes once in a while.. all i want to do is cook some hearty meal on a Saturday morning!), shopping trips (which i am sure, he thanks my GF's profusely for!) or may be just me wanting to be snooze...while he takes V to the park. Bottom line, both of us enjoy our time with other activities.. and not necessarily together!
It doesn’t mean, we don’t miss the other person! So far, luckily for us, we are completely okay doing something without the other person. It can be as simple as curling up on the couch to read a book, while the other is out. SD calls it "lone time". Rightly so.

In my naïve years, someone once told me, if one looks for alone time in a relationship, it’s headed for loneliness in the long run. As a couple, one must be ready and willing to spend all the time together.
Now, I am not so sure about that... It might be love evolving . To each there own, I think it perfectly fine to be doing everything together, something’s together whatever adds the spark in the relationship, whatever makes you wink after you are all dressed up to go out, whatever makes you smile when you see the other walk though the door!

Enjoy your time at golf, spas, dinners, drinks, bowling... Whatever together and separately…but make sure to share stories... Its always fun for me to know if SD's team kicked ass in cricket ;-)

Anyway what’s your baby program?

What!!! Yes, I actually came across this on Facebook. Yes.. in full public view.. and for all to read.. and smile/ smirk. Now, as a disclaimer in all honesty, i don’t know the person and how close was the interrogator to that person, and it may be okay for her to be asked that question.. but OMG>. did it stir up some emotions in me! This is one unchartered territory, even for the talkative, inquisitive me!!

Being away from India for a couple of years has influenced my thinking when it comes to people's privacy. A friend of mine reminded me, some people will very blatantly very personal questions as - So what is your salary? Aren’t you trying for a baby since 6 months?, So, HOW iss your wife? I mean seriously!!!!
I am trying to live by the quotation: "Do unto others as others do to you!" simple. I conform to it by asking those questions, that I don’t mind answering myself. Give people’s privacy some respect man! Even with close friends, we might tease each other about kids et al and say.. the "chotu xxx" but its all in jest, I am definitely not going to blatantly ask that "anyway what’s your baby program?"

For me, one, its very rude and two, mind your own business. Yes, of course like any Indian couple, my extended family would always ask us, so when do we get the good news!! When do you become two to three and so on.. I still remember some sheepish person at the wedding... winking the eyes and telling me a few days after the wedding- Shaadi ka proof in a year naah!! What..OMG!!! I was bottom lined embarrassed, and yes was about to punch that person's face.. but the choodi ridden and mehendi colored hands of mine shied away from that. But i did get my revenge, the day the cousin got married; I did ask them the same question ;-) (In a more subtle way of course!) Evil me! I know!

I don’t even ask my SIL's, cousins or friends that! In some cases, Yes, I would drop enough hints.. (Naughty wink!) and sometimes even say it out loud, but when its only us! Them and us and not the "250+" friends on FB looking at that question! Urgh..

It's a very personal question, SD and I are very happy parents of a toddler now, and still there are times, when I am asked- so when does V get a sibling? She is the only one, you should have another one!!! .. It never ends does it? I mean come on.. Stop... "Anyway’s its our baby program, so please.. let us figure it out!"