Is it a lone gunman, a mad driver or something else ?

Not the thoughts you want to have after a wonderful July 4th celebration with the kids and parents at Chicago's Navy Pier!

With family visiting from India, we decided to go to the Navy Pier to enjoy the fireworks. The 4 adults and 3 kids were plopped right by the water and a lovely picnic. At 9:30 the fireworks began and it was mesmerizing. We generally see this from afar, but watching the reflection on the water, with the songs and fireworks in synchronized fashion has its charm!

We clapped, enjoyed and after fireworks ended, decided to wait for the crowds to disperse. With the young kids and MIL, it would be easier. So we plopped on a bench and were just chatting about the display. My SIL and her daughter decided to go in the pier for a quick rest room pit stop.

Suddenly!
Yes suddenly we saw thousands of people running towards us screaming. We froze in our spots not knowing what was going on. We ducked behind the very bench we were sitting on. May be 30-60 seconds later, everyone just stopped. We stood up and said to our bystander, wonder what that was about! And then we see swarms of cops yelling at the crowds to "Get Down NOW, Take cover. "
And I slam dunked my 11 year old and 6 year old again on the floor. It just got more real. My MIL cannot sit on the ground, I see my husband just giving her cover with the back to the cops.

My girls are starting to scream and I really want them to be quiet, just in case "they" hear them.
One is below my arm and the other is holding my hand. Both are shaking and may be it was me also. I look at them and ask them to look at me. And just tell them "Sing Navakar" our daily chant.
I needed them to focus on as we hear screams around us. And that's what they did. Looking straight into my eyes with tears streaming down their cheeks. They just chanted and are curled up like little babies. I see Sumit and his mom as bend down as physically possible 5 ft. ahead. We lay there. And then 10-15 minutes pass by I think.
We see a cop come to us and tell us "IT IS SAFE, YOU CAN GET UP NOW"
The girls and I are frozen, he repeats and we stood up still unsure. There is a chaotic scene around us, but we stay focused on looking at him and Sumit and MIL with him.
He says "YOU NEED TO LEAVE NOW".
I say "NO WAY, I WILL STAY RIGHT HERE UNTIL THE REST OF MY FAMILY IS HERE" he looks at me stunned and stayed with us until my SIL and her daughter meet us.

Honestly, we had no idea what happened.
My first thought: "Not my kids"
My second thought: "Is a crazy car guy mowing down people"
My third thought: "Is a lone gunman being really really stupid"
My fourth thought: "Not my kids"

We looked around us, 10 feet from us, we see poodles of blood. Cops and paramedics with someone. I look at my daughters watching that and tears re-emerge.

My 6 year old cried and was like "Bad guys are here"
My 11 year old cried and was like "I am never leaving home again"
My 5 year old niece was just quiet and confused and looking around her.
And us, the four adults: Well were numb and the "what if's" started flooding the mind.
I held them close and talked to them all the way on the walk back to the car, we saw littered shoes, bags, glasses, tears and there was this silence in the crowd.

The kids slept with us that night, it took lots of talking, ice cream and honest and tough discussions to get them a "little normal" again.
Of course, I had to FORCE them to step out the next day for a bike ride and then slowly get normalcy back.
My girls and us are doing better now. We are still talking about it. It will always be their "normal" going forward and I DONT WISH it on anyone. I feel we got "lucky" but honestly not what i want to teach our kids. "It happens, just get lucky!" WHAT WORLD DO WE LIVE IN NOW

The girls wrote beautiful Thank You letters for the Chicago Police. Next post.. more to come 

Be Inspired: Our Girls. Our future.

Summer is a season of BBQ's, Cold Drinks, Park shenanigans and this Chicago Summer is unpredictable weather wise.
We have been literally making hay when the sun shines!

At one such BBQ evening with friends, I had one of the most inspiring discussion with a friends mom, lets call her Mrs N. An accomplished lawyer, a musician, an art dabbler and over all a very well read lady.
Along with my 11 years old and Mrs N, we were discussing American politics, the current volatility and the tolerance levels of people.
This is right up the alley for Miss V, my 11 year old. She said: "My schools motto is Honor Diversity" and Mrs N said, "that's wonderful, but I really want to be in a place where we don't have to talk about these things, be it honoring diversity, women's rights etc. It should just be "normal".

True.

This led to an even more interesting discussion on how change can be bought. And Mrs N. told my 11 year old and all of us something which left us speechless and really made us ponder. Her statement was:
"One can protest by standing and picketing and holding bill boards, yes. But one can also initiate change by being in the position of power or using the power one does have to do something more impact-ful". 
To which Miss V was quick to chime "The louder one screams the lesser the impact on the issue at hand!"

Like I said, I left inspired. She recanted a story to us from her childhood on how and why she became a lawyer, which was around the Nixon Impeachment and her absolute devotion to the American Constitution was clear.
Mrs N. was telling Miss V : "We need more women, More smarter girls choosing the path of becoming a lawyer barbecue you have the ability to be neutral, to be impactful and to be just. No one can take that away from you"

Miss V i think just hovered around Mrs. N the rest of the evening.
Like I said, summer BBQ's are amazing and also this one was for a special occasion and left me
feeling very inspired and I think whatever path Miss V and my Little Lady choose, I know that our girls can have any future they dream of and work towards!

This was the perfect way to start a Chicago Summer

Anti-Climactic Mothers Day!!!

When I look back now, i think it was very Relaxed , but at that time I was feeling "Cheated" and that was maybe because I was "Entitled" to it!
Plus now I truly feel how pressured a "hallmark holiday" can be!

So it all started with: " We have a plan for Mother's Day"
Breakfast in bed, a bike ride, a picnic in park, a lovely dinner with closest friends like family to celebrate all mothers, grand mothers and a day of pampering (aka my pampering)

And let me just say...."It was anti-climactic"
There were "tantrums" mainly mine. Overly dramatic... since i am like, its mothers day and its all about me and my MIL. (Read: Entitlement syndrome) But it wasn't. So i yelled (Sort of politely "not").
I gave myself a "Timeout" and folded two loads of laundry.
I gave myself a "Timeout" again and then cleaned up feverishly.
I gave myself a "Timeout" again and then just stomped my feet around the house like a BIG baby.

We (The Girlies and I) did make up by the afternoon over some hugs, some more hugs and some flowers... Always Flowers!
And then the day improved..... We were snuggling in and watching a movie, getting misty eyed when the Indian national anthem played in the movie and kids laughing at me. I should have fond memories of a lavish lunch and an even more lavish colorful dinner at home. Above all I should have the fondest memories of the bubble bath with the girls and having a "bubbles" funky hair!

So yep..... but I will remember "my own tantrums" from this Mother's Day and I do really wish the girls remember the "bubble bath fight"  instead. Time will tell!

But that is parenting, some good, some bad.... and not always perfect.
I had wished my mom-friends in the morning
"Happiest Mothers Day... these kids make us stronger, weaker, happier and angrier with all the emotions in between! May we have the continued patience to love them more than we already do"

I just didn't know that that's exactly how my day will go!

17 years ago....

2 big bags, short hair and overstuffed Hand carry bag

That's how I had landed in LAX, pretty much 17ish years ago. I had a distant uncle pick me up from LAX, take the local roads to my "room" a large-ish studio which I was sharing with a distant acquaintance.
And here I am, 17 years later, taking an oath of citizenship in this country.

It is a bittersweet emotion, India for me will always be home. My true home. But US will also be my home, my grown-up home. As weird as it sounds, it is as honest as it can be.

I have  forged new friendships, got married, had 2 wonderful strong girls, established my career, traveled extensively, lived in 4 US cities, moved over 10 times and not counting the move across the ocean to London for a bit. It has been a ride filled with speed bumps, crashes, speeding and lots of smooth riding as well.

Recently on my planned unplanned trip to LA and southern California, I was nostalgic. Sitting on the rug of my old "real college roommate" and laughing uncontrollably with her brother, their spouses amidst the cacophony of all our kids, I caught myself knocking on wood.

It's been wonderful journey. As I reel with being the Citizen of a new country, giving up citizenship of "home" I feel the path continues on.

Welcome to US, again I say.
I can vote now. The first time in my life. I left India before the legal voting age and since arriving here have not been able to vote.

The harder part of this natural progression is the emotional side. My brother always jokes: Not required in India. I am truly on paper now, an NRI and I will need a Visa to go back.

Jokes aside, I feel growing up in India has set me apart be it the family values, the work ethic, the jugaad attitude, the chalta hain attitude and above all the love for Bollywood. I feel the new passport will not take that away ever. I will be as Desi as Desi can be.

I see my kids who are born and brought up here and I see they are more desi and more global than I ever be.
That will be the true legacy in today's world. A global citizen, what your passport says has little to do with it.

Serves me Right!

I blew my own trumpet recently by showing off 'de-stressing via cooking elaborate meals'.
It's only fair that I follow it up with what happened the week after: I did absolutely nothing!

We ate out twice (trust me having someone cook for you and no associated clean up was amazing)
Sumit cooked twice and we absolutely devoured the delish meals.

The stress level across both the weeks remained constant but the energy level went down, way down! 

Silver Line: I did love how being taken care of without asking. I did love to talk in a monologue with a friend just so I could vent.  In the bigger scheme of things, I did love just focusing my energy on one thing and the rest of things just 'happened'
However I  missed being the provider, being the care taker (I can complain about this, Okay).

This is the tough and the true side of parents (working or not doesn't really change this). Sometimes you get a good week, sometimes a tough week and sometimes a week from hell. Schedules line up tight, you juggle a few things, you cant get to every commitment, you don't get to oversee the homework or sit for a good meal. But somehow at the end of it, it magically "fits".

Needless to say this week I plan to catch up: Starting by warm meals in our bellies, clothes folded and well laundried also, sitting with kids while they complain  finish the homework, remembering to breathe through the stress of work and above all I plan to catch up on the the most important thing: My unfinished Netflix Series!

Stress week or Food Frenzy week

When I am super exhausted or just very stressed, I do one of two things, I dress up fancily or I cook fancily.
Considering I have no where fancy to be at on a day to day basis. I have been cooking fancily.

The last few days in my house have been the following
Saturday: Daal Baati with all Maru accompaniments! Of course celebrating the birthday of the one of the strongest individual I know had something to do with this

Monday: Indian Chinese complete with hakka noodles, fried rice, paneer chili, Gobhi Manchurian. Having kids ask me to open a restaurant after this meal was the best compliment I could ask for.

Tuesday: An Ethiopian street food dish called 'Ful' gobbled up very quickly by all of us. Me missing my mum and sharing food pictures with them made it up

Wednesday: Chaat Corner: Paani Puri, Dahi Puri, Sev Puri! Sumit saying that the paani puri is close to his Jaipur days! Oh man, I am in bliss.

I feel food gets us all together on our dining table, makes us laugh, cherish the limited time we get even more. As working parents with busy lives and busy work, we dont get as much time as we would like with the kids. So this is me saying Quality over Quantity.
The weekday evening dinners makes my fondest memories with the kids (YEs even yelling at them to finish fast sometimes!).

I am sure my family wants me to stay stressed so I could make more elaborate meals(!).
I am sure my weighing scale begs to differ though!

So what's your stress buster?

It sticks in the Universe... but we okay

Man, I wish I had said something like "Solve World Hunger" and it would have stuck in the universe! But no, vain me had said "It's going to be a long winter" and long behold the universe heard that and that's what sticking!!! Damn Me.

Be careful of the spoken word!!! Rudimentary mistake.

Last week was well "interesting" and funnily in a good way. We battled polar vortex and counted our blessings that we had the luxuries of a warm home, a supportive team and kids who managed to keep themselves entertained. And we got to new additions on our "Art wall"

• We tried the "Throw boiling water in air and watch it turn to snow" Successful"
• We tried the "Blow bubbles and watch them freeze" Un-successful"
• We worked crazy long hours since no commute and the work just got more intense!
• Hubby worked, picked up all my slack and definitely the supportive team comes in play (Again!)
• But we ate amazing food: Mexican Bowl, Bhajia's, elaborate Indian Meal, Super bowl snacks and above all lots and lots of "Kadha aka Golden Bliss aka Herbal power juice"
• We saw DDLJ!!! And that my friends was the best part!

We oddly celebrated the onset of vortex and having the crazy cold go away with friends. We are like that(!). Simple pleasures or just need to be a little silly.

But the week was. Memorable. Again, i can only be thankful for staying indoors, being warm and above all being able to choose how I reach to such weeks.

The kids were also reminded of this. I often wonder how can we raise kids who are "thankful" and "not entitled" to these things. Open to all suggestions.