I have a bead up my nose: She did what!!!

Another one of the "Kids say the darnest things' edition with our usual suspect: Little Lady!

Scene: 5:45 am, weekday morning, our 11th Wedding Anniversary!

Mommy hears Little Lady walk slowly in her room

Mommy lovingly says: Come on in my bed and snuggle in!! 💗

Little Lady whispers: Mommy I can't, I had a Mishap (Implying pee'd in her bed) 😓

Mommy consoled groggily: It's okay honey, head to the rest room, I will help you 😒

(She has been potty trained fro a long time, so mishap is not usual, no
big deal, it happens)

Little Lady whispers: Mommy, I also have a bead in my nose 😔

Mommy sprints up from bed and says'calmly': what? 😡

Little Lady whispers: Mommy, I have a bead in my nose  😔
(She keeps a brave face and looking pitiful)

Mommy has a mini freak out and says'calmly': How? 😡

Little Lady whispers: I put it there 😔

Mommy quickly wakes up husband snoring peacefully: YOUR little angel has put a bead in her nose. WAKE UP  😠

Mommy looks up Little Lady's nose with a phone torch: "Hell, it is a BEAD' 😠

Daddy wakes up, calls the doctors office and finds out process of 'almost 4 year old with a bead up her nose'
Mommy picks up the soiled Little Lady and rushes to bathroom and makes her sit down 'withoug getting angry, since last thing momy wanted is to upset Little Lady'
Big Sister aka Chatterbox wakes up with the commotion and comes to the bathroom 'What's going on'

Mommy still speaking calmly: Little Lady has a bead up her nose. 😠

Big Sister bursts out laughing is asuper confused but laughs a lot! 😈
Little Lady is now parked on the bathroom sink and smiling and 'checking herself' out in mirror😇

Mommy 'googles' and finds out that before ER, try the following
1. Have the child blow her nose: Okay that I can do
2. Use a 'nose bulb' and 'vacuum it out': Hmm, how hard can that be
3. Use tweezers to pull it out: Hell no, I am NOT doing that!

So mommy barks these instructions at Daddy and starts looking for the 'nose bulb' which is used for kids under 1 year!!
Mommy is getting angrier and angrier, seriously: bead up her nose! what the hell was she thinking!

In ONE minute, there is a loud burst of laughter from the bathroom and mommy rushes in 😠

Daddy while demonstrating 'how to blow the nose' has 'nosy' all over him and kids are laughing a lot!!!!
Mommy is really  ANGRY now and she stomps off to look for the 'bloody nose bulb' 😠

In ONE minute again, there is loud cheering from the bathroom and mommy rushes in

Little Lady did manage to blow the bead out of her nose!
Daddy and big sister are searching for bead on floor to double check
Little Lady is laughing and smiling since 'she did it'

Mommy is calm outside: "Phew" 😶
and ANGRY WITHIN 😠
In all these past '8+3' years of parenting, I HAVE NEVER SEEN MY CHILD WITH A BEAD UP HER NOSE, WHAT THE HELL! 😠


Morning continued as 'normal', kids were bathed, fed and ready for school by 8! 🙆
Mommy was left bewildered 🙍
Daddy was left feeling like a champion 'Since he helped the bead out her nose' 🙋

Well Happy 11th Anniversary to US! 😂

Life is full of surprises, some good, some bad! You  see the Silver Line and Smile. 

We are blessed to have these kids who can keep calm even when they messed up, a support system which can find things funny even when an almost 4 year announces at 5:45 am

 'I have a Bead Up my nose'

We did manage a Date Night for our Anniversary!

3.5 years of complete and utter joy

Ok, may be some tantrums, some stubbornness, some food pickiness, but with Little Lady, now a

little over 3.5 years of age is complete and utter joy!!

Her name means the 'Peaceful One'!

0-1: That's what she was. Feed her and change her on time, and she is a happy girl.

1-2: The pattern pretty much continued, of course moving from Nanny to Day Care was a bit tough on her, but besides that she pretty much was angelic.

2-3: Shy and reserved outside, but a riot in the house. This totally describer her toddler year.

3- Till Date: Complete and Utter Joy.

A quick update:

Head Strong and her go hand in hand. Once she makes up her mind, there is very slim chance of you changing it. Good Luck is all I can say.

She is now in the 'Why/Who/Where phase' Case in point: If she looks at my what's app contact-

she will ask who is this, why do they live there and ask a gazillion simple questions to keep you on toes.

Daring: There is no slide she won’t conquer, there are no steps that she won’t jump off, there is no adventure she will shy away from. She thoroughly enjoys swimming, but definitely not the class

Musical: Oh my, a lot of our family calls her 'Gud Ki Dali' implying A sugar Cube. And that is true, she is singy songy, melodious and definitely has an adorable sweet voice. Yeah, I should look at some singing lessons for her.

The one thing she is not excited about is challenges when it comes to reading/ writing.

Example: She knows to write 'A' really well so will stick to that and take a while before venturing to a new alphabet. Numbers, haha, good luck having her 'try to write' any other number except '1'. She is definitely not showing any signs of interest in reading as well. Oh well, she will be ready when she is!

Puzzles, Structures: Now this she can sit for a while and do it. She will keep attempting, ask for her but keep at it for a while. She is pretty good at entertaining herself while say: I am cooking/ working etc.

Language: I can go on and on writing about this, she is now fluent in Hindi and English and is ONLY conversing in Hindi with us and reminds us 'Hindi mein bolo' of course her 2 month trip to India with grandparents had a lot to do with that. She has a flair for languages, loves Spanish in school and is amazingly sweet about teaching me songs in it!

Phone & TV. My gosh, this is her true passion, remember point 1: Headstrong. She will argue and make any case possible as long as you cave in for TV/Ipad/Phone. Uff.

Sisterly Connection- They fight, there is no subtle way to put it. Yes my girls are 5 years apart and they fight! Not all the time, they will over  sharing a cookie, a pencil, an Ipad. Little Lady will go and pull Miss V’s hair just because. She follows her ‘didi’ like a shadow but will annoy her a lot as well

No write up about Little Lady is complete without describing her ‘Girly Choices’ She picks out my mom’s nail paints and had her ‘Naani’ change the nail paint color every single day for 2 months. She is all about dresses and couldn’t care less about pants. She will twirl with utter joy and loves to dress up in anything Indian.

Here is where V and Little Lady differ the most!!!

Coming back to 'Peaceful One' I am blessed with two young vivacious girls!

Both of them bring utter peace to my being. And Yes, Little Lady is hilarious, girly, witty,

shy outside the house and a riot inside.

I see her I smile, she has a tantrum, I find it cute, she has a meltdown I laugh!!  I know, bad parenting.. But she is a true utter joy!

I want to make sure I capture this sweet innocence and the person she is now!

The Other side of: ' A letter from a sleep trained baby'

Recently on one of the social sites, I saw this article "A letter from a sleep training baby" I read it and as predicted, I was misty eyed and then common sense kicked in.

I am like, seriously?

Now, I think I am all about: To each their own. Parenting is definitely not 'One Size fits all', you bend, you learn, you adapt. And move on. I very strongly believe in 'You are the best parent for your child".

I have two girls with independent personalities. What I learned with my first, I am unlearning with my second. What I am doing with my second, I don’t remember doing with my first. So even in the same house, rules have adjusted based on the child.

I must add; confrontation and I really don’t go hand in hand. I am happy left sulking and stomping my feet when no one hears. So this post is not meant to hurt anyone, please. To each their own.

I am just sharing the other side of the story,

So here is my "A letter from a sleep trained baby"

Dear Mommy,

I was happy, happy sleeping in your cuddling arms, being rocked, being sung to. But the minute I hit the crib, I woke up not knowing what to do. I would wake up and since I didn't know anything else, I would cry. You would come in my room, try rocking me, I would drudge back to sleep and then again, in a while I would wake up. We did this for a long time. Every morning, I would wake up cranky, since I didn’t get the rest.

I was confused, why did you have the red eyes, why were you not smiling at me though you picked me up every 2 hours the night before? I know you love me just as much!

I was confused.

Now I am not.

When you started the sleep training, I got thinking: What's with this 'routine'? I love the stories you read to me, but what's this new thing? Laying me in my safe crib, kissing me, starting the music in the room and hushing me to sleep and leaving my room. Oh, the music is no nice, and I can hear you just outside my room. I know you love me just as much!

But what's this new thing?

I know I screamed and cried the first few days, I didn’t know what to do! But I like the routine, the knowing what's happening to me. I liked you coming back to my room. I liked the reassurance of knowing you are there. Slowly I learned, no matter what, you are just outside loving me just as much. Slowly I learned how to sleep on my own. Wow, it is so simple and so relaxing.

Now even when I stir in the night and wake up, I can wiggle around a little and fall back to sleep. I dream of the lovely stories you read to me. I know you are just outside, loving me just as much.

When you pick me up now in the mornings, I see your smile back and your eyes light up.  Now, I am happy, rested and relaxed. And oh yes, I have the energy to go back to playing, learning, crawling, laughing.

And I love you laughing with me. I know you love me just as much!

Your "munchkin"

I am proud of you

 As parents say, I wonder if we say that enough, we don’t want them getting too full of themselves, but at the same time, we want to appreciate them for the small and the big things.

I struggle with it, since I wonder which 'mom' I am, 'Good job baby, you are awesome!' or' That was nice, how about we do this next time'

I try to balance it and not 'keep appreciating' all the time. I think I am stern, I get angry, I scold but at the same time, I try to appreciate for things that need it.

Like this one: During dance practice I was chatting with another mom. Her kid just joined Miss V's school and she was telling me about her experience etc.

Though she didn't know my daughter’s name, turns out our kids are in the same year just different classes. What a small world!

So here is the conversation, she asks me: 'Is your daughter’s name V?'

Garima: 'Hmm, yes, how did you know?'

Fellow mom: 'Oh when I went for the school tour they showed me V's books as sample student etc'

Garima: 'Woooh, what! That is awesome'

It was really a good feeling that my child is considered as a 'sample student'. The school thinks her performance is 'worth exhibiting' to prospective parents.

I was happy and proud. Proud of her, she is 6, and I told her the story and ‘Baby, I am proud of you’

She smiled and asked if there was some snack in the car!

Hmm!

Mother of two girls... and?

----------------------------------------- In the beginning---------------------------------------------------

Garima: A mother

People: Wow, congratulations, must be busy and hard.

In my mind: No, its easy, well I don’t know any better, this is what it's supposed to be I guess!

Garima: A mother of one girl

People: Girls are so precious. Am sure she will give you sleepless nights when she gets to her teens

 In my mind: Uh, why? My brother and I both must have given a lot of sleepless nights in our teens. But yes I agree, Kids are precious and my Little V more so for me

----------------------------------------- A few years later---------------------------------------------------

Garima: A mother of two girls

People: Wait what? Wow.

Generally look at Sumit and say: Time to get the second job and bulk up. You need the muscles to ward off boys.

Generally look at Garima and say: Time for the boy, may be third time's the charm!!

In my mind: What!!

My two girls are perfect. When we planned for our second, it was since it felt right for our family(and of course increase chaos), we didn’t even find out what gender the baby will be- goes to show, we didn’t care: Boy or Girl! So yeah.

Please, my kids are perfect to me and family is complete. If we do have a third kid and if that kids a boy, great and if that kids a girl: even better, I have a load of hand me downs already.

Kids are expensive, yes we know that. Trust me! But that does not mean my darling husband needs a second job, trust me we thought it through before we went down this path of parenthood. And bulk up?? Seriously?

I don’t think my dad was peeling boys away from me when I was in my teens. Bulk or no bulk, I was just fine and so was my dad. And I think my girls and Sumit will be fine as well.

Now gist: Phew!

It's a natural thing to ask: Two kids, boys or girls?

And then I would assume it's a natural thing to say: Good for you, can I see pictures? Let me know when I can meet them?

And if you ask, drop them off and head out to the movies..... We LOVE it!

And then move on to the next topic.

Why does us having two girls give us collective gasps or even hearing double trouble! Seriously?

 We live in 21st century right? Let me check the date again! Yes we do. So please Butt Out

Hong Kong- First Impression

Walking around the streets on Mong kok and exploring the city with nothing else but a camera, water and a map is liberating.
I am in Hong Kong visiting Sumit. So while he slogs in office, I soak in the city completely. V is with her grand parents and uncle in India getting pampered and minus being miserable every other hour since there is no one troubling me with incessant "why's", I am enjoying the city.
My first impression of the city- which of course I will say, begins at the Airport is "Wow" this is plush geen. The landing strip really feels like you are landing on water.... the strip extends on to reclaimed land, and what you see are mountains, sail bots, misty clouds all around you. Breath taking. Trust me, not what I expected at all. Once you are out of the airport, the weather hits you, with its complete humidity, heat and 'OMG' ness. But you love it still.
The drive from the airport to my hotel- in Mong Kok was amazing. There is the sea/ocean on one side, tall mountains on the other. Untill the driver takes the exit, you wonder, where should I look, this side or that.
Mong kok itself is what I though it to be. Streets flanked by stores, Chinese and Cantonese food, street vendors, jewelery stores, lots of people in a rush and a lovely hotel welcoming you to the air conditioned space. Our room being on a higher floor, offers breath taking views of the city.
In the evening I went over to the Hong Kong island/ Central side, met hubby after a couple of weeks and we got chatting, hugging and saying: "wow, we miss V so much" hehe, trust me, first words out of our mouths. We were to meet some friends in SoHo. (Doesn't every city have a SoHo now!!!). The Lan Kwai Fong is amazing as well. Since I was in the after office time, the bars, pubs and restraunts were buzzing with people catching up, relaxing and enjoying. We had delicious Mexican food in SoHo. Yes, we are awesome that way, come all the way to Hong Kong, and my first meal is Mexican. But, with us being Vegetarian, I was really apprehensive about trying Cantonese/ Chinese or local food without some research. But the food was delicious, quantities plentiful and company even more delightful. I met my friend, after 15 years. Yes 15 years and it didnt feel like a day had past. It was so nice. So while we squared nachos, and licked the Gauc, we realized that the place was now shut and the owners were making not so subtle gestures that we better leave. Hehe, good times.
My first impression of Hong Kong was, "Such a mix and match" I cant figure it out if its fast, slow, natural, man made or what? I will figure it out.
But let me say bye for now.. and get back to reading my 'Lonely Planet' guide to figure out where to next. ... Keep you posted.

And yes....this is the first vacation without V by my side. It feels weird, though I am liking it, I didnt realize, I will miss her this much.

Baby... will see you soon, real soon.

For you... pictures will come, promise, but in a bit. Till then hoping you enjoy the lengthy travel memoirs...

In anticipation of weekend-

For V’s birthday... Sumit got her a Mickey Mouse Baking set. A complete set with tray for twelve mini cup cakes, pre mixed frosting, cup cake mix, sprinkles, Spatula, measuring cup (all with Mickey art).. the whole deal! I have been wanting to use the set for a while... now that the Birthday celebrations have subsided, I am planning to use this Saturday afternoon with V, in putting the baking set to good use.
Yes, I was am way more excited about it than V currently is. The cup cake set even comes with liners of Mickey! I mean come on, what’s not to get excited about. I shared the plan with a dear friend, She awwed and said: "Mommy- Kiddo bonding time"
And I smiled and thought... hmm.. So true.

One of my most vivid memories from childhood is cake bakes I did with my mom, the icing I fought with my brother to lick for and above all placing the "Gems", Tutti Fruity, Mixing colors in icing, using cake pens, and trying to make the cake look all pretty.
Growing up, for all our birthdays, mummy and her best friend K Aunty (My fav. Aunt), would get into planning mode and Eggless cake had to be made. Two... one for adults to pretty up and other for the kids- My brother and I to 'pretty up'. Mum had a collection of heart shape, round, teddy bear and numerous other baking pans. They mixed and matched different pans to make different shapes; I remember a teddy bear cake made with three different cakes, a butterfly cake, a three level cake, a boat cake and so on. They are creative!
The day of the baking was the most fun. We, the kids were given the task of mixing the flour with the condensed milk and the other stuff. In those days, electric beaters, whippers were not so common. I remember stirring and stirring and competing with my brother, my batter was smoother. Then, mum would give us the icing to mix. She and K. aunty would put all the ingredients together and we mixed. We licked a lot in the middle, loved the smell off the Vanilla Essence and countless other things. Yes, we got scolded for not washing hands between licks, for dropping the spoon, for not leaving enough icing to go on cake. But they smiled, and Mum and K. Aunty involved me completely in the cake bake process.
Bhaia and I were just happy licking/ mixing the icing. Mum and K. aunty would put the cake in baking. The mixing bowl was for us to lick! And we waited! Patiently, I must add.
They decorated the main cake. The second cake- was all for kids to decorate. I loved it. I remember one heart shape cake, K. aunty gave my brother and I one side each, so we don’t fight. We competed to get the 'our' own side prettier!
I know, this time when I go to India, I must dig for those cake pictures.

As I wait now, for Saturday to roll around and get to my first baking expedition with V where life is way simpler: I will rely on pre-mixed stuff, the oven will not conk off in the middle, the cake will not go bad! The electric beater will do the smoothness, the bake spray will ensure no stickiness, the sprinkles will flow freely through the containers. I know there will be a mess, licking of the mixing bowl, falling of batter and so on. But hopefully fond memories that V and I will create together over an afternoon of 'cake bake'!

SD thanks for a wonderful gift for V.. and for me.
Mum, K. Aunty...I will miss you both a lot this Sunday as I try to recreate history, this time with your granddaughter!

After effects bliss!!!

It was a super charged, super active and super emotional day for me.
We celebrated V's second birthday. I can only imagine how hard it would have been to sacrifice the play off's for a kiddie party! I am sure waking up for a brunch on a cold Sunday morning can be hard. But they came. Kids enter a whole another domain on the cake-sugar high.. but was amazing to see them play together. Friends and family under one roof.. with cute party hats.. and even funnier blow me outs. No better way to celebrate V’s two! V was sleepy at first.. and was back to being her old jumpy self as the day progressed!
As i was making my round of introductions to friends with each other; I realized often saying- Oh we went to high school together. Oh, them; we went to undergrad, masters together. We know them for so long. We have met recently but seems like we know each other forever. We are meeting after so long, but seems like not a day has passed. We may not meet as often as we’d like, but we always compensate for lost time… And so on.
As i did all this, i looked around the room and realized everyone was gelling, making new acquaintances, catching up with old friends, playing with V and over all having a good time. SD and I were missing the rest of our families, our friends back home and our friends spread around the country, friends who could not make it........ at the same time, we were very happy to be surrounded with friends and family for V's special day.
I often consider myself lucky to have been definitely blessed with such good people around us. They showered V with love, affection and blessings. They helped us lay the party together, wind it off.. and make it fun. With my brother here now, V was jumping from mama to one uncle-maasi then to another and then back to mama! She was fully pampered, rightly so!
Yes, I am knocking on wood as i type each word! I have said this many times on my blog... parenting gets a whole of fun with such wonderful people around us! V makes it simple for us.. and then the remainder we have the help of family, mama, maasi's and uncles for. Oh yes.. and definitely the cool aunt(s) she has!
Thank you guys.
SD and I were overwhelmed for once.. and are proud to say it as well!

Crossing of the boundary!!!!

SD and I share a common passion with the outdoors, with socializing and with anything that involves having a good time. We love to do all this with V. By now, she is used to meeting all our friends, she is getting used to being picked up, being pampered and doted on. Above all she seems to enjoy it as well!
After having V, so far we have been successful at striking a balance between toddler activities and things we like to do
. The following is a very common day in our house: Day will be the zoo, evening will be the park, and once V is asleep and being watched by her grandparents, SD and I head out, for plays, for friends, for lounges, for the "grown up" stuff as we tell V.
This weekend, very sadly, I mixed the two. For the first time in two years and have been super guilty of it!
There is no other way to say this but that SD and I enjoy a good game of poker. Our winter weekends are well spent with friends who share our passion! But, there was a golden rule: We play only when V is sleeping or napping.
For a lot of reasons, yesterday the game started when V was awake. It was fine, we were at a friends and V had her play dates she loves to hang out with! She was super cool; no troubles, was happily eating, playing with her toys, her play date and singing merrily. She was oblivious of the fact that a bunch of adults were on the poker table and really hoping that the kids’ don’t come and read out the cards!
Of course she would come to me, if something was not right ="the toddler toy phone not opening, She was not sharing her snacks with her play date and other similar toddler troubles" And yes, I would tend to them. Would resolve the conflict and would get up to fix there snacks, wipe the mouths, hands, feet, and be back in time to make my "check/bet" SD would the same as well.
But I was torn; though I was on a roll, and winning my hands. As our friends said: "The distraction with her helped my poker face" I was at the same time not engaging her enough. Yes I would tell her be right there, but then I would wait until the flop and then rush to her.
So you get my evening, I was torn in my own pleasure and my amazing toddlers play time. Even though I consider myself a good multi tasker, so far I have not multi tasked with V's play time with my play time. (Yes the laundry, dinner, cleaning doesn’t count as multi tasking with V time! Wink!)
Phew, Don’t judge me, I did get her changed, did her bed time routine and put her to bed per schedule (Yes, in the middle of the game!) Thank god, our friends are super awesome and understand this! But yes, I did feel and am still feeling the guilt of messing the golden rule up.
The sad part is, I can’t say, something similar won’t happen again. There will be super bowls, walks, plays which will need this crossing of the "play times". I have to let go a bit and realize that she is growing up as well and does not need the constant engagement. She may actually enjoy reading her book by herself sometimes.
At the same time, I have to understand that with all the hard work SD and I put in during the week, its okay for us to enjoy our "grown up" activities with V awake. I don’t become a bad parent just because I let her be with messy hands for an additional minute.

Or at least that’s what I am telling myself

With a twist!

I have been writing weekly on this blog, there is no theme to it, just whatever moved me, whatever troubled me and above all, whatever i spent time thinking and pondering over... But for the entire last week, i didn’t have the inspiration to write. Writers block of sorts... We did do a lot of things- had friends over, went to friends houses, Took V to the fountain, the pool went for the long walks and of course the July 4th fireworks show. But still no inspiration.. and then suddenly out of my bi-weekly meeting with my boss! and tada! i have an inspiration!

My boss is an expectant first time mother. Like all, she is elated, excited and very anxious. She airs the same, and kind of looks at us "new" moms for words of inspiration. Amongst other things, i told her that before the due date- sleep a lot, watch movies, go to plays, go for walks, go to fancy restaurants and do all the adults only activities feasible with a protruding belly ;-)
She asked a simple question- why, don’t you do these things still?
And i thought- well i do! I still do, then why was i making such a big deal of it?

Hmm, i think its just the difference with a toddler in tow. SD and I still spend a lot of quality adult time together, and we do all the toddler friendly activities V should be doing. We still go for the walks, the restaurants, and now that we have help at home, we put V to sleep and try going for concerts and movies. Hmm, all activities are done but with a twist!

At a concert, we would call a couple of times at home, to ensure V is sleeping, and all is well. Though we are out with the friends with fancy clutches in hands, my hands misses the strollers. We will go for family dinners and carry enough spill proof cups and crayons and activities to keep this toddler occupied for the 2 hours long dinner. She is a good kid, but we don’t want to take any chances and have other adults stare at us or the older folks looking at us with disapproving eyes!

We will visit all our friends and host lavish parties at home, but there is enough non-spicy food for the toddlers and always an additional blankie if the little one decided to snooze.

We still sleep-in on weekends... with a different, SD and I take turns! One day i will have a late morning, and during this time, he will be up feeding her breakfast and playing with her and then the next day, i will be up sooner and he will be snoozing! This way both working parents get there fare share of lazy time and one on one V time!

So, i guess we do it all- with a twist!
And we love every minute of it..there is nothing stated above that we would like to change or alter.
So when i discussed this with the new mom to be, we both smiled- there is hope! And the i ponder- Its funny, the famous quotation goes: "Grass is always greener on the other side." But when a girl becomes a mom, and a couple become parents- the greener side is always on your side, the gleaming toddler eyes, the child like innocence in their laughter and the adorable mess all make the parents pastures green.. and yes with a twist!