Anyway what’s your baby program?

What!!! Yes, I actually came across this on Facebook. Yes.. in full public view.. and for all to read.. and smile/ smirk. Now, as a disclaimer in all honesty, i don’t know the person and how close was the interrogator to that person, and it may be okay for her to be asked that question.. but OMG>. did it stir up some emotions in me! This is one unchartered territory, even for the talkative, inquisitive me!!

Being away from India for a couple of years has influenced my thinking when it comes to people's privacy. A friend of mine reminded me, some people will very blatantly very personal questions as - So what is your salary? Aren’t you trying for a baby since 6 months?, So, HOW iss your wife? I mean seriously!!!!
I am trying to live by the quotation: "Do unto others as others do to you!" simple. I conform to it by asking those questions, that I don’t mind answering myself. Give people’s privacy some respect man! Even with close friends, we might tease each other about kids et al and say.. the "chotu xxx" but its all in jest, I am definitely not going to blatantly ask that "anyway what’s your baby program?"

For me, one, its very rude and two, mind your own business. Yes, of course like any Indian couple, my extended family would always ask us, so when do we get the good news!! When do you become two to three and so on.. I still remember some sheepish person at the wedding... winking the eyes and telling me a few days after the wedding- Shaadi ka proof in a year naah!! What..OMG!!! I was bottom lined embarrassed, and yes was about to punch that person's face.. but the choodi ridden and mehendi colored hands of mine shied away from that. But i did get my revenge, the day the cousin got married; I did ask them the same question ;-) (In a more subtle way of course!) Evil me! I know!

I don’t even ask my SIL's, cousins or friends that! In some cases, Yes, I would drop enough hints.. (Naughty wink!) and sometimes even say it out loud, but when its only us! Them and us and not the "250+" friends on FB looking at that question! Urgh..

It's a very personal question, SD and I are very happy parents of a toddler now, and still there are times, when I am asked- so when does V get a sibling? She is the only one, you should have another one!!! .. It never ends does it? I mean come on.. Stop... "Anyway’s its our baby program, so please.. let us figure it out!"

You are in bliss when....

You get up in the morning.. have the coffee already brewed! Head out.. sip on coffee in the backyard overlooking the beach! Read the paper.. and then tell the chef what you'd like for b-fast..or even fix it for yourself!
The kid is ready for school and you make the nice scenic drive to kiss her on the forehead, and drop her off.
Head back home then go for a nice swim, relax, come back out! And then call up one of the girl friends for lunch. Or even better, get ready post a healthy meal, and then work- work can be anything, it can be you working on a book, doing art work, owning a lovely boutique, having a well established business and you can WFh when you feel like it..Hmm.. so the basic undertone, is you are self employed.
You do the necessary work, and you love the job(it pays the bill come on..). Go for a jog, come back, pick your daughter up.. and have the evening dedicated to her... Hubby is back.. and you all have a healthy scrumptious dinner! The clean up- hmm, you have help at home! You make sure things are in order. The kid snoozes at sleep time, and the couple takes off.. once again in the backyard to enjoy the lovely sea side breeze and the walk on the beach with the cool moist sand touching your feet..and you enjoying the stroll knowing that your family is well fed, loved, and safe.....and by your side! You are in bliss!

Screeeeeeeeech halt! tring tring! Its 6:35 alarm! You wake up with a heavy head! Pull yourself out of bed! Stumble to the kitchen counter, start the coffee, put the bagels on toast, get the cereal boxes out, chop up the fruit, pack the lunches! Meanwhile, the other half is getting the kiddo ready for school, and getting ready himself! You sprint back in the shower, take a quick one, and the clothes are laid out from the night before. You dress up. Head out to meet the family for B-fast! Its 7:45... Esh! You pack up everything, clean up the kitchen and head out- Drop the kid to school in the treacherous traffic! Go to work! Have a working lunch.. and then in the evening, pick the kid back up! Have the evening dedicated to her (while the dinner is being prepared by the crock pots, and the ovens and loads of pre-planning!)....Hubby is back.. and you all have a healthy scrumptious dinner! The clean up- hmm, You make even the sink sparkle!! You make a quick dash to the gym.. and then You make sure things are in order. The kid snoozes at sleep time, and the couple takes off.. but this time in the living room, with the kid tucked safely in her crib! You are on the couch with your feet up, sitting by him ..and enjoying the warm breath, and a reading a lovely book.... knowing that your family is well fed, loved, and safe.. and by your side! You are in bliss!

Bottom Line: Life is good!

Gals.. and there shoes!

What is it with us girls and shoes... and the only reason i say girls.. is that there are very few guys i know who ponder over shoes.. Except one- a very dear friend of mine has formed a FB group for people following his shoes.. i swear! And he has an amazing collection as well. But back to my point... What’s with us and shoes..

We go to a party... do the socializing part, and then ponder with girl friends, oh.. such lovely shoes, such a tacky pair, oh hot combo.... and of course.. i want something like this! Very rarely the same.. but something like it! Agreed, similar stories for clothes, and purses and accessories.. but for today, I will talk about shoes. There have been endless times.. when back in the car, I would tell SD< oh did you see her lovely shoes.. and he would shrug it off and say:"What!, no I didn’t, but I did like the food!" And if i say the same thing to my girlfriend, she would nod; and we’d have an excited conversation about it.

I still remember that quote from Bend It like Beckam- “Shoes- one black and one white pair, that goes with everything!” Oh man, I was in splits.. I had heard it before!!!
Without generalizing, at an Indian wedding, the guest will wear the fanciest of clothes, heaviest of jewelry, gorgeous hair do's.. But when it comes to there shoes/ sandals..... it will one basic pair- there reasoning.. oh its so hidden under the saree/ lehenga/ salwar suit.. no one looks there! Yes people look... you cannot be wearing black Bata slippers at a wedding in Taj! :-D (Man, i sound like a bitchy snob right now!)

I had decided this summer, to not buy any shoes for 6 months.. and i was doing perfect.. for 5.5 months.... over the last week, i bought myself two new gorgeous pair of shoes... and with barely any place in my shoe closet to fit them... But of course, i will not frown, and tell SD.. oh i will just make them fit there.. Knowing very well.. That time comes to go out; it takes me 20 minutes to just get the pair out. (I have to lift shoe boxes, re-arrange them..and then find them!) Phew.. But trust me.. Its worth the effort. For me, I get ready in 5 minutes for most occasions.. What takes me the longest is finding the right shoes! I swear, We can never have enough shoes.

My girl friend’s shoe collections will put all to shame... and we can talk endlessly about the same as well! I remember watching Sex and the City.. oh for Carrie's shoes.. and the Manolo Blahnik.> Man.. When i can put my hand on them...or more correctly, my feet in them.

No matter what, there will always be this one cut, this one color, this one style.. which we will not have. And will crave to get them. And yes, we take immense pleasure in wearing the high heels for a evening out.. and nurse our feet the next day! I know when i had a knee injury, I was so bummed out.. that i had to only wear flats for almost two years... so wow! My justification: And I am making up for it now.. the new shoes for my evening out tonight!

So though I am guilty for breaking my pledge…. The pleasure of the new shoes is more overpowering.. and I say: “Come on.. I deserve it!”

Is it only me?

Smile Factor

Not all know, but I am a member of a working mother’s blog site and i contribute on that site once in a while. This morning, I was browsing through the blogs I follow and to this site.. I scrolled down and i saw that one of the posts of mine was the Member spotlight! Cool Naah! It gave me a high and smile and most definitely made me feel good.

I don’t know what the criteria of choosing it or something is, but its like back in school, when for some reason, teacher really liked your essay and puts it up on the notice board for all the other students to read! I know me for one, would always try to be one of those.. but oh well, As you can imagine, math and science where my forte, teachers commended me on that but definitely not on my literary skills (I never had any!) But still, seeing my post as the member spotlight, made me feel like a little school girl again!

Few of the Simple things that made me smile recently:

V's mummy mummy: I go to pick her up from her day care, she sees me, drops everything she was doing, rushes to hug me.. and all the time is screaming mummy mummy. Similar thing at home, we are playing, and the door opens, per her logic- door opening = dad's come home from work.. So she once again leaves everything and runs to the door and says " Papa aaye papa Aaye" Very very cute! So that gives me a high!

A good hand of poker: Recently at a friends place, where we were playing post dinner friendly poker, i had pocket kings.. and below were a king, an ace, a pair of two's and a three...for any one who follows Poker- 3 K's and a pair of 2's makes it full house and a very good hand!! The opponents betting felt like he had an ace giving him two pairs.. i least excitedly played, kept matching and putting in a lot of chips.. but pretended like i had nothing (trust me, i would definitely put at least a B-grade actress to shame!). My friend went down bad.. he had more than 60% of his chips in the game.. and needless to say he was shocked..and we all had a good laugh! And it gave me a naughty smile for sure.

Decent party: We love to entertain and enjoy hosting gathering's for friends and family. We do it as often as possible.. and every time, if all went well. Friends bonded, liked the food, had a good time, towards the end of the party, i sit down and revel in the merriment and smile.

Emails: My girlfriends and I have a decent email chain.. sort of therapeutic.. and we all are in different continents, difference places in our lives…but we write to it almost daily.. reading that gives me a high!

Top of the charts: The thing that makes me smile all day: Waking up next to my bestest people: SD and V! Followed by looking at the family picture on my night stand with our sets of parents looking and smiling at us!

What's your "Smile Factor"?

Life is not one big story, but a combination of little ones!

This was a line SD said right after a cop pulled us over for crossing a white line at a turn! The cop figured we were genuinely lost, and gave us directions to the place we were heading. Phew, a sigh of relief, no fun in getting a stupid ticket at midnight! So alls well that ends well, and then SD said the above line: "Life is not one big story but a combination of little ones!"

Few words but profound meaning. We both have been feeling that lately.. lets live more for the moment, all is good and we have to make sure what we do is good and gives us and people close by immense pleasure. Learn from the small things we see, grow with things we learn.

So here are the little stories in the past month, which have struck a chord! And these small stories will be a part of our bigger one!

On a recent jet-ski trip with friends, by lets just say, some stupidity of mine, we overturned the jet-ski. So the jet ski is upside down, SD and I were eventually laughing hard with life jackets in a huge lake, and really hoping our friends find us there! Eventually a lovely couple on a speed boat came, towed our ski and helped us back to our rental place. Really nice.. the lady said a simple thing, the week before, someone had rescued her daughter from the lake! So for her it was only overdue to repay it back to someone. Hmm... What goes around comes around i guess.

We met a cousin after ages, and while discussing SAHM and WM's (Short forms for stay at home mom's and working mothers, in case you are unaware of the lingo), he said a simple line: No body can bring up your child but you. At the same time, you have to spend quality time and not quantity time with the kids! As you can imagine he favored my kind- WM's and the guilt of working while V plays in daycare subsided a bit.... And i know its true, since we do may spend lesser hours with her, but definitely more productive and fun filled than when i was a SAHM. Point duly noted!

V and all of us went to Shedd aquarium in Chi town, just a huge place with a variety of fishes.. and dolphins and sharks.. and walrus.. and all you can image. I saw people of all ages, all colors, number of nationalities... just mesmerized by it all.. these lovely creatures, who don’t care what we do, where we come from and what our beliefs are! They live in there simple pleasures, and the mankind is staring at them, and cheering them on, as one! No differences, just one! Two things here, we all can live happily and share this earth without any issues.. and then, we should definitely go the green way to preserve what’s dear to us. I do want V and generations to follow to experience these simple pleasures!

And for going the green way- it may sound uber cool, so something which is a farce... Its not. We can all do something for this Green revolution- and the the title "Life is not one big story, but a combination of little ones" will hold true. If we do the little things to save earth.. all these small things by millions of people will add up to the bigger one- generations to follow enjoying mother nature in its simple, beautiful form.

So we must go on, continue enriching our loves with these little stories and keep an eye out for the younger ones to be able to do the same!

With a twist!

I have been writing weekly on this blog, there is no theme to it, just whatever moved me, whatever troubled me and above all, whatever i spent time thinking and pondering over... But for the entire last week, i didn’t have the inspiration to write. Writers block of sorts... We did do a lot of things- had friends over, went to friends houses, Took V to the fountain, the pool went for the long walks and of course the July 4th fireworks show. But still no inspiration.. and then suddenly out of my bi-weekly meeting with my boss! and tada! i have an inspiration!

My boss is an expectant first time mother. Like all, she is elated, excited and very anxious. She airs the same, and kind of looks at us "new" moms for words of inspiration. Amongst other things, i told her that before the due date- sleep a lot, watch movies, go to plays, go for walks, go to fancy restaurants and do all the adults only activities feasible with a protruding belly ;-)
She asked a simple question- why, don’t you do these things still?
And i thought- well i do! I still do, then why was i making such a big deal of it?

Hmm, i think its just the difference with a toddler in tow. SD and I still spend a lot of quality adult time together, and we do all the toddler friendly activities V should be doing. We still go for the walks, the restaurants, and now that we have help at home, we put V to sleep and try going for concerts and movies. Hmm, all activities are done but with a twist!

At a concert, we would call a couple of times at home, to ensure V is sleeping, and all is well. Though we are out with the friends with fancy clutches in hands, my hands misses the strollers. We will go for family dinners and carry enough spill proof cups and crayons and activities to keep this toddler occupied for the 2 hours long dinner. She is a good kid, but we don’t want to take any chances and have other adults stare at us or the older folks looking at us with disapproving eyes!

We will visit all our friends and host lavish parties at home, but there is enough non-spicy food for the toddlers and always an additional blankie if the little one decided to snooze.

We still sleep-in on weekends... with a different, SD and I take turns! One day i will have a late morning, and during this time, he will be up feeding her breakfast and playing with her and then the next day, i will be up sooner and he will be snoozing! This way both working parents get there fare share of lazy time and one on one V time!

So, i guess we do it all- with a twist!
And we love every minute of it..there is nothing stated above that we would like to change or alter.
So when i discussed this with the new mom to be, we both smiled- there is hope! And the i ponder- Its funny, the famous quotation goes: "Grass is always greener on the other side." But when a girl becomes a mom, and a couple become parents- the greener side is always on your side, the gleaming toddler eyes, the child like innocence in their laughter and the adorable mess all make the parents pastures green.. and yes with a twist!

Planned or Spontaneous?

I have been asked(don’t ask me why), whether i am planned person or a spontaneous one. Well i don’t know! And here is my reasoning for the same.

Like everyone else, we love to take vacations, short ones and the long ones. Travel to exotic and touristy places. See new things, do new adventures, meet new people, collect more magnets and shot glasses, take pictures and build memories of a lifetime.
SD and I are road warriors and have done our fair share of travels. Making the planned and the unplanned trips. Taking just couply trips, to chilling with a large group of friends and family. Enjoying it all! A lot!

For our vacations, I want to get the most bang for the buck! This means, countless searches for activities, bidding on the best deal for car rentals, flights, hotels. Calling up friends who have been there for recommendations, and oh yes, i almost forgot- there should be something for everyone. We need to plan trips which are toddler friendly, but not adult boring. This implies, there should be a mix of things, the adrenaline rush needs to be there, with aah so cute toddler parks.

So the planned trips: i need to have a list. A list for the things we need to cover, places to see, people to meet, things to carry, toys to bring along, food to carry, medicines to bring along(just in case) and so on and on.
Yes, i am anal. Before the trip, i will view, review, add, things to this master list with person responsible, status and comments. Yes MS excel is my best friend. I will send this list to SD and filter by his name, so he knows. Two days before the trip, i will start taking the clothes, shoes and all else out of closets, and put them in bags. I explain to SD that its my trips excitement, he shrugs, since we both know, realistically, i wont be able do it last minute, i will forget something and then fret over it!

I know that the night before the trip, i want to do nothing else, but
a. double check my lists that everything is checked off it (Smile!)
b. Ensure that on our return, we enter into a clean house (Aah!), and
c. Chill back...and enjoy some TV while my mind is already in vacation mood!(Grin!)

And then comes to the unplanned trips, i dont know how, but my mind switches off automatically. List, what list. I will ensure i have flip flops, sneakers, and one decent pair of shoes, and a swim suit just in case...the rest i dont care and i tell SD, Oh its America, if i dont carry it, no matter where we go, we'll find it! The bag gets packed in 20 minutes flat, the toys are put, V's stuff is in her diaper bag! Her food is ready.. and we can be out the door in less than an hour from the time we decided to take the trip. The only thing that i still do is "b. Ensure that on our return, we enter into a clean house (Aah!)"

Mind plays games you know. Both our trips- the planned and the unplanned ones, we enjoy immensely, the process, the aftereffect, the sore bones.. all say the same thing: Vacation well deserved and much needed! So if one asks, are you planner or a live by the moment person.. Honestly, i draw a blank, since i dont know! My preference: I dont care.. as long as i am away from home and on a trip- planned or unplanned!