Half Yearly Report

School’s have ended, summer has almost started and kids have hit their ½ year mark, the grand parents pampering has begun… so as always… here you go.

Miss V, the decade old lady with the wisdom of a century old person and the sassisness of a 16 year old!!!

This past school year she switched schools. So though she is adjusting well academically, musically and sportingly.. it has taken time to adjust socially. She has a lot of friends around her new school, she laughs, she cannot get through the corridor without the hellos and good byes, but she misses the deep friendships. And that's where her wisdom kicks in, she knows it takes time. So the wise lady says... lets be patient!

She calls herself a "Ten-Ager" now and that's actually true. Times she is a baby and will snuggle and cozy up and deep meaningful conversations and then there are times she gets all sassy and unreasonable and says "shut up" and gets mean. The dichotomy!

At times she will sit with her little sister and help her with math and challenge her to speak backwards and contrastingly, they will fight over "which lollipop is more pink!"

Miss V a list maker, a planner and her toughest critique. Being your own critique makes very driven- she will keep at it until it’s done! She will also get equally frustrated at times in the process. She is now realizing that the world is not black and white and hates that!

With the world cup now on, there is only ONE discussion for my budding Soccer Superstar!

The Conquerer

Little Lady:

I wonder how I put this nick name for her, she is true for it- Little Lady. She is a charmer, a pleaser, head strong and amazingly caring personality. Her empathy often leaves me dumbfounded and awe stricken.

Her latest obsession is with hair- my hair specifically. She will patiently braid my hair, play with them, and comb them. On a school day, she demands different hair styles for school and has gotten "better" at eating vegetables since I told her- it’s good for the hair. But to be clear, she still is a VERY slow eater.

Can I brag a little? She has started reading Harry Potter- I am not sure she comprehends it all, but has started reading it with ease now! She was Dorothy in her school production of "Wizard of Oz". From the shy kid to her commanding the stage is so amazing.

Oh man, remember head strong, oh well, she is a cute head strong. She knows exactly what she wants and will bat her eyelids, throw in an extra hug and get her way and you won't know what hit you! Ohh- and she can bike now WITHOUT Training wheels

Little Lady

Summer is here now in Chicago and we have sort of compressed them- We have hit the beach, plucked strawberries, drenched in crown fountain, biked Lake Shore, shared picnic in the park and even BBQ'd!

Half year mark has been wonderful and I am excited for the next 6 months of these little wonders until I start the Birthday Planning Cycles.

I heard at a comedy show recently: "The only person who you can love unconditionally is your children" and that is so true.... no matter how annoying, messy, clumsy these girls get. To me, they are MY perfect little ladies!

Chicago Summer

It feels complete

I keep calling her my baby, my munchkin, my coochie coo and all the terms of endearment that mean 'cutesy baby'

She reminds me politely  (most of the times) and generally with shrugged shoulders: I am not a baby anymore.

She thinks she is a Big Girl.

In all due honesty, with all her achievements in the past few months, she is a matured 5 year old. If I could say the two things in one line.

In the past few months, she has flown to and back from India ON HER OWN as an unaccompanied minor. She relaxed in her summer vacation of 6 weeks sans her parents in the amazing and nurturing company of her naana- naani. She has travelled through India meeting people, going to parties of my parents, playing with neighbors kids in the park, speaking in Hindi, learning Marwari, forming even more opinions and basically doing all this ON HER OWN.

And yes, I cannot say this enough 'I am proud of her'. The pilot on her return flight approached me in the arrivals lounge and said: "You have a wonderful daughter. She was so well behaved and fun to talk to. She had a good flight"

I was in tears- Happy Tears

She has been back a week and I still gush. I still go and give a peck on her cheek just because. I still manage to raise my voice on an unfinished glass of milk, to realize, gosh I missed this commotion. Her incessant 'Mummy why, mummy this, mummy that' feels like the new normal. And I say-  Gosh, I missed this.

I could see coloring books and pens strewn around the house. I could  see her stuffed animals left on our bed. I could see some hair-eating, I could see some tantrums. I could hear her non stop questions. I could hear the foot stomping when things are not going her way. I could see her being her!

But I dont.

I see a house lived in. I see a 5 year old who is wise beyond years but reminds me every other minute, I am still a five year old.

I see a family.  

But yes, I could use 5 minutes of silence from 'Mummy why?'

35 years!!!

It’s my In law's 35th Anniversary Today! Wow... Congratulations to them.
Though we will be not be there for celebrations in India! I am sure, they know we are there smiling and cheering them along.
Knock on wood, I am blessed. I have a good relation with my In-Laws. I have utmost respect for them and they adore me as well.
Since we live here in US and they in India, in the first few years of marriage, except phone calls, occasional Skypes and our busy trips to India, I didn’t really spend all that much time with them.
But right after we had V, my in-laws came to US for the first time. We spent a good five months together. Needless to say, before they came, I was a bit worried. How will I manage? Hope they still like me after they spend so much time with me. Hope I don’t become one of those- really uptight bahu's and honestly, I was scared. Since it was the first time of the entire family was going to under one roof.
Most of my worries went out the door very quickly.
They were the sweetest, very understanding and a whole lot of fun! My FIL would spend hours just playing with V. Telling her stories, rhyming poems and all this while, the four month old V would just stare at him and may be smile. He would wait patiently just for that one smile. My MIL is a fabulous cook. She completely got our 'quest' for healthier eating and would cook up the most amazing oil free paratha's. When I would return from work, before I could even put my bag down, our tea would be ready. We both would sit enjoy tea, chit chat and I would play with V.
Both my FIL- MIL are like a well oiled machine. Both have their own share of health complications. But they stand by each other strong. They get each other. Every time, I would try to 'cook' something special for them, my MIL would remind me.. oh your papa does not eat this or that. Every time I would plan an activity with her, FIL would tell me her preferences. It's very different for our parents generation- I don’t think I have seen them or even my own parents hold hands in front of us, or say I love you! But the care they show each other in small and big things is amazing. Actions speak louder than words!
My In-laws would know how the other would react in a given situation. For example- Taking FIL golfing with Sumit and his friends. My MIL said, oh he would love to try it out. And he did. Asking Papa- will mummy like Pasta. He said, as long as you spice it up, she would love it. And she did. After 35 years of togetherness, they completely get each other.

Papa, Mummy: wishing you a Very Happy Anniversary and hope you celebrate decades of togetherness!!!

We love you- Sumit, Garima, V!

To gift or not..

Valentine’s day is coming to town.. la lala la…. Hehe.. Ok, so SD and I don’t technically celebrate this day! I always find the restaurants pre-booked and too cheesy and too "red" for our taste. We try to have a simple but a memorable evening. A delicious meal indoors. Lots of sweet gestures to make the day memorable! And oh yeah, a gift!
I know, its a Hallmark Day....well marketed.. well crafted. But come on.. it doesn’t do any harm does it?
Though if you ask me what we did last year for V-day, I have no idea! I think we got V some cute red t-shirts.. and baby stuff! The one before.. hmm yes that one I remember. It was right after we had V. SD surprised me by coming home early.. got a lovely gift and amazing dinner reservations. It was our very first date after we became parents. He got a very cool watch for my mom as well! And for V, we got her- guess what: "Baby's first valentine" Bib. Original I tell you! ;-). One year, SD was travelling and came home later in the night. I had cooked up a fancy dinner at home; which included cute heart shaped cutlets, and S and G shaped patties. (Don't ask!) I was all dressed up in my amazing Blue Saari for the candle light dinner… technically fireplace light dinner ;-). I know one year I got a cute box of chocolates, which when you open it, plays a love ballad. Chocolates were eaten promptly and V loves it now; it’s her favorite play box!
So now, another Valentine's is looming.. and I know the sweet gestures, simple dinners etc will all follow. But I really don’t know what gift to get. And I don’t want to say.. no gifts necessary! Because they are! :-)
SD is not a big gift giver (!). Well per his standards he is, for a greedy me... he is not! So I will make him sweat it! I know I will! I will tell him, I want a gift, and he will have to wonder what! For V it will be easier.. I think I already know what we are giving her…a new book: Potty Training! (It counts … yes it does!) Ok fine, we will get her something cute! Now back to my husband SD- gosh!!! What do I get for him?
Electronics, Perfumes, Personal Accessories, Clothes, Shoes, Miscellaneous: WHAT?
If I get something for the house as his gift pretext. Its not fair! If I get something for us; realistically, I will be using it more! So what do you get for your husband.. as a surprise.. which he might not need, but you can create a need for it. Should be usable, easy to store (!) and definitely enjoyable! And his face would become child like and his excitement will be felt in the room! Advise please!

And SD... too bad, since I blog, I get help on your gift.. you still have to hunt and hunt for mine!
Or may be.. this year, I will go easy.. and actually just relax and enjoy the day! May be a lovely walk in the park will be perfect........hmmmm... Naah! Gift please ;-)

What a movie will do to you... or wont!!!

And yes, this post is not about 3 Idiots or Avataar..the latest talk of the town! It’s about a lazy evening being transformed into either a super nice evening or a super boring one by the choice of a movie, Confused? Ok.. let me explain.
Our re-sleep training with V is going on pretty well now. This means, after dinners, her sleep time, next day preparations and winding down for the day…. we have our late evenings back to us! V sleeps and we enjoy our weeknight laziness. Its a win-win situation!
After the holiday cheer died out, parties ended and work began as usual, all SD and I wanted was to curl up on the couch and watch a movie. And nothing better than a good movie or a good book!
So, come Monday night, I get a DVD from a friend who said movie is so-so but amazing graphics for an Indian film. So, we said lets give it a shot, needless to say, within 30 minutes, after 4 useless songs, some repeated action scenes.. and oh yes, bikini blazing babes.. yes its an Indian movie.. Nothing had happened! 1.5 hours into the movie.. the story has not moved an inch. So I gave up; I just couldn't take it any more.
For me a bad movie, is one of the things which makes me cranky.. yes in addition to hunger, lack of sleep and mess!
So i call it a night.. too irritated to even stop the movie and watch something else or read!
Tuesday night, this time SD recommends a movie. It’s again a Hindi one but about a more realistic one about match fixing etc. Ok, sounds good. Let’s try. It was pretty much a repeat of the night before. The only difference being, SD thought i was liking the movie, so he kept watching it. And i was thinking, he might like it, so i will watch it. Midway, SD and i burst out laughing realizing that we both hated the movie equally. Once more i crash early.
Third night... SD had to work late, while he was on the computer working away, i decided to go for a HBO on demand!! A Chick Flick! Finally! Third time's the charm... I kept giggling and oohing and aahing in the movie. I would catch SD shaking his head vehemently at the cheesiness.. the chick flicki-ness of it all!!! But i could tell he was sorta enjoying it as well. I was happy watching a decent movie with SD. Only catch; SD was busy working.. while i was enjoying my late night coffee with a girly movie!
Only thing missing was a couple of my girl friends and nail paint to call it a perfect "girls night!" ;-)
I finally slept peacefully, and was not annoyed by the directors, the movie guys or the audience at making crappy movies.

And oh yeah, happier at reaping the benefits of V's sleep schedule! Come on; I deserve some slack!! ;-)

Happy Anniversary to us!!!!

Clichéd yes.. But its true.. Feels like yesterday, that we took the vow of spending the rest of our lives together! To cherish each other, to stand by the other in times of sickness and health, in times of pain and in times of happiness and be with each other no matter what.
And yes, may be i am a convert to a hopeless romantic- I don’t believe i am said that out loud!

It is our wedding anniversary and i reminisce. We have come a long way from long phone conversations, long emails and even longer chat sessions, from frequent flight to cross country drives, to blissful married life!
Here is why i cherish this day, and why it is so special to me. Besides it being the day i got married!
Like most girls, growing up, i dreamed of my knight in shining armor on a white horse to come and whisk me off my feet and take me away. Luckily for me, it literally did happen like that.
I remember the evening we got married. He was dressed in beautiful gold, silver, slight pink slight blue shervani with glittering jewels all over and riding a white horse. (Its customary in my part of the country that the groom comes on a horse!) He was walking down the aisle covered in red roses, while i walked in from the the other side, the demure bride in gold, silver and deep pink gorgeous attire. I had the funny knot in my stomach. The minute i looked up, the moment was much more than what i had imagined it to be. For us, the world stood still, our family, our friends were besides us experiencing this moment with us.
It was just perfect.

We are building our lives together. Each day is special, each glance is cute, each argument is well taken, each gesture is thoughtful! Every minute is well spent. Our daughter V is a heaven sent gift. She makes us into kids one minute and adults in the next and then kids once again. Needless to say i am enjoying our role reversals very much. There are times, when i would see SD read V's books with much intent. He would see me playing with V's stuff toys.. and of course V would be with our blackberry's and laptops! You see 'role reversal'.

On our anniversary, i confess, on this day, there is always the same funny knot in my stomach. I can go on and on.. But i wont. All i can say is Thank You: To support me when i fall, to encourage me when i am down, to appreciate me when i achieve, to listen when i am angry, to lecture me when i am wrong, to love with my flaws.
SD..... Thanks for being who you are; a wonderful husband, a doting father, a caring friend, a naughty kid, a dutiful son, a family man, a comforting cushion, an ally, a spy, .. and above all.. being my 'bubu'!

Its a wonderful adventure.. and i am sure it will continue to be one. Yes the path, is hilly, its up and down, its curvy and its stable. But hand in hand, i know, we know... It will be perfect.
Here's wishing us a very Happy Anniversary!

Alone times or Lonely times..

There are some couples I know, who love to do everything together, work, activities,
Shopping etc. I have never seen one without the other person. The lady shakes her head off every time we recommend a girls only night. She said, what’s the need for that, let rather go out with the guys.. Hmm! The husband seems to enjoy it as well. Seems always anxious to be around the spouse and so on. When I first met them, I found it cute. I still do!
I don’t know if I can do that. SD and I both love to do new things together, do something the other one enjoys, and cherish others company (I mean we got married for a such reasons!). We both have learned to enjoy the others interests; for example, this year i am looking forward to the football season.. to cheer along with him and enjoy the game nights. He actually watches some of my favorite series. I have tried my hand at golf.. and he is going to very soon try the jump! (Rolling eyes!) You get the idea, as couples we do stuff together even if it was not our primary interest. But at the same time, i cant imagine doing everything together.

At a recent do, SD asked a friend of ours to join him for Sunday morning golf and added he had already hit the range on Saturday morning. The girls oohed and aahed and looked at me:” Are you okay with this?" I was thoroughly confused: "Him going out for golf.. hell yes". Someone chimed "But two days in a row!" And I said- Hmm.. why not. Conversations changed quickly. (Thankfully!)
But it got me thinking, does it make me weird by not wanting to spend every weekend minute with him. By not objecting to his weekend golf rounds. (In my mind, I am already relaxing in the play area with V and singing our songs). Of course there are times when I have asked him to not go out for cricket or golf.. just cuz i wanted him around the house, or just because! But more often than not, I love it when he is out for the sports which he enjoys. Why not.
He does the same, encourages me for my girl night outs, my cooking expeditions (Yes once in a while.. all i want to do is cook some hearty meal on a Saturday morning!), shopping trips (which i am sure, he thanks my GF's profusely for!) or may be just me wanting to be snooze...while he takes V to the park. Bottom line, both of us enjoy our time with other activities.. and not necessarily together!
It doesn’t mean, we don’t miss the other person! So far, luckily for us, we are completely okay doing something without the other person. It can be as simple as curling up on the couch to read a book, while the other is out. SD calls it "lone time". Rightly so.

In my naïve years, someone once told me, if one looks for alone time in a relationship, it’s headed for loneliness in the long run. As a couple, one must be ready and willing to spend all the time together.
Now, I am not so sure about that... It might be love evolving . To each there own, I think it perfectly fine to be doing everything together, something’s together whatever adds the spark in the relationship, whatever makes you wink after you are all dressed up to go out, whatever makes you smile when you see the other walk though the door!

Enjoy your time at golf, spas, dinners, drinks, bowling... Whatever together and separately…but make sure to share stories... Its always fun for me to know if SD's team kicked ass in cricket ;-)

Follow Your heart...

Hmmm... No this post is not one of the mushy-mushy ones talking about following the heart for the right man/woman... it is more practical, more real and definitely still very personal: It is about following the heart for a profession.
All our growing up years, we were told by parents, teachers, and others we cared to listen to- "Follow your heart in your choice of work and the money will follow! If you chase money, you may have it, but not the satisfaction of work!" Ahem!
Is that true? Some of us are in the beginning of our careers, some in our formative years, and some in settled years and some "can’t wait for retirement" years! Whichever phase we are in- are we following our heart in our work? Are we doing something for the passion of it or the comfort (and may be money) in it?
I really enjoy my profession, and am pretty good at it. But per my qualifications, Ii should be a lab or a research project working towards developing wireless sensor technology for expanding commercial use!
But I am not. I am far from it, but I am in the field I really enjoy! But yes, in the long run- my heart lies somewhere else; alas its still not wireless sensors! I want to be doing something else, and tell myself time and again: What I do now, is a path of security and building up the base to do my own thing! Luckily the path is something I enjoy a lot as well… Hopefully soon will do my dream job!
So in some ways, may be I am not following my heart. Though, I am very passionate about my work.
Luckily for me, I was not forced into any degree or profession. My parents gave us independence and support to choose our own path, do our thing and become our own person. And yes, hence until recently, I was the only one in technology in a family filled with financial geeks! ;-)
Some are not that lucky: I knew someone, who was forced in engineering by his parents, but his heart was in fashion. He was really good at that. Another dear friend, who wanted to be in financial side of the world but forced into engineering. Almost ten years out, guess what she is doing- Financial management. She did follow her heart. I knew some, who were studying there course just to make parents happy or to get graduation degree. They knew the minute they have the diploma, they will be joining the manufacturing plants, diamond trade, teach, trade, whatever else. Then there were the others. I very close friend of mine; for the fifteen years or more that I know her, always wanted to be an architect. She is one now; she is following her heart, her passion in her work. But she always jokes:" I am still waiting for the money to follow!"

I do understand the fact that this is "real life" and one can either follow the poetry side of life or the prose side of it. For me, right now, I am on the prose side. The safe, secure, less risky path! I bow down to people on the poetry side, which is following the passion, the heart, the more (much more) risky side. Sadly, I know few (Very few) people like that.

In this "real world" Is there something like: "Follow the heart and money will follow?" Are you doing something because you love it or is it means to get you somewhere else or you are doing it for the security it may bring. Mind you, none is bad! It’s the path we have to choose in this very "real world"!