I failed and still won (I Think)

A long time ago I had decided I WILL NEVER DIET again. I have nightmares from my college days and been through that "body hating or shaming phase". I am definitely NOT proud of that. My grown up and more mature mantra for over the last decade has been: NO Diet. NO focus on weight loss but the focus should be on eating healthier, getting fit and overall upping the energy levels. It's made me happier!

As a mother of two young, highly impressionable kids this seems to be working well.  My husband and I "try not to" talk about weight but feeling healthy. We "try not to" talk about being fat/short/stubby etc. But more around feeling confident about yourself and taking care of yourself.

And mind you- WE ARE NOT THE FITTEST/ HEALTHIEST or even close in the vicinity of "Fit Person". But still, I very strongly believe in Being confident of your body the way it is, being aware of your food choices and above all enjoying food since it's a very important part of your gatherings, your family time. For me, it is the way to a happier self.

Having said all that, I have gone way off the path of getting fit or even being fit! All good, but just crazy busy with work, family visiting, kids and wonderful "work life balance" which was thrown out the window. Yes I know, the lamest excuse of them all: Life is busy and being fit was prioritized lower, way lower. But oh well, that's what happened.

Recently, over one of our fun filled dinner's, a girlfriend mentioned her diet plan which has worked for her the effects showed beautifully on her: In Short, No Carb, no Sugar, and just vegetables and fruits with protein's. I was so far away from 'my fit self' I said, I will try this diet breaking my decade old promise to myself.

After recovering from the flu, I went right in and Failed Miserably on Day 3!

It was too hard for me to be on that diet, my carb craving kicked in and my crankiness was insane. I kept thinking of food! And above all I just felt guilty on not practicing what I preach "Focus on healthy eating and not Weight Loss"

So after failing miserably at this, here is where I am: I am glad over that fun dinner, my friend told me about this no Sugar, No Carb  diet. Since two things happened.

One, I realized how far I had digressed from healthy eating and fitness overall.

Two, I am chatting with my friends , exchanging fun recipes and above all BITCHING ABOUT IT. Since Getting Fit' is hard!

My previous journey of "Getting Fit" had been the most successful ever, I was eating everything (Thanks to MyFitnessPal in keeping me honest), I was working out (Thanks to wonderful workout buddy) and most importantly I was giving the kids a run for their money in the family soccer days (Thanks to the kids vs adult games and our competitive selves)

Here is where I am:  My friends and hubby are continuing the original diet plan "no sugar, no carb, no white food etc etc". They continue to support me in my 'modified' version and I continue to support the three of them for their journey!

Isnt that what Getting Fit is all about: Getting the support, encouragement and making a move in the right direction.

Is it a lone gunman, a mad driver or something else ?

Not the thoughts you want to have after a wonderful July 4th celebration with the kids and parents at Chicago's Navy Pier!

With family visiting from India, we decided to go to the Navy Pier to enjoy the fireworks. The 4 adults and 3 kids were plopped right by the water and a lovely picnic. At 9:30 the fireworks began and it was mesmerizing. We generally see this from afar, but watching the reflection on the water, with the songs and fireworks in synchronized fashion has its charm!

We clapped, enjoyed and after fireworks ended, decided to wait for the crowds to disperse. With the young kids and MIL, it would be easier. So we plopped on a bench and were just chatting about the display. My SIL and her daughter decided to go in the pier for a quick rest room pit stop.

Suddenly!
Yes suddenly we saw thousands of people running towards us screaming. We froze in our spots not knowing what was going on. We ducked behind the very bench we were sitting on. May be 30-60 seconds later, everyone just stopped. We stood up and said to our bystander, wonder what that was about! And then we see swarms of cops yelling at the crowds to "Get Down NOW, Take cover. "
And I slam dunked my 11 year old and 6 year old again on the floor. It just got more real. My MIL cannot sit on the ground, I see my husband just giving her cover with the back to the cops.

My girls are starting to scream and I really want them to be quiet, just in case "they" hear them.
One is below my arm and the other is holding my hand. Both are shaking and may be it was me also. I look at them and ask them to look at me. And just tell them "Sing Navakar" our daily chant.
I needed them to focus on as we hear screams around us. And that's what they did. Looking straight into my eyes with tears streaming down their cheeks. They just chanted and are curled up like little babies. I see Sumit and his mom as bend down as physically possible 5 ft. ahead. We lay there. And then 10-15 minutes pass by I think.
We see a cop come to us and tell us "IT IS SAFE, YOU CAN GET UP NOW"
The girls and I are frozen, he repeats and we stood up still unsure. There is a chaotic scene around us, but we stay focused on looking at him and Sumit and MIL with him.
He says "YOU NEED TO LEAVE NOW".
I say "NO WAY, I WILL STAY RIGHT HERE UNTIL THE REST OF MY FAMILY IS HERE" he looks at me stunned and stayed with us until my SIL and her daughter meet us.

Honestly, we had no idea what happened.
My first thought: "Not my kids"
My second thought: "Is a crazy car guy mowing down people"
My third thought: "Is a lone gunman being really really stupid"
My fourth thought: "Not my kids"

We looked around us, 10 feet from us, we see poodles of blood. Cops and paramedics with someone. I look at my daughters watching that and tears re-emerge.

My 6 year old cried and was like "Bad guys are here"
My 11 year old cried and was like "I am never leaving home again"
My 5 year old niece was just quiet and confused and looking around her.
And us, the four adults: Well were numb and the "what if's" started flooding the mind.
I held them close and talked to them all the way on the walk back to the car, we saw littered shoes, bags, glasses, tears and there was this silence in the crowd.

The kids slept with us that night, it took lots of talking, ice cream and honest and tough discussions to get them a "little normal" again.
Of course, I had to FORCE them to step out the next day for a bike ride and then slowly get normalcy back.
My girls and us are doing better now. We are still talking about it. It will always be their "normal" going forward and I DONT WISH it on anyone. I feel we got "lucky" but honestly not what i want to teach our kids. "It happens, just get lucky!" WHAT WORLD DO WE LIVE IN NOW

The girls wrote beautiful Thank You letters for the Chicago Police. Next post.. more to come 

The Devil's Hairband

It's Haloween!

Its the day of the year we take kids door to door for them to score lots of candy where the rest of the days, we are yelling at them to not touch candy.

It's the day of the year, where the kids creativity shines and they think about their costume long and hard, the stores have these costumes on display with the tackiest fabric and the overpriced price tag.

It's the day when the kids are excited about scaring other people and completely forget about the monsters below their bed which keeps them awake the rest of the year

It's the day when my little angels finish the breakfast the quickest, get ready the quickest and very patiently sit to get their faces painted to match their costume.

It's the day when even I thoughtfully laid out 'my costume' the night before!!!

Yes, this is my costume of choice (!)

I walked to the cafeteria for my morning coffee run, I  smiled and wished Happy Halloween to the colleagues who applauded my spirit of dressing "up".

Some stared longer than normal and I wondered,  I am wearing the 'Devil Headband' Am I inadvertently pissing someone off for what it symbolizes.  Am I in some HR violation?

Later, I was chatting with someone who wanted to see my kids dressed up pictures and I told them She is an Arabic Princess and we thought her how to say 'Hello' in Arabic! There was silence, the 'someone' cautioned me, "Be careful, people might not like it! " (The Arabic Princess)

At first I didn't get it, and then it struck me.

Have we become that narrow minded that even on Halloween, we have to be 'politically correct' Are people really that "in-tolerant"?

My response: I am still donning my 'Devil's hairband' in office (No violation, I checked) and going to nudge my Arabic Princess to say 'Marhaba' a little louder at "Trick or Treating" this evening.

Let's enjoy the candy, the smiles of the cute faces and definitely 'Marhaba'. It's Halloween

Yep....I have slipped!

Nope, I have not forgotten about it...but yes, its ONLY at the back of my mind! I have slipped on the 'Getting Fit Business'.

I have become lazy and lazier these past weeks. May be its the Chicago Summer, the continuous BBQ's, the lazy mornings and even lazier evenings, my stupid knee, I really don't know, but I have become lazy about the 'getting fit'

My model is suppose to be simple.... Log your food, go to the gym/ keep a routine and then enjoy the process with buddies who help and encourage. Its not about loosing weight, its about being fit, energetic and happy!

But, I have not been logging on MyFitness Pal at all now. I broke my 74 day streak a few weeks ago,  and now haven't picked up the baton again!
For the gym, in summary, I injured my knee (I think at a stupid but super fun bowling game) and since then doctors orders are no squats, no pivot motions, no pounding of the knee... aka, no gym routine that I had down and was consistent!

Due to my knee injury, I am in the self pity mode and hence not even moving a muscle for any basic workout routine. I think I am being kinder to my knee. I sound like my grand mum, "kinder to my knee", but trust me being in constant dull pain in knee is no fun. And the pain goes from dull to shooting stabs in a matter of seconds. Read: Self Pity :-)

And it shows.... I am dragging my feet by end of day, I cant keep up with the kids soccer games and above all, I am feeling crankier!

Every Monday, I think.... next week I will start.

Please tell me I am not alone...... please leave some motivational messages :-/

Aaah! So, here I am picking up again. But this time..... not the baby steps that I love, I am actually leaping and jumping, since hey, now I know what to do.

So
Step 1: Join the gym THIS WEEK and actually go
Note to self.... if you pay up the monthly fees, its the best motivation
Step 2: Re-start logging on the weight THIS WEEK and actually not exceed the calories
Note to self....it takes only 10 minutes a day to enter in the food consumed
Step 3: Kick my buddies really well, I cant believe they are not helping me in stopping the slide!
Note to them.... be prepared for the kicking!

See it's their fault! ;-)

Vanity is beautiful

A story, a realization and the simplicity of it

A friend of my older daughter Miss V, lets calls her Ms. Inspiring.

The kids were hanging out together, laughing, giggling and just having a great time especially since they met after such a long time. They are now in different schools but hang out when schedules permit. I notice Ms. Inspiring's hair cut... I mean she went from a hip length to a short bob and she totally rocked it. But I asked her, how come?

Ms. Inspiring tells me, ' I donated my hair for kids who need it' and I was astounded. Before I could respond she continued: 'It's hair, they will grow back' and she went off to play with Miss V and the other kids.

And I was standing in the doorway.... astounded and definitely inspired.

That was 1.5 years ago.

I started growing my hair, honestly mainly out of vanity. I haven't had long hair since a very long time (11 years ago I had grown them out to style them well for my wedding!)
So I started growing them and thoroughly enjoyed the buns, the  braids, the wind through them and having the girls style them and play with my hair. I had completely forgotten about that conversation with the 8 year old friend of V.

Recently someone in the extended family was diagnosed with a 'Big C' and that's when it all came crashing in...... the conversation with the 8 year old, the face of my relative and the shallowness of my vanity.

Long story short (no pun intended):

The before and The after

Thank you Miss. Inspiring for making it so simple 'It's hair, they will grow back'

The hair donation went to Wigs for Kids whose motto is 'Helping children look like themselves and live their lives!

You thought I forgot???

Nope, I have not forgotten about the whole business of buddying up, logging food and being a little more active than I was before. The long, painful but satisfying journey for 'Getting Fit' 

So I am still 'at it' albeit slower with hiccups and not 'glamorous results' but hey the slow and steady wins the race.

And the winner gets a pat on the back :-)

Working Out

Last few weeks, with a travelling spouse, the 'workout' took a back seat. Yes, I could have done the exercises at home, but I decided sleeping in will be better (It was!!!)

But now that life is back to normal with equal number of adults to kids, I am back at the gym. The first day back in the class after 3.5 weeks was crazy bad and though I was not really sore, I definitely was 'tired' sooner. But the rhythm is settling back in which is a good thing. However, my old old knee injury is acting up and until the doctor gives me a clean bill of health, I plan to just enjoy the "Ride" class, which is 45 minutes of riding a bike mixed in with limited strength and cardio. Love it!

My Fitness Pal

Yippie, 50 days streak aka logging in almost every morsel of food in the app to see how much I am eating. I have been logging but have been over the calorie intake almost every single day. I have been unbalanced, ideally it should be in the ratio of 50:30:20 for Carb: Protein: Fat. I have been 'Way Off' and I blame all the delicious goodness of Indian sweets and snacks around the house.

BUT I am logging religiously, sometimes at a high level sometimes faking the data based on memory for the day.  I know I know, hopefully will get back in the groove soon enough.

Buddying up

With summer setting in and our eagerness to be out and about, my buddies and I are 'at it'. Even a simple message of 'Good Job' or 'Let’s go to the gym tomorrow' or 'Why haven’t you logged in' are good encouragements.

Of course, my new buddy aka my husband is waking up at the ungodly hour of 5:30 and coming with me to the gym. And having this new buddy is all the more 'fun'

So there you have it, the details...

Summary: 

There has been no weight loss, but NO GAIN as well. There have been NO clothes being suddenly too big for me (I wish!), but the best result for me: I am able to sustain extended soccer games with my kids in the park and really make a run after the Frisbee in the evenings, so I am truly loving that!

For me getting fit is less about 'the vanity' of it but more about the 'energy levels' of it. And though the compliments help, the true fun is listening to my daughters chat in the morning: 'Mummy just came back from her yoga and she is stinking eeeew'

I chase them every now and then to slather them with a 'sweaty hug'.

Perfect way to start the morning.

Travel & Stay Fit: Yes you can!

There are two things that I am passionate about, travelling and food!

If you have been following my blog, know me or even just met me, i could go on and out about these two things. In addition, over the last year, I have been following through with 'My Fitness Pal' Trust me, this is the longest I have stuck to the Getting Fit business and actually seen some positive results

Like my husband says, before we finish a trip, Garima is already thinking of the next one! Sadly work comes in way of 'my travelling adventures'. I am happy to say, the kids have travelling bug and definitely are showing signs of budding foodies.

One of the things that happens with this is: 'Getting Fit' always goes out the window when on a trip.

I want to eat all the local delicacies and my 'calorie meter' tells me I am way over my recommended amount. Of course after a trip, when I stand on the 'Scale of disaster' the truth is revealed. Yes, ignore the jeans fitting tightly, the t shirts being a little snug etc... I ignore it on a trip, until I get home and stand on my 'Scale of Disaster'

Story of my life!

But with this 'Getting Fit' business, I am trying to figure out and learn ways of Staying Fit, Enjoying local cuisines and continue Travelling and exploring.

Here is my simple and doable three point guide , I am hoping to add more 'points' as I travel more and eat more

1. Portion Control:
Eat everything you want, but do manage to have a little portion control. These 'buffets' are very appetizing, I get it, trust me.
May be take more variety and less portions. This way you can thoroughly enjoy the buffet and still not be 'way over the recommended calories'. Start with a salad, always!

2. Water &  Snacks:
Hydrate, any trip you take, be it beautiful Quebec, The friendly Vegas or the serene mountains of Leh, hydrate up. This way, you are snacking lesser during the excursions.
And if you are snack-er like me, carry healthy nuts, cereal bars, apple, banana or a simple sandwich loaded with vegetables.

3. Don't fall in the trap of 'Cheat Day':
Trust me, its hard. Read point 1, manage the portions so you can eat everything you really want. And at the same time skip the extra slice of chocolate cake since its your 'Cheat Day'. Its a slippery slope. I know since 'My Fitness Pal' graph is all over the place since I use this 'Its my Cheat Day' excuse a bit often.

Got You, didn't I: You were expecting me to blabber about use the gym, use the hotel facilities... haha!
In that case, you don't know me. On my vacations, I am lazier than my normal self.
You never know, sometimes just relaxing does wonders to your system! The stress eating goes away and you are eating when you are hungry and not when you are worried

 Enjoy these shows if you are in Vegas, take these beautiful excursions if you are in Vegas, the Sin City, book a hotel and enjoy the spa, the gym can wait, but truly relax!

Check out this amazing Website for Vegas, and I cant wait to book my next trip and explore all their amazing deals, and the only exercise I plan to do, is really thoroughly enjoy the city and follow  simple and doable three point guide: P-S-E (Portion- Snacking-Enjoy)!


But I do believe in really trying to stay fit and not gain the 'travel pounds'. If I come back at the same weight that i left before the trip, I am happy.

Foodie turning into Select Foodie

With the whole: 'My Fitness Pal' eating habits are now changing a bit(Finally!). I must commend myself for achieving my last week'sgoal: 'To meet the prescribed calorie intake at least twice a week'

I am happy to report, that I met it 5 days and was even under for one day (only 45 calories under: But hey, every bit of it counts, or I hope it counts)

I continue to have my one cheat day, its generally on the weekend!! I tell myself, it makes me sustain the ' My Fitness Pal'

My friend who nudged me on for this app still nudges me on says: 'It's about making better choices'.

Since I 'document' every morsel of food in my tummy, I better be smart about it. Case in point: At a Birthday party, I skipped on the chips and salsa and chose another vegetable sandwich. No Empty Calories is what I told myself!

The Mini Milano Dark Chocolate cookies are helping me keep me chocolate craving in check. Yay! I am trying to practice moderation. I say 'trying' since it’s really hard to stop at one Mini Milano.  The menu and the content of the dinner plate are changing ever so slightly! Hence the term 'Select Foodie'. It should be Foodie in moderation but then it sound boring!

This slight change has made a slight change in weight going in the right direction! Slight but hey, every victory counts!

I have a new person joining in my attempt to use this app and improve eating habits. Sumit, he joined the bandwagon and it's been fun to have someone to complain with and to. Someone who gets it.

Honestly, however: having him join in, is good and bad. He has a tendency of really truly following through (Yeah Yeah, I know that is so awesome).

So the Bad: 

1. On Day 3, he stopped by picked up Tofu & edamame and made his own dinner so that the protein content is high! Me on the other hand was eating Kale Paratha with vegetables due to my 'carb overload' issues.

2. He has lost the same number of pounds as me now (I took three weeks to get here and him only 1 week) URGH!!!

3. He manages to go for a run/ a tennis game here and there and me, well I am still lazy about that! URGH!!

And the Good:

1. It’s amazing to have him make Tofu for me before dinner so I can 'snack right'

2. He will happily take my bowl of 'snack' away and pass me edamame!

3. Our dinner conversations are now more like: 'I better eat more tofu and get my protein up instead of pass me another bowl of namkeen'

4. Plus I think it’s really cool to discuss 'Protein-ifying everything' with someone else other than google.

So yeah, the good outweighs the bad!

When I started this, I wanted to follow this through until my vacation in October. With the vacation almost here, I am so happy thinking I did it. I am hoping I can continue at least 'logging the food' for the duration of the trip!

Next Step: Follow through till my big vacation in December.

Remember: It is one step at a time!!

Same thing, Different Rules: Mommy Confession

She is 6, and I am well a little over my late twenties(Wink Wink!). But, I am realizing I have different rules for her and for me for the same thing. 

And since she does not know what a blog is, or this space, I will confess. Because I can.

1. Ice Cream: We were on Foster Beach this weekend with some amazing friends walking, laughing, giggling and enjoying the breeze. An ice cream truck comes by. 4 ice creams/ popsicles bought with no second thought. The same truck that my older one pleads to for us to get her an ice cream and we tell her no- Not good water/ milk. Then we take her to the gelato place near our house and get her the ice-cream.

It's not about the ice cream but where she is getting it from. But somehow I feel she would have enjoyed the one from the truck way more. Instant gratification. Same thing, different rules.

2. Bread Crust: I love bread in all forms, shapes and sizes. No discrimination here. My morning breakfast comprises of toast mostly all days. But I-Dont-Like-The-Crust. V, my 6 year old has seen me remove the crust every single day. She asks for the same thing, 'Please remove the crust'. And more often than not, I comply. I understand. But then there are times, when I am like, just eat the crust, its so soft, its so crunchy, its so.. More out of my laziness than anything else. You get the idea Same thing, different rules.

3. Laundry: Like most, when I come home, I need to change out of work war-wear to simple PJ's. And its been a long day, I 'sometimes' leave the clothes on the floor/ bed/ bathroom. And mostly by end of day, its in the basket. Mostly is the word I am stressing on. When my 6 year old comes home from school and changes into her favorite shorts and T-shirts, her school gear is on the floor. Every Day. I nag, I plead, I threaten and then with heavy feet she will 'sometimes' throw them in the laundry basket 2 steps away. But still, I ignore her 'long' day and well make her put the clothes in the laundry basket.

 And the one that is a conversation EVERY single day when she asks : "why do I need to sleep so early?'

4. Sleep time: Hers is 7:30 pm and mine should be 10:00 pm. Ideally. Realistically she is in bed at 7:30 and then sleeps by 8ish. For me, I am in bed by 11ish and sleep by 'have no clue' She says: I am trying, closing my eyes and trying really hard. And she does. Me however, Lie down, see something on i-whatever, read something, see something, read something, yawn, water, snooze and then after tossing and turning sleep. She makes and effort and I don’t 'really' make the effort.

And it's natural. I get that; I can justify both our behaviors.  I can lecture on 'good habits start early', 'practice restraint' but then it contradicts with 'be happy', 'go with the flow'.

You need to let them be kids. But maybe not too much 'kid'

 Urgh, bottom line. Same thing, different rules. We both, the 6 year old and me, a little over my late twenties should follow along the same rules. But we don’t.

Why? Since you see, I am a little over my late twenties and well, she is 6.

Self-Exile of a different kind

With our Costa Rica trip in early April, like all holidays/ vacations, I happily signed myself out of Facebook, unchecked notifications on my emails and basically 'unplugged'

 If you have not noticed yet, I am still in Pura Vida mode, so relaxed and comfortable.

So on my return from Costa Rica, I decided to stay logged out of Facebook. Meaning, no access from phone/ laptop/ I-devices. You get the idea. No facebook for a month.

(I cheated twice: Once to check message's for a friends postal address and once to message a friend my postal address).

Besides that, I have no idea what's happening on Facebook.

On the contrary, I have a very good idea on what's happening with my friends.

Life is still going on, with a little bit more time on my hands. I have read a bit more- one and a half books, three magazines. As you can see, I have blogged more.

And long behold: I have actually called friends and chatted about what's going on in their lives as against understanding from their facebook status.

I am lazy on phones, by the time the day is over (Read: Kids in bed, errands finished), I am done! Any energy left is well spent on catching up on Game of Throne's episodes.

So me calling, has been really good-for me at least.

Of course, I stumped my friend recently, she was like, didn’t you know about abc, I posted on FB. I was like, I actually didn’t. And then we laughed and I got 'updates' in real life.

So this 30 day-self exile actually worked.

I am thinking, may be I do want to continue this self-exile. Trust me, its tempting to log in and post this blog there. But going on FB to blog about not being on FB, hmm, not so much.

My realization: It is not all about 'being in'. As of now, I am not feeling left out. I am sure there are countless pictures/ posts/ status that I would have 'liked/ commented' But you know what, I like this quietness.

So may be, until the urge of an addict comes back, self-exile to continue.

Mother of two girls... and?

----------------------------------------- In the beginning---------------------------------------------------

Garima: A mother

People: Wow, congratulations, must be busy and hard.

In my mind: No, its easy, well I don’t know any better, this is what it's supposed to be I guess!

Garima: A mother of one girl

People: Girls are so precious. Am sure she will give you sleepless nights when she gets to her teens

 In my mind: Uh, why? My brother and I both must have given a lot of sleepless nights in our teens. But yes I agree, Kids are precious and my Little V more so for me

----------------------------------------- A few years later---------------------------------------------------

Garima: A mother of two girls

People: Wait what? Wow.

Generally look at Sumit and say: Time to get the second job and bulk up. You need the muscles to ward off boys.

Generally look at Garima and say: Time for the boy, may be third time's the charm!!

In my mind: What!!

My two girls are perfect. When we planned for our second, it was since it felt right for our family(and of course increase chaos), we didn’t even find out what gender the baby will be- goes to show, we didn’t care: Boy or Girl! So yeah.

Please, my kids are perfect to me and family is complete. If we do have a third kid and if that kids a boy, great and if that kids a girl: even better, I have a load of hand me downs already.

Kids are expensive, yes we know that. Trust me! But that does not mean my darling husband needs a second job, trust me we thought it through before we went down this path of parenthood. And bulk up?? Seriously?

I don’t think my dad was peeling boys away from me when I was in my teens. Bulk or no bulk, I was just fine and so was my dad. And I think my girls and Sumit will be fine as well.

Now gist: Phew!

It's a natural thing to ask: Two kids, boys or girls?

And then I would assume it's a natural thing to say: Good for you, can I see pictures? Let me know when I can meet them?

And if you ask, drop them off and head out to the movies..... We LOVE it!

And then move on to the next topic.

Why does us having two girls give us collective gasps or even hearing double trouble! Seriously?

 We live in 21st century right? Let me check the date again! Yes we do. So please Butt Out

The Break-Up

Stage 1: Shock

Stage 2: Hurt

Stage 3: Betrayal

Stage 4: Anger

Stage 5: Moving On

Stage 6: Happiness

Stage 7: Closure

When you are in college, you go through these stages with crushes, likes and the opposite sex in general. Sometimes you skip stages, sometimes you stay and mull in one for longer. But as age progresses, you think you get calmer, more refined to navigate the above stages. You know what is happening.

But sadly, no matter what the break up is- all stages apply!

I had a recent break up. Before the rumor mills start- It was with my nanny.

Stage 1: SHOCK: 'What you are leaving me?' I didnt see any signs, why? What am I going to do, No way? There is no notice.

Seriously?

Stage 2: HURT I have been blind. Of all people, you?  We have been together for so long, why so sudden? Ouch, what will I do?

Seriously?

Stage 3: BETRAYAL:  I never expected this. After all I did for you and your family. I touched you when NO ONE was. I trusted you, helped settle you, your family. Loaned you money, time and drove you around.  and you did this! No notice.

Seriously?

Stage 4: ANGER:  You dumped me, no I DUMP YOU. You are not worth it. Your 'type' will stay your type. ALWAYS. No matter how considerate I have been, you did this.

Seriously?

Stage 5: Moving On:  Hmm, What is, will be. It's fine. I still have me and my family. I put up with your SHIT for way too long. I should have let you go a long time ago. I am better off now. I am sure

Seriously!!!

Stage 6: HAPPINESS : Wow, its like a weight lifted off me. This feels awesome. Everything is perfect, I survived, got smarter and above all happier. There is more laughter and more fun and more cleanliness for sure. Why didnt I think of this before

Seriously!!!

Stage 7: CLOSURE: Oh man, I am awesome. My family is awesome. This is like a well-oiled machine and you had just slowed us down. I love the freedom and the laughter and the cleanliness. Good Bye. Thanks for nothing. Good Bye

Oh My god, I love this!

Seriously!!!

So yes, my nanny on the eve of my birthday 'dumped' me VERY unprofessionally. She didnt honor the one month notice period we had agreed on. She was not even going to tell me she is quitting. I guess being a girl, my 6th sense is super active and I asked her thrice and then she was forced to confess.

So it always has to be the perfect storm: Nanny dumps you. Husband is travelling, you are swamped with work, one of the kids is not well.

And then I realized you know what. Its all fine. Not fine-fine. But fine. And will only get better.

With my recent break-up I went through all the standard stages in 1 and a half days. Flat. And I have been happy since. Kids are laughing more, walking more, being more independent. At the same time, Sumit and I are more relaxed and laugh about those things that nanny didnt do. We did honestly put up with her for longer than we should have. No one likes change, and we didn’t either. Without this nanny, Its actually nice. And this time the real NICE NICE!

But yes, I am back in the market for a new one- I new more professional, more stable and definitely more active nanny. Suggestions??

Quick Food Fix : A salad transformed

I am really bad at following through on the 'Getting Fit' business. When Fit Bit was new, I was completely hooked on and then health became a bit unmanageable, the first thing out- Being healthy. Sad as usual, but true.

But once again, trying to make better choices, a day at a time. In addition, we are contemplating a beach vacation which is motivation enough.

This weekend we had our besties in town and needless to say we pigged out. Every single meal. So by Sunday night, we all were done. Salad- Juice was the way to go.

Sumit made one of his delicious Juice concoctions and I decided to make salad.

My chatter box said- Salad is not going to fill me up. So I decided to twist it up.

Calling it

Transformed Salad: Cross between torta and Open Sandwich: Or just Something Delicious

Ingredients:

Finely  chopped

1. Zucchini - 1/2 cup

2. Carrots - 1/2 cup

3. Peppers - 1/4 cup

4. Onions  - 1/4 cup

5. Parsley- 1/4 cup

6. Lettuce - 3/4 cup

7. Garlic  - 1 clove

8. Shredded Cheese  - Per taste (Or substitute with Goat Cheese)

9. Hummus  - Per taste

10.Spices: Chili Pepper, Black Pepper, Dried Basil, Salt

11. Pita bread/ Any flat bread

To make:

1. Sauté onion garlic in olive oil.

2. When translucent add the spices per your taste

3. Add all remaining vegetables except parsley and Lettuce

4. Cover and let the vegetable steam

5. On a pan, let the pita bread get warm

6. Sprinkle cheese and then add vegetables on half of sandwich (Just so you can close it)

7. Add lettuce and parley.

7. Close sandwich and Enjoy when crisp.

We ate it with hummus dip and sriracha!

It was our dinner last night and lunch to go today. And needless to say this will be on our dinner rotation menu.

What I loved about it was, its like a warm salad. But the pita (I used whole wheat with sundried tomato) helped transform it in a complete meal. The simplicity of the spices bring out the complete taste of the vegetables.

The cheese helps close the sandwich really well and I cut it in Pizza shapes for lunch for the kiddos.

Welcome to try out the 'Transformed Salad: Cross between torta and Open Sandwich'

Haloween-i-fied!

Yes I am coining a new word: Haloween-i-fied:
\Pronounced\ Ha-low-eeee-niiii-f-ed
\Meaning\ Haloween activity which never ends....
\Usage\  Excalmation:  I am Haloween-i-fied
Let me explain.
Haloween is celebrated on: October 31

In our house:
Costume Search began: September 14
Costumes bought: September 28
Home decorated: October 5
Pumpkin Patch: October 12
Haloween Part'ies: October 26-27
Pumpkin Carving: October 28,29
Haloween Day: More parties, More Trick or Treating and More... Candy

So today is Haloween and I am Haloween-i-fied!

Our first pumkin carved together- Cutting- Sumit, Scooping- Chatter Box, Carving- Garima, Eating pumkin scopped gooey- Little Lady! 

Decorations in our house.... Flying ghosts, witches, stop-if-you-dare signs.... we went all out

nd of course- On day of Haloween even school lunches get Haloween-i-fied!

Happy Haloween All!

When I like something, I really like it...

Take the unbelievable salad for example... As forecasted, I had it a lot and within three 
weeks, my loyalty card paid off for a free salad! ;-) I am a sucker that way!
Next, there is a wrap place next to my office. In less than 7 minutes, I get a hot wrap, eat 
it and am back to meetings! Lovely lunch break. Loyalty card approved for a free wrap next time 
I go there.
Most recently, I was introduced to a place called 'Nusa'. And trust me, it’s the best soup 
place EVER!!! There is always a line winding outside the small place for their soups. And 
believe it or not, they have over four vegetarian soup options. I can only talk about one 
variety though, the one I keep having- Santa Fe Chilli sin Carne- add on the yogurt, salsa and 
chilli on top! Its the perfect lunch for a wintery afternoon. Sadly no loyalty card here... so 
I guess I just keep going back for the flavours!

And yes, I could carry home packed lunches. I do, 'sometimes' but luckily, the lunch options 
around here are worth exploring. And the fifteen minutes I do get for lunch in my busy day is 
worth getting out of the office and exploring!

This actually leads to another topic- having the tried and tasted food or truly trying out something new?
Yes, we all love exploring... but when you find something just perfect, do you tend to try something else on the menu... just because? Your take?

Email addiction....

I am one of those who cannot leave an email unread or deleted or archived or labelled. No I am not organizing my inbox, just, when I log into my gmail, I like....'no new messages' to show. Period.
That implies, I check my smart phone, iPad or computer incessantly and either delete, reply to or mark to reply, follow up, pretty much right away. Most of the times.
Au contra ire, my hubby's inbox.....has at the last he showed me 1500 unread emails. He does not clean his inbox. And that annoys me. But hey his inbox, his rules right?
Anyhow, back to my email addiction..... I love it. Sometimes easier to communicate via email then actual calls. Yes, I suck. I know. A few friends, we have a common email chains, how else are we suppose to keep connected in over four continents. A dear friend and I exchange emails as often as possible....they are long, wordy and to some extent like a conversation just the e-conversation. Some friends, I need a single liner email and I know what we mean. It can be a forward of standard "what not to wear" auditions and we both laugh our life out over emails. We know.
Email conversations are fun, frequent and simple.
Now comes phone, being in London now implies I fight time zones, sleep alarms and different schedules. But we talk...generally after missing each others calls a zillion times, we talk. And it's fun.

At the end of the day, its these calls that keep me connected back to my girls. Our friends and above all makes us smile.

Skype, email, cheap calling rates....thanks, though I have packed away a decade of my life in US and life in India.........I am still very much there.

And yes, I have read your email....I promise to revert soon.

Oatmeal

Wiki knowledge tells me: “oatmeal has high content of complex carbohydrates and water-soluble fiber that encourages slow digestion and stabilizes blood-glucose levels"
But I read that right now, just two minutes before I was about to write this post. All I knew about Oatmeal is- It’s super healthy, you must eat it and it fills you up in a nice way.
The first time I ate oatmeal, I hated it. Not a big fan of gooey things! But hubby was a big fan and introduced me to different flavors of oatmeal. During our pregnancy, I grew to love it. And though it’s not a staple meal in our house, we always have it in the house (Thanking Costco!)
Recently with Sumit and my brother starting P90X routine, the Oatmeal consumption increased tenfold. They got this amazing Fruit N Cream flavor which I heart! Sadly, the plain oatmeal sat at the back on my pantry.
Luckily I stumbled upon Priya's blog and was amazed at how many things she uses oat meal in! Hmm..
I tried this one: Mixing plain Oatmeal while making dough for Paratha's/ Roti. There is no looking back. So every now and then, I mix one packet of the plain quick oats in my wheat flour while making the dough. The resulting roti's have no special flavor or texture.. it’s like Roti but with the added benefits of oatmeal!
It makes me feel good.
I might slowly start trying other things that with Oatmeal in them... lets see. There is this- Poha & Oats Cookie which my sweet tooth is calling me to make!

Anyways, recently, I am trying to, at least one meal a day, start with oatmeal. So make one packet, add nuts, cranberries followed by normal food. This I think is doing the following- giving me benefits of oatmeal but more importantly, the main food portion is getting reduced since oatmeal is filling me up in a healthy way. I have done this now for six days in a row. Realistically I know I will not be able to sustain the daily. But even if I do this a couple of times a week for a meal a day- No Harm Done.

Any Oatmeal ideas/ recipe's you got?

The most recent one I saw is Chefdruk's Oatmeal cake.. Yumm Yumm Yumm.. Vanessa I have to try it!

Are you a softy or a toughie.?

Hmm, I remember my teenage, early adult hood years. I was super strong in my mind, and over all a toughie. Being a bit tom boyish, I took pride in carrying the heavy furniture around without a flinch, Yes, I did massage my sore arms in the privacy of my bubble bath. I would sit through an emotional movie and not be super sensitive about it. I would barely shed a tear, rather, I would use eat a Jalapeno and wipe away the tears calling it;- Spice Tears. But overall, I knew I was a toughie, or a may be a softy, being a toughie. Hey, single girl, foreign country, away from family. I had to be a toughie, right?
I am sure, my friends can swear by me actually enduring a bit more pain emotionally and physically, since I Do and DID believe- Tom boyish girls have more fun.
Then slowly but surely and much to my mother’s relief, I calmed down, the raging hormones, the need to defy the world, be the rebel all kinda fell into place. Mind you, I am still as opinionated as before, but just hmm a bit diplomatic/ polite about it now! (Eye Rolls welcome!)
Anyways, back to the point: After you became a mom, or settled with a significant other made you a softy?
Hmm, in my case yes! I couldn’t believe I actually screamed in a horror movie and snuck into my hubby's arm after my marriage. Whereas just a couple of years ago, I would laugh away or be the arms for my scared girl friends! After being a mom, I can’t believe how easily tears come to my eyes ( Yes still in the privacy of my room). Just recently, a colleague shared her story of her 5 year old breaking an arm in school by falling down. And just listening to her, had me misty eyed. I did comfort her, and told her things would be fine. But ran to the rest room and wiped the tears away.

Am sure, when my daughter reads this in a couple of years, she would laugh, since I am a toughie with her. I won’t easily budge by her 'I-want-this-tantrum' I actually brave it out. But, I know the minute she realizes, I am giving her extra hugs and kisses to make up for my 'toughness'.
It's finally the softy side of mine overtaking my toughness as a wife and a mother.

Has this happened to you? Or I always was a softy, just didn’t want to show it around and be vulnerable? And oh yes... what are you.. a girly girl.. or a toughie girl! Remember, under your motherhood, wifehood, working hood and ... there is still a girl!

How food poisoning can help..

Seriously.. it can.
As a reminder, I was hit by a bad food poisoning incident about two weeks ago, right after our wonderful Anniversary dinner.
It’s been a fortnight and lingering weak stomach condition remains.
I am eating food again and can process it normally. Finally, but food poisoning has helped... here is how
1. I can still not fathom eating outside food. I tried it once, and was holding my stomach the rest of the day.
2. In the holiday season, with the social life buzzing, I HAVE to choose wisely; else, I will once again be holding my tummy. Recently, I stuck to just salad at a holiday party with yummy food everywhere around. Damn!
3. I don’t have a choice but say 'No, Thanks' to the endless supply of holiday cookies and dessert. Again, I tried eating one and well, you guessed it right, holding my stomach later.
4. Coffee is still a delicacy. I am no longer having my 'mug' a day, but a mug on a weekly basis hoping that I don’t have to hold my tummy right after.
5. Snacking has reduced to zero. Since my options are hold tummy or snack, I choose neither. I stick to munching tasteless crackers for the hunger pangs still!
6. Best of all, I still can’t take spicy food well. Last weekend, our friend had made the most delicious Paneer dish. I ate it and licked it all and thankfully it was not spicy!

Urgh.....come on man.. weak tummy please recover. Let me enjoy my favorite month and the holiday festivities... it’s been so scary for me, that even on weeknights with a bunch of friends gathered, I am happy cooking for all instead of ordering the 'Pizza'.

So food poisoning has helped, in making me sulk, look down upon food and really dread meal times. I enjoy cooking a lot, but I don’t enjoy cooking the same blandish food every single night.... Any ideas/ recipes for better/yummier easily digestible food??
And for the record, we eat in regularly. But now that I know, I cant eat out at all, I am really not a happy person.

To my family- thanks for understanding and not sulking at simple dinner menu's! And above all keeping the helping hand ready. Hoping I am back to 'normal' food soon!

Edited: Updated correct title

Cough.. Sniff... Ouch!

I hate feeling sick.. I know so do you. No one likes it. But, I hate feeling sick when I am sick. I tend to keep myself more occupied, busier and go about life like I am perfectly fine even if I am nursing fever and something. My reasoning, this way, I don’t "feel sick" but feel normal and the mind will tell the body to get better sooner.
Over the years, SD and I have discussed this often. When he is under the weather, just give him the blanket, the TV remote and the fluids. He is perfectly fine snuggling in and just being. On the contrary, when I am unwell, I like to go about life like normal. I would prefer being out, or doing things around the house and being on the move even if I am down with 101F. I don’t like just taking it easy. Since if I do, I self pity myself and I hate it. It’s weird, per SD.
For me, it’s normal. It's funny since when I was full term, I remember my gynac telling me: Take it easy. Don’t run around so much. I argued. I want to feel useful and not just sit around with a protruding belly. SD was given the herculean task of ensuring I don’t do anything over and above for at least two weeks. ;-)
Yesterday was different. I was feeling unwell; I knew I was coming down with something. I left work early and slept in the afternoon. I snuggled in the blanket and SD went around the house to maintain some decorum. He pretty much did everything that needed to be in done in the evening power hours. And except getting up for water, I slept in the bed. He closed the bedroom door, took V out, made dinner and played with her. He fed her and me, and let me just be. For once, I actually let myself take a break.
And honestly, it felt good. I am still not recovered completely, but I think by being out and about as well, I would not have recovered any sooner. For one sick evening, I didn’t mind taking a sick day!
I can imagine SD giggling while reading this and saying: "See I told you so!"