Dating of a different kind. Really?

A not so new concept- Girl friends
A not so new concept- Mom Friends

A revelatory concept to me- Mom Dating

No I dont mean 'dating' in its true sense. But mom dating.

Let me elaborate:

Kids have play dates. You schedule these really (really) hoping that you get along with the moms. If you do next steps is play dates as a family. And now you really (really) hope that dad's, if siblings exist all get along well. This whole thing is what I call 'Mom Dating'. And if the family gets along well, chances are you will move to the next step- Get sitters for the kids and the parents go out together for dinner/ drinks/ concerts whatever catches their fancy.

 Hence my revelatory concept: Moms scheduling play dates for their kids in order to 'date' other moms.

This dating is completely different: Its more for moms to have mom-time without feeling like moms. Its for moms to have talk about more things than just 'ballet classes, reading levels and latest kids fad'. But there is no rolled eyes, if you include the 'latest spillage that the kid had on your purse' while you were talking about the NAS Sale.

Kids are likely in similar age group- you will have similar issues at hand, similar victories at hand and above all- for moms, similar frustrations.

This dating becomes imperative. Kids have a good time (They are not in your hair). You have a good time (Since you can let your hair down). See its a win-win situation

In complete disclosure, Have I done the above? May be but without being aware of it. So far its been one of three things for me:

1. We were friends first and so the kids automatically hung out together all the time.

2. If my friends didnt have kids we still hung out all the time, and the kids played with aunts fav. teddy bear.

3. Kids were friends first (or as my 5 year old would say 'She is my BEST friend ever') and the moms hung out enough to realize there is more to us than ferrying the kids around between activities and cursing traffic!

Hence Mom Dating, tread lightly, you don’t want to be a stalker!

And another update on the Getting Fit business

 Notice how I call it 'Business' since sadly it does take more of my time 'thinking' about it than I would like.

Two weeks ago, I had made a promise to keep up by 10 K a week and sadly health was not the best (See I already am giving excuses) But in all due honesty, minus the days when I preferred to not move if I didnt have to, I did do my 10K. Every Single day.

This week however, is better. Better because Sumit being hugely disappointed in me, re-set my goal to 8K steps a day. And I am meeting it EVERY SINGLE DAY.

I know I should be happy, but sadly I take it with a pinch of salt, since I am not 'pushing myself'. Oh well, small steps as they say, or in this case I should say- Lots of Steps!

What am I doing differently besides walking a little more than I used to?

1. Having a whole some breakfast, I know its counter intuitive to talk about getting fit and then say, oh I have a bigger breakfast. But trust me, its helping. I dont know how, but it is, since I am not cranky come lunch time. And above all, since I am waking at an un godly hour of 5:45 nowadays, the bigger breakfast keeps me sane.

2. Finishing off last meal by 7:30 pm. It helps that this week is Paryusan and I should not eat after sun set anyways. But its helping. How- This I can answer. Late dinners = Evil Sin! and Point 1: Heavier breakfasts comes in handy, since well how to say it--I am famished!

3. More water. This is easy for me, since I love water and trust me I can down a lot. But I am now making a conscious effort of skipping my afternoon coffee and substituting that with more water. I have skipped coffee 2 out of 4 days. Hehe! So thats 50% reduction ya'll!

And besides that nothing.

Sumit however is doing a lot more and I am proud of him. He takes most of his meeting walking. He will try to walk minimum 12K. He is trying to substitute all snacks with fruits or smoothies or more fruits. And above all, he is resuming tennis or will walk for his weekly volley ball game or will go and play more basket ball in the evenings.

See, now I feel super bad, since compared to all of the above, I am doing hmm nothing. So I guess him reducing my goal to 8K should be slap on the wrist.

Ouch Ouch Ouch

So the saga of the 'Getting Fit' business continues.

A friend asked me recently, whats so great about 'Fit Bit' and I honestly responded: It shows you what a sedentary lifestyle you lead.

It feels complete

I keep calling her my baby, my munchkin, my coochie coo and all the terms of endearment that mean 'cutesy baby'

She reminds me politely  (most of the times) and generally with shrugged shoulders: I am not a baby anymore.

She thinks she is a Big Girl.

In all due honesty, with all her achievements in the past few months, she is a matured 5 year old. If I could say the two things in one line.

In the past few months, she has flown to and back from India ON HER OWN as an unaccompanied minor. She relaxed in her summer vacation of 6 weeks sans her parents in the amazing and nurturing company of her naana- naani. She has travelled through India meeting people, going to parties of my parents, playing with neighbors kids in the park, speaking in Hindi, learning Marwari, forming even more opinions and basically doing all this ON HER OWN.

And yes, I cannot say this enough 'I am proud of her'. The pilot on her return flight approached me in the arrivals lounge and said: "You have a wonderful daughter. She was so well behaved and fun to talk to. She had a good flight"

I was in tears- Happy Tears

She has been back a week and I still gush. I still go and give a peck on her cheek just because. I still manage to raise my voice on an unfinished glass of milk, to realize, gosh I missed this commotion. Her incessant 'Mummy why, mummy this, mummy that' feels like the new normal. And I say-  Gosh, I missed this.

I could see coloring books and pens strewn around the house. I could  see her stuffed animals left on our bed. I could see some hair-eating, I could see some tantrums. I could hear her non stop questions. I could hear the foot stomping when things are not going her way. I could see her being her!

But I dont.

I see a house lived in. I see a 5 year old who is wise beyond years but reminds me every other minute, I am still a five year old.

I see a family.  

But yes, I could use 5 minutes of silence from 'Mummy why?'

Story of the brown bagged colorful lunch

Now that I am doing better with my 'Must do 10K steps on weekdays' rule, a thing to compensate that was taking lunches from home.

In spirit of full disclosure, i hate carrying lunch from home. Let me put it another way, I love eating out. Or maybe, I like being away from my desk when I eat just to get the  break. Or yet, with so many options here, why bother with same old same old home cooked lunch!

You get the idea!

On his recent grocery trip, Sumit got 'loads and loads' of vegetables and fruits. It took both of us over an hour to arrange and re-arrange everything in the fridge! His reasoning, they looked so fresh.

I said more lunches, salads, fruit custards, fruit smoothies!

So one of these mornings, I tossed myself this delish salad- Let’s call it '7 min. salad'

Ingredients: All finely chopped:

- Lettuce leaves-4 to 5

- Baby Carrots- 7 or 8

- Cucumber - Half

- Peach - 1

- Raspberry - Handful

- Minced Ginger - 1/4 tea spoon

- Pickled Ginger - 6 or 7 (I used the one which you get along with Sushi!)

Process: Take all of the above and toss them in a big box to carry for lunch! Done!

Dressing:

1 sachet of Black Pepper

1 tsp of Spicy Sauce, yes you read that right, again Sumit's idea! 

The lunch was delicious, the fruits and the spicy sauce compensate each other beautifully. The ginger adds a zing to it and the lack of any salad dressing makes the salad feel lighter and more fresher.

 It really reminded me of this Perfect Salad I had in London a while ago

I wish I had some walnuts or almonds to make it 'nutty'

All in all, this was one delicious brown bagged lunch with loads of color!

Tch Tch- This Lazy Business is bad!

I should keep up: Well for both, blogging and secondly and more importantly for my 'Getting Fit' business and its reporting!

Its been exactly a month, since I bought the 'Fit Bit'.

The journey has been 'up and down' and sadly 'more down than up'. Ok, let me elaborate.

The first two weeks, the novelty of it was awesome. I was keeping up with it, increased my target to 10000 steps and doing good. I didn’t meet it every day, but met it 5 out of 7 days. Yay!

But in the past two weeks, I have been BAD. Last week, I met my target of 10K steps only ONE day. Yes NOT GOOD.

And on top of it, I relished food way too much and in my case it SHOWS, everywhere and more importantly my jeans are more snug than I want them to be.

So another Monday, another resolution!

Well. My aim for this week is simple- I want to meet my target EVERY SINGLE WEEK DAY!

That's it.

Just meet my target and I promise come next week, I will 'display' my weekly report that Fit Bit sends me and puts me to shape.

 Sumit bought a Fit Bit for himself as well. So its two of us now. Our cousins, who introduced us to this, have been insisting we join them for 'Group Tracking' and I am not up for that YET. So the struggle continues.

I think the best and the worst part of Fit Bit is- It really shows how LAZY your day to day life is. If we cant do 10K steps in a day at the age we are, the future looks a bit well 'podgy'. Yes my initial target was 8K which I meet comfortably, but I want to push myself, just a little at a time.

So wish me luck> I want my 10K badges!!

Why do people have kids?

Recently I was chatting with a friend about this and that and kids and this and that and kids.

She then point blank asked me: 'Honestly, tell me why people have kids, it sounds like a lot of work!'

I paused, thought and responded: 'They want to, that’s why'

I loved the point blank honesty of the question. I don’t think my answer got any points with her!

And then as we spoke a bit more, I heard myself talk. I did have my kids because I wanted to. Sumit and I knew we wanted to be parents.  For us, it may be because Sumit and I decided to start early on the 'parenting' band wagon. We really didn’t analyze too much. We both wanted kids at some point and in all honesty, earlier felt better. We grew up with V and enjoyed  her childhood innocence immensely. With Little Lady again, we really didn’t want to over-analyze, is now a good time? Is next year? It felt right and we went for it.

We are blessed with V and Little Lady who are AWESOME kids! Yes they are a LOT of work, but they are a LOT of fun. An evening gets colorful with the un-ending chatter box V. A trip to the park becomes a bit more exciting as I swing along my preschooler. A trip to the mall becomes oh so cute, as I browse the infant section with the cutest onesies possible.

But behind all the smiles and giggles, there is a LOT of work, pain, tears (generally mine!), scheduling nightmare, expenses etc etc. But I had my kids for us and its an added advantage that  they are a lot of fun.

She asked me again: 'Do you find them fulfilling?'

Hmm, no, I think my life is pretty fulfilling as it was prior to having V and Little Lady. I was very content with my life even prior to marriage. But with the three important part of my life now, they all make it 'fun'. There is no better way to describe it than that: Fun. Plain and Simple.

I say again, it’s a lot of work, sacrifices, adjustment. But it’s a lot about your own perspective.

Things are no longer, pack your bags and let's make a trip. It's make a list, pack your stuff, re pack, carry all types of first aid things, then pack some more. And then may be make a trip.

Things are no longer, lets catch a movie tonight. They are more like: Schedule a sitter, bribe a friend to baby sit, then find the right movie time after the kids sleep time, run for the movie, come home and sleep if you didnt manage to sleep in the movie since it was too loud.

Work is no longer the continuous hours until it’s done. Its work, come home, do evening chores, and then may be with a big cup of joe, work some more to finish off the work.

EVERYTHING takes twice as long as before!

BUT and a VERY IMPORTANT BUT

I love being a mom, I love the fun and smiles it adds to my life. For me, its de-stressing. You really cannot be angry/tired all the time with kids around. They observe. I really have learned to compartmentalize work and home much better.

Plus when it gets really tiring, there are date nights, movie nights, girls nights, holidays and vacations. And when it gets really long hours, there are extended visits to grandparents!

Sorry babes, I could not answer your question: I don’t know why people have kids! I know why we had ours- They are FUN! What about you, why would you/ did you have kids?

But in spirit of full disclosure. I love the post 7:30 pm bliss, when the kids are sleeping and I am relaxing- just my kind of fun!

Another Day, Another Try at this "Getting Fit" Thing!

I have documented this business of 'Getting Fit' before and was not very successful. I am all about healthy recipes and the fun stuff. But still, the weighty matters have become integral to me. Mind you, I am not happy about it. But it is what it is.

Luckily or painstakingly, I have come to a point where I don’t have (major) body issues. I am what I am and am comfortable in my skin (most of the times and for the rest, there is Spanx!). With kids, work, life in general, I really don’t get time for working out. Yes, that can be a priority and taking an hour out from my day with such a supporting husband should not be hard.

I get that, but it just falls down the priority list. I can’t even come up with an excuse as to why?

Recently, we had family visiting and my cousin introduced us to this thing called 'FitBit'. Concept is simple, it’s a fancy name for a cooler and more hi tech pedometer. It counts the number of steps you take in a day. Simple.

(Image from google)

But the fun part is, you can set targets for yourself, synch in with the endless possible gadgets to see how far you are from your daily target, challenge with family and friends who have this as well. If you really are into it, you can even include calorie intake in its app and track it from there. The sleep tracking tells you, did you have a restful sleep or now. Somehow this with kids makes me pity myself a bit ;-)

Well, I caved and we bought one for me. I am on day 3. Today

Day 2, I was 1000 steps away from my target of '8000' steps a day.

Day 2: I was 2000 steps OVER from my target of '8000' steps a day.

Hmm> Today, I am hoping to catch up and ensure I meet my target.

Since its new, the novelty factor makes it so much fun. I cant wait to synch it up and see, how I am doing. The cool thing is, you are walking anyways for life in general. This just keeps a tab on it and keeps you accountable. As Sumit says 'It makes you push yourself just a little bit more in your daily routine' And then I am hoping slowly it will encourage me to walk a bit more, to increase my targets slowly and continue this.

I will be realistic; I know I am enthusiastic due to the novelty of the device. But oh well, me being me, lets enjoy the moment and worry about it later!

The only thing I didn’t like about FitBit since I wore it, It's ugly. A black plasticky band on you. The other colors were all sold out. Even this one, took me a good time to get my hand on. Plus with its material, it really looks unfashionable, stocky and eww. But I know it’s for a purpose, so I will suck it up and continue wearing it. But I really DONT like how it looks. It's app for the iPad also has a lot to desire for.

We have ordered a band for Sumit. It should arrive in a couple of weeks and then we will have company in this wonderful misery of the 'Getting Fit Saga'