New Age Parenting ??

We are new age parents

And yes, I am sure all parents in their generation would think the same. So it does not make us unique, but still i like to put myself on pedestal from time to time.
I will continue.

We are new age parents.
We want to be actively involved in our kids lives, the PTA's, the classes, the play dates, the tucking in nights with the hugs and kisses. We want everything.

We want a career to reach the stars, the board meetings, the late night presentation preps, the work happy hours, the high heels to go with it. We want everything

We want a social life, the late evenings with friends, the occasional sans kids date nights, the crazy fun home parties, the dressing up for key milestones for friends and family. We want everything

We want a healthy lifestyle, the home cooked meals, the fresh salads, the occasional gym memberships, the soccer games with the kids. We want everything.

We want to reflect inwards, go to temple, do the meditation, learn about self calming techniques, the folding of hands with gratitude. We want everything.

We want to give back, be it volunteering, removing the weeds from a national park, packing food, donations, associated fundraising etc. We want everything.

But something's got to give. Right?
We still get the 24 hours in a day. We still continuously juggle and prioritize and make to do lists and make spreadsheets to keep track. We still struggle and some balls inadvertently do get dropped.  As 'new age parents' some days are good and some days are blah.
Is there a way to get this "Mysterious Balance" in the life of new age parents?

Hmm, I wonder.
May be not wanting "Everything" is a start. May be continuously adapting to life's priorities. May be making peace with the fact that we are not going to be balanced!

Is this what is New Age Parenting?
May be our parents had it right.... keep it simple and go with the flow and instill the value system. Rest will follow!

STRESS

Stress is defined as "a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances."

This sums up a lot of our days. Stress creeps in for a multitude of reasons- be it work, personal life, constraints on which we have no control over, over commitment, under utilization of skills and on and on.

Over summer, Sumit and I spend 10 days at a "Nature Cure" place and among other things we learned, the one element that had a lot of emphasis on was "de-stress" After those ten days, i felt calmer, my skin had a glow and i was "happier" aka less stressed.
I learned and got reminded of- One thing that is the key is "Less Stress"

And the first few weeks of being back to normal life were good, really good. I was genuinely less stressed, less running in circles and above all just calmer. And then slowly but surely,it slid downwards. One step at a time in the wrong direction.

And I didn't realize it until earlier this week. Calendar at work and personal life are choc-o-block. We are going through the motions of all festive celebrations, school recitals, work commitments and its all a lot of fun. Don't get me wrong, I would not have it any other way.
But the one element that is missing is "Just Breathe". I am not taking the time to breathe, to read a book, to take a stroll aimlessly. It does not have to be big. Just 5 to 10 minutes to just be.

And in spirit of following the cliche of new years resolution. Here is my revised definition of Stress

S- Simply let it go
T- Try to develop a workaround
R- Relax, breathe and repeat
E- Evolve and then resolve
S- Stay silent, sometimes letting that moment pass helps
S- Stress: Haha! Sometimes we are stressed about being stressed

Hot Coffee Day-Bonus: in a Cup

Coffee is a must for me... yada yada yada. You know this, so I am not going to go on and on how without my morning cup, there is a hugs gap in my mental alertness!

I will (for once) get to the point. What I do need, is the coffee hot. All weekdays, I am blessed with my Coffee Carrier and I sip on my coffee as i perform my rushed mornings things: Kids drop offs, chats, calls and roll into work. And I don't have luxury of time to do it any other way and have also stopped complaining about it now (most of the time).

But Saturday, not Sunday, now Saturday with no soccer games on the calendar, I need to enjoy this hot coffee in a grown up Ceramic Cup!

A ceramic cup when I can dunk my biscuits in the Coffee and enjoy it while I enjoy the peace, no rush morning and may be also have a conversation with my mum and "Chill"

And now my girls know it: Saturday Morning: No asking me for anything for those 20 minutes when I Sit, sip and really smell the coffee that I am drinking.

And this Bonus of me sipping my coffee in a cup has me more happy, more content and then I am back to the thick of task master mode "do this, do that" with the girls!

Summer of 2017

 As a mom, Summer equals the months when the kids are off school. 

And now my summer draws to an end. 

Over the next two weeks, The Little Lady starts hew new school closely followed by Miss Chatterbox in her new school as well. Touch wood, both are supremely excited for their new beginnings. 

I am sure Little Lady will have water works for the first day, I am mentally prepared for it. 

I am sure I will have some water works for both their first day's, I am mentally prepared for it.

To continue the tradition, her is my Summer of 2017 recap:

The kids did absolutely nothing and had a really good time (I think). They lazed and got pampered by grandparents, they went to the park countless times, they had ample late nights, BBQ's, Ice Creams, play dates, lots of crafts, some beach time, some lake time, some swim time, loads of biking and a whole load of nothingness to have them recuperate and energized and truly spend summer like kids are supposed to.

The whole nothingness, no plans, no agenda, it sort of worked out. With my In-laws around, I got massively pampered. I barely cooked implying coming home to food being ready is amazing. They spend countless hours with the girls, taught them, and just basically bonded with them, which I really think is the best part. And cheeky husband and I got in ample date nights! So this summer was a nice working holiday for me as well.

Though I love having kids home, I do need them back in school. As I often say, my 'regular scheduled programming to start'

I know- I suck! In summer, the mornings when I leave for work, I get long sullen kids’ faces telling me- You are going to office again! And then the mommy guilt creeps up even more.  And then I come home in evenings to a house hit by hurricane, toys strewn around, half-finished books, writing material on the floor and urgh! So then instead of hugging them, I get them on task and have them help clean up becoming the non-fun mom. 

So honestly, Minus the mess, I think it was a perfect summer!!

What made your summer super special??

Yep....I have slipped!

Nope, I have not forgotten about it...but yes, its ONLY at the back of my mind! I have slipped on the 'Getting Fit Business'.

I have become lazy and lazier these past weeks. May be its the Chicago Summer, the continuous BBQ's, the lazy mornings and even lazier evenings, my stupid knee, I really don't know, but I have become lazy about the 'getting fit'

My model is suppose to be simple.... Log your food, go to the gym/ keep a routine and then enjoy the process with buddies who help and encourage. Its not about loosing weight, its about being fit, energetic and happy!

But, I have not been logging on MyFitness Pal at all now. I broke my 74 day streak a few weeks ago,  and now haven't picked up the baton again!
For the gym, in summary, I injured my knee (I think at a stupid but super fun bowling game) and since then doctors orders are no squats, no pivot motions, no pounding of the knee... aka, no gym routine that I had down and was consistent!

Due to my knee injury, I am in the self pity mode and hence not even moving a muscle for any basic workout routine. I think I am being kinder to my knee. I sound like my grand mum, "kinder to my knee", but trust me being in constant dull pain in knee is no fun. And the pain goes from dull to shooting stabs in a matter of seconds. Read: Self Pity :-)

And it shows.... I am dragging my feet by end of day, I cant keep up with the kids soccer games and above all, I am feeling crankier!

Every Monday, I think.... next week I will start.

Please tell me I am not alone...... please leave some motivational messages :-/

Aaah! So, here I am picking up again. But this time..... not the baby steps that I love, I am actually leaping and jumping, since hey, now I know what to do.

So
Step 1: Join the gym THIS WEEK and actually go
Note to self.... if you pay up the monthly fees, its the best motivation
Step 2: Re-start logging on the weight THIS WEEK and actually not exceed the calories
Note to self....it takes only 10 minutes a day to enter in the food consumed
Step 3: Kick my buddies really well, I cant believe they are not helping me in stopping the slide!
Note to them.... be prepared for the kicking!

See it's their fault! ;-)

Sometime I get fancy without trying...

.....or rather I get fancy when I make a mistake.

Now Mac N Cheese, at times is like the quick fix dinner on those days when you'd rather not do anything else. The Aunt Annies's and the veggie loaded Mc N. Cheese quiet a staple in our family for the simplicity of it.

Blob of the pasta!

The other evening, Sumit said, lets make the mac n cheese from scratch instead, and it had been a while, and I said why not. Long story short, my pasta/ mac n cheese looked like a 'blob' of too much sauce and over cooked pasta. I was quiet confident that the kids and me would not like to eat it. Sorry, we are vain that way, food needs to look good.

That evening, I was on the mend from a nasty flu and was in no mood to start over or even order in. So the brain sparks flew and 'Mac N Cheese Balls' were born!

Mac N Cheese Balls Recipe
1. 3 bowls of cooked Mc N Cheese (it being gooey and sticky is not required)
2. For crisping: 2 cups Panko, 1/2 cup shredded cheese, 1/4 cup finely chopped parsley
3. Oil for roasting/ crisping the Mac N Cheese balls

Note: I have this cup pan which makes quite a lot of things in my kitchen, and is non stick, so easy to clean and its an amazing alternative to frying. It gives amazing round shaped whatever you want with 1/10 of the oil needed for frying. I have made, Veg. Manchurian, Kofta Balls, Lauki Kofta, Appa, and now mac n cheese balls!

Process
1. Mix all ingredients of the crisping and lay it in a flat plate
2. Let you ready to eat Mc n cheese cool down and make balls of it. Roll it in the crisping flour (Panko, Cheese+ herbs)
3. Heat the pan, and place a little oil add the ready to cook balls and let it get crisp (Yes you can fry them as well, but then you will need more panko and more oil.... and more time in the gy ot burn it off!)
4. It takes about 2-3 minutes to get crisp on each end

Note: Since Mc N Cheese is soft, you have to be careful in turning the 'balls over'. One can even make a 'Mc N Cheese' patty/ burger on a regular pan, like this Falafel recipe of mine. and enjoy!!


The girls and us loved it. I think Miss V was excited to have 'appetizers for dinner' and Miss Chatterbox S loved dipping this in Ketchup and enjoying!

For me, I enjoyed the 'fanciness of cooking' and getting complimented 'Such fancy every day cooking mom'

A little of this... and a little of that!

It is almost the end of February and time as usual seems to be flying, kids are getting cuter and more mature with every passing day. I am sort of keeping it together in the busy work lives and amazing family times.

They do say, time passes quickly when you are having fun. However, to be honest, not all has been fun, work has been crazy stressful, resulting in off-moods at home a la moi. It should be out of sight, out of mind. Somehow work wise, it’s not happening.

Slowly but surely, I am getting to a point of 'Being Stressed about the fact that I should not be stressed!'

On not so good news, I am at a plateau 'Getting Fit' business. On the up side, I am still using my app for tracking my food intake, but on the other side, I am not 'leveraging' the tools.

This implies, on a daily basis, I blow through my calories quickly and the real downer is that my ‘fat intake’ is still higher than ‘Protein’, which has been my biggest failure!

Yes, I continue to blame the delicious Indian snacks we got from our December vacation!

Oh well, the aim of getting to my target weight by my birthday seems a bit far right now. Its only 5 pounds away!!! So close yet so far!

Let me clarify, my 'true target weight' is still a far, however, you know me, I need to take small steps... So by end of Q1, I had a weight in mind and as of today, I am 5 pounds away from it.

I know I still have a month and it’s achievable within a 10% range. Still, since I am not doing anything about it, I am getting to a stage of self-pity!

On happier notes, life has been busy but good. This week, a friend of mine booked me in for a massage and then later this week we are planning to start the yoga classes together. 

We finally visited the MSI, started playing the game ‘Clue’ with my older Miss Chatterbox and playing the ‘Memory Game’ with the Little Lady. 

I have a series of baby sprinkles that I am helping host, implying many smaller babies coming in that I could play with. With the weather warming up, the Evening Park and picnic trips with the kids is 

not that far!

Warmer Weather = Happier Me!

Uff, Getting Fit is loosing its drive..

I don’t feel like continuing with the My Fitness Paljourney. It's been fairly easy with amazing results and I have been fitter and healthier and it’s easy to continue on.

I know, but I don't feel like it.

I had almost a month long break with my amazing December trip to India. I met family, i ate there, a lot, I mean when in India, I get to eat all my favorite foods with no effort on my end and its beyond delicious. Win Win.

And so maybe I am getting lazy.

The effect of following through the My Fitness Pal for 2.5 months was fabulous. I fit into all my wedding clothes, I felt on the top of the world receiving all the compliments but above all. I felt like I have accomplished something.

I know these are very same reasons why I should be continuing. But for some reason I am just getting lazy. I have re-started using the app since my return, following through my regular pattern of increasing the protein,portion control etc. and above all noting it down in the app. In the 4 days since I have been back, I have blown through my allocated calories not by a lot, but still blown through them. And I am not feeling guilty about it, that's what is scaring me. But I am not as driven as I was last quarter 2016.

Hmm, I think the best way to do this is my small steps.

Step 1: Use the app and follow through for one full week.

Step 2: Come back, report and follow through end of January

Step 3: Let's just get through Step 1 and 2 first.

Phew, So back to square one

A bowl of golden bliss

 I know I should call it Tabbouleh, But I will continue to call it a 'Bowl of Golden Bliss'

Because that's exactly what it was!!

Preparation Time: 20 minutes

Ingredients

Bulgur/Cracked Wheat/ Daliya: 2 cups washed (Readily available in grocery stores)

Very Finely chopped vegetables

1/4 onion

1/2 Bell Pepper

1 celery stick

1/2 cucumber

2-3 leaves of Kale

1/2 bunch Parley

1 tsp Lemon Juice (feel free to include more lemon juice if you like it tangy)

1/4 tomato

Spices: Per Taste

Salt

Paprika

Process:

1. Boil the washed cracked wheat and drain excess water: Takes about 15 minutes,

2. Let it cool and meanwhile chop all the vegetables very finely

3. Add all vegetables, lemon and spices except parsley to the boiled Daliya/ cracked wheat

4. Keep in fridge until ready to eat.

5. Add the finely chopped parsley at time of eating for the freshest taste of the 'Bowl of Golden Bliss'

Testimonials:

1. Supportive husband loved it, gobbled up my share, his share and the extra for later.

2. Miss Chatterbox aka my 7 year old Miss V ate 1 cup and tasted from all other cups that hubby ate

3. Little Lady aka my 2.5 year old Miss S tried a few spoons and seemed interested. She is a sweet tooth, so this was awesome!

4. Me, aah a Golden Bowl of Bliss

Complaining to Enjoying... tough but doable

I have complained. A LOT over this never ending Chicago Winter. I have complained to every one who'd listen, not listen. I have ranted long and I have ranted hard. You get the Idea!

But then, something changed. Sumit showed me a link of the CPD for Polar Days, the theme of the event: Its cold, but get out and enjoy yourself. Hmm, I honestly felt like it was targeted at me.

 We had friends visiting this Saturday and they loved the idea of being out as well, only for a bit, but out.

So we layered, buckled up, layered some more and headed out to the Northerly Island. It was AWESOME. Awesome to see huskies sledding in Chicago. Awesome to hear about their natural habitat, awesome for our kids to pet them and feed them and not so awesome to hear: I think I want a husky as a pet!

The kids did crafts, tried slipping on ice, the babies hung around the indoor camping tent. We clicked silly pictures, laughed so hard!

It was actually liberating- to be out and enjoy the winters as against complaining about them. Of course it did help that it was 32 F/ 0C which is balmy for Chicago standards. But yes, for what's left of winter (I think 3 more months) I am going to make an effort to be out a little more and complain a little less.

Unnecessary Glorification

You know how it is, there is one good article/ one picture and it gets circulated. A Lot. on facebook, via whats app, via mail, via e-anything. So a simple picture becomes 'Glorified'

 Here it is.

 I saw it, and was very uncomfortable, but I let it go and didn't 'Like' it. It comes up on another Media outlet and before I know it, that one day, I see it every where.

And I kept growing more and more uncomfortable.

 And here is why

 To me, the picture signifies the following

1. The lady has a smile on her face while multi-tasking.

Seriously show me one person who can handle all the stuff without whining. Kids or no kids. It is unrealistic representation of a person. It makes it seem its okay to do all this and if you are not smiling- Shame On you.

 2. She looks more like a sacrificial lamb to me.

It makes whatever the lady is doing 'single handedly' look OK. And I want to stand up and shout. ITS NOT.

3. The guy below the lady has a 'Exclamation' on his head.

Seriously?? What is he amazed at how much the lady can do? Is he amazed that he has two hands which are useless. What?

It's images like these which seem regressive to me.

Yes on any given moment, like all of us, I wear multiple hats. May be of a parent, a corporate executive, a girl, a cook. But so does my husband. How about we create an image to glorify him? The father, a co-parent whose work generally goes un-noticed or un-glorified!

It's images like these which seem like they are judgmental.

I don’t think I do half of the things that a 'good mother' is supposed to.  I think I have ironed Sumit's shirts a total of 3 times in our time together. Does that make me a bad wife? 

I think not.

It's images like these that I NEVER want to show my girls. Never

Dating of a different kind. Really?

A not so new concept- Girl friends
A not so new concept- Mom Friends

A revelatory concept to me- Mom Dating

No I dont mean 'dating' in its true sense. But mom dating.

Let me elaborate:

Kids have play dates. You schedule these really (really) hoping that you get along with the moms. If you do next steps is play dates as a family. And now you really (really) hope that dad's, if siblings exist all get along well. This whole thing is what I call 'Mom Dating'. And if the family gets along well, chances are you will move to the next step- Get sitters for the kids and the parents go out together for dinner/ drinks/ concerts whatever catches their fancy.

 Hence my revelatory concept: Moms scheduling play dates for their kids in order to 'date' other moms.

This dating is completely different: Its more for moms to have mom-time without feeling like moms. Its for moms to have talk about more things than just 'ballet classes, reading levels and latest kids fad'. But there is no rolled eyes, if you include the 'latest spillage that the kid had on your purse' while you were talking about the NAS Sale.

Kids are likely in similar age group- you will have similar issues at hand, similar victories at hand and above all- for moms, similar frustrations.

This dating becomes imperative. Kids have a good time (They are not in your hair). You have a good time (Since you can let your hair down). See its a win-win situation

In complete disclosure, Have I done the above? May be but without being aware of it. So far its been one of three things for me:

1. We were friends first and so the kids automatically hung out together all the time.

2. If my friends didnt have kids we still hung out all the time, and the kids played with aunts fav. teddy bear.

3. Kids were friends first (or as my 5 year old would say 'She is my BEST friend ever') and the moms hung out enough to realize there is more to us than ferrying the kids around between activities and cursing traffic!

Hence Mom Dating, tread lightly, you don’t want to be a stalker!

And another update on the Getting Fit business

 Notice how I call it 'Business' since sadly it does take more of my time 'thinking' about it than I would like.

Two weeks ago, I had made a promise to keep up by 10 K a week and sadly health was not the best (See I already am giving excuses) But in all due honesty, minus the days when I preferred to not move if I didnt have to, I did do my 10K. Every Single day.

This week however, is better. Better because Sumit being hugely disappointed in me, re-set my goal to 8K steps a day. And I am meeting it EVERY SINGLE DAY.

I know I should be happy, but sadly I take it with a pinch of salt, since I am not 'pushing myself'. Oh well, small steps as they say, or in this case I should say- Lots of Steps!

What am I doing differently besides walking a little more than I used to?

1. Having a whole some breakfast, I know its counter intuitive to talk about getting fit and then say, oh I have a bigger breakfast. But trust me, its helping. I dont know how, but it is, since I am not cranky come lunch time. And above all, since I am waking at an un godly hour of 5:45 nowadays, the bigger breakfast keeps me sane.

2. Finishing off last meal by 7:30 pm. It helps that this week is Paryusan and I should not eat after sun set anyways. But its helping. How- This I can answer. Late dinners = Evil Sin! and Point 1: Heavier breakfasts comes in handy, since well how to say it--I am famished!

3. More water. This is easy for me, since I love water and trust me I can down a lot. But I am now making a conscious effort of skipping my afternoon coffee and substituting that with more water. I have skipped coffee 2 out of 4 days. Hehe! So thats 50% reduction ya'll!

And besides that nothing.

Sumit however is doing a lot more and I am proud of him. He takes most of his meeting walking. He will try to walk minimum 12K. He is trying to substitute all snacks with fruits or smoothies or more fruits. And above all, he is resuming tennis or will walk for his weekly volley ball game or will go and play more basket ball in the evenings.

See, now I feel super bad, since compared to all of the above, I am doing hmm nothing. So I guess him reducing my goal to 8K should be slap on the wrist.

Ouch Ouch Ouch

So the saga of the 'Getting Fit' business continues.

A friend asked me recently, whats so great about 'Fit Bit' and I honestly responded: It shows you what a sedentary lifestyle you lead.