Candy Coated Hell

This is a term I heard on the Radio when the hosts were describing the post Halloween frenzy with kids. And I burst out laughing in the car: " Candy Coated Hell"

It is sorta true if you think about it. Ever since the kids are little we talk about, no sugar for the little one, please. I have seen my own two girls first hand with sugar in their system and their reactions. Yes my friends: 'Sugar High' is an actual term.

I have seen them running in circles after 2-3 chocolates. Friends and I have popped pop corn and laughed uncontrollably!!! Yes, you can mail me the “parent of the year award”!

"Candy Coated Hell"! It is an accurate description of our media filled lives... Its bright, its smiley and its happy, all the time.

The adults version of "Candy coated hell”: is filled with varying degrees of schmooze, perfect profile pictures, that one angle that makes you slim, the one strand coving your face to make it look natural, the one dress that accentuates, the kids trophies that adorns the walls... like I said its bright, its smiley and always happy!

But ask yourselves: Is it true?

Behind every 'angled picture" is years of beating yourself for gaining weight, not loosing enough and the confidence or lack of it that goes with the drama

Behind every 'kids trophy picture' is you hiding your own "not so kind moment" with the kids when they really pushed you over the edge.

Behind every ‘schmooze’ is the contrast of you rather being in bed with un-ending runs of Netflix.

I'd rather be here: 

Recently I got invited to a "Black and White Challenge" on facebook, concept is simple: Upload a black and white image with no humans just as you go on about your life, tag someone and do this for a week.

Capturing these black and white images made me think a little more..... what image can I capture for today that is raw, that is true and that is far away from this candy coated hell that we live in, we thrive in and we enjoy in!

And of course filled with hypocrisy, I upload the image of the day on social media after making it "perfect". You are welcome

Self-Exile of a different kind

With our Costa Rica trip in early April, like all holidays/ vacations, I happily signed myself out of Facebook, unchecked notifications on my emails and basically 'unplugged'

 If you have not noticed yet, I am still in Pura Vida mode, so relaxed and comfortable.

So on my return from Costa Rica, I decided to stay logged out of Facebook. Meaning, no access from phone/ laptop/ I-devices. You get the idea. No facebook for a month.

(I cheated twice: Once to check message's for a friends postal address and once to message a friend my postal address).

Besides that, I have no idea what's happening on Facebook.

On the contrary, I have a very good idea on what's happening with my friends.

Life is still going on, with a little bit more time on my hands. I have read a bit more- one and a half books, three magazines. As you can see, I have blogged more.

And long behold: I have actually called friends and chatted about what's going on in their lives as against understanding from their facebook status.

I am lazy on phones, by the time the day is over (Read: Kids in bed, errands finished), I am done! Any energy left is well spent on catching up on Game of Throne's episodes.

So me calling, has been really good-for me at least.

Of course, I stumped my friend recently, she was like, didn’t you know about abc, I posted on FB. I was like, I actually didn’t. And then we laughed and I got 'updates' in real life.

So this 30 day-self exile actually worked.

I am thinking, may be I do want to continue this self-exile. Trust me, its tempting to log in and post this blog there. But going on FB to blog about not being on FB, hmm, not so much.

My realization: It is not all about 'being in'. As of now, I am not feeling left out. I am sure there are countless pictures/ posts/ status that I would have 'liked/ commented' But you know what, I like this quietness.

So may be, until the urge of an addict comes back, self-exile to continue.

Photography has ruined travel. Has it?

The title from the CNN article was enough to make me stop and read it. And then read it again, think about it, process it. Hmm 'Photography has ruined travel' one line I smirked about was 'My memories are framed by the 2x2-inch blurry screen of my camera. Not once did I look up to see the fish with my own eyes. '

It has happened to me before. Most recently in Scotland, I was so busy taking the right picture of the pony and my daughter feeding it the cut apple, that I can’t remember her squeals of her laughter. True.

Has photography really ruined travel? I don’t think so. The first thing I pack on a trip is our camera's (Point N Shoot & SLR) with their chargers. I need a camera to capture the moments. I often sit on our couch on go over the pictures from back then and smile. They are hundreds, but I still enjoy them all the time. I need my pictures. For myself. For refreshing the memories made, relishing the chocolate cake, smelling the coffee, reliving the laughter, everything. Pictures make travel and experiences more memorable!

Having said that, Yes, I do hate the Iphone/ smart phone cameras. Don’t get me wrong, I use them all the time, but somehow they don’t qualify as 'pictures'. They are just a log of activity done.

Anyhow, the other thing the article also touched upon was 'googling about planning a trip'. Hmm,  Guilty as charged. It generally starts with a Wiki search, followed up by travel reviews, some blogs and so on. One hour gone.

But that’s when it stops. Sumit and I then go to the library, get a travel book, be it Frommers, Lonely Planet whatever. But get the book, read it, mark it and then based on our 'antiquated research' plan a trip.

This is then followed up by finding the 'deals online' for travel, accommodation and what have you. Plan, Find, Book. Enjoy!

On a trip itself, we have often being condemned by family, that we are cut off. Guilty again. Emails are checked very rarely, Facebook, not at all, phones only for incoming urgent calls. Rest, it’s the trip, us, laughter, relaxation and of course the camera. And yes, the smart phone left in the car for the hikes.

What about you? DO you agree with the author that photography spoils the travel itself? Do pictures aid your trip, or do you say ' I have to snap this and put it on Facebook'?

Next, How do you plan your trips? And if you are backpacker.... hmm, when is your next trip? Count us in!

One post in draft for the longest is @facebook: Is it like high school all over again? But being on FB and enjoying it a lot, I hate to bitch about it. So the draft post, stays in draft a bit longer! Your views?

It’s been three days- come on!

What are you serious.. you haven't checked facebook in three days! What!
Yes.. all sarcasm, ooh's, and cheekiness included!

But that’s what I experienced a couple of evenings ago. Life has been busier with impending deadline at work! So stress aside, i was really enjoying any moment away from the computer! Which also turned up implying... no facebook? Besides going on FB from my blackberry during the elevator in between meetings or nature calls! I just did not have the time!
At home, my limited evenings were spent with V and daily stuff and then I wanted to be the farthest away from a thing called: Computer/Laptop/Netbook/iPad and all variations of technology. TV is fine, thank you very much!

The fourth day... however, I wanted to relax, read a few of favorite blogs, comment, check up the latest shoes, stories and the like! And oh yes, by all means check FB! But to get a computer at home, meant engaging two grown up men in the war of "Give me the laptop! You have been on it for XXX" With two laptops and three adults active on the lovely machine, well.. besides snatching it away.. there is little you could do! As I put forth all lame arguments to the “machine hoggers”...every thing fell on deaf ears.. and then I used the 'bhramastra'..or the magic words: "I haven’t checked FB in THREE days, come on!"
A fit of laughter ensued, a couple of disapproving head nods, and the looks exchange between the boys! And I was red faced! These two guys- mind you.. are not FB people! One is on FB but barely logging on.....and other refuses to acknowledge its existence!
But with this, I finally got the machine! Super excited, since I thought I would be on it for at least a couple of hours! It's been 3 days, come on!
But... all my checking, replying to my wall, updating others.. and re-connecting and seeing tagged pictures and albums.. and ensuring "All Izz Well" was done.. I was done in 15 minutes! Here goes my couple of hours plan. I thought!
Of course, I was in no mood to return the laptop to the machine hogs.. so I wrote this blog! ;-) In the process, I made a realization.
If I did have the time during the week- I would have been on FB everyday say, for 15 minutes... So for four days = 60 minutes. But I got the same stuff accomplished in 15 minutes. Implies in one fourth the time!
Now, Only IF I could use a similar formula to make my work for impending deadline get accomplished in 1/4th of the time and effort~

Anyways, I said to myself.. let go a little! Let me cure myself of this addiction - the FB kind of addiction! And 'Live a little'. All the self assurances lasted one full day- 24 hours!
I just got my own swanky machine (Yippiee!)... so now we have three adults, three machines and well no more arguing over whose task is more important. Last night, as I on my new superfast machine, checked news, and other stuff.. I kept trying not to type 'www.facebook.com' But alas, my fingers were not listening to my mind! It was really not my fault, before I knew it, I was back on it! Damn... so now I ask for help.. "FB anonymous" anyone? Hello......... Any takers??

PS: It just might be a good business proposition as well... VC's any one wants to invest in 'FB Anonymous" ?

"Power of connection” Well the FB kind!

I have been on FB for a while. Actually just over six months now. Friends arm twisted me into getting there; and someone has to pretty much body twist me in getting me out of there. I caved in and followed the trend and honestly I am loving it. I check in from time to time on FB, on what my friends are upto; what’s the world thinking today, what’s the latest grapevine; and yes.. follow the fad: The latest... raise breast cancer awareness by posting the color of your bra! WTF! Yes.
I logged in the morning and I kept wondering what’s with the facebook status of colors man. Why do i see, pink, red, white, black; and then I check my email! Aha! One of my girlfriends sent me an email.. Write the color... like your girl friend's status and tell the 'sisterhood!' That’s exactly what i did! Cute, catchy way of raising breast cancer awareness, i thought!
And then came more colors... and then came all guys responses.. cheesy, trying to be funny and some horrific: Here are the examples:
"Show me, dont tell me!".. followed by "How can we be sure of the colors mentioned on fb; please send pics ;)".. followed by "Doctor recommends, purple, blue, black".. and others like.."Lacy or not!", "I have colorful friends" and so on!
In less than twelve hours... the network had articles all over explaining what's going on. A word Slacktivismwas coined.. and used very well in this context. There were enough debates and discussions about it. There were people being super inquisitive, super funny and super embarrassing... But point was: The word spread.. People did speak about breast cancer awareness outside the doctor's office or out of hushed conversations in the corridor.
Yes, there are other ways of raising awareness... but as i told a friend of mine; by far.. it is the funniest and the most inexpensive way that i have seen.
A very close friend's mum had breast cancer. Thankfully, she is doing well now, but she told me, it was only due to the self examinations which her daughter forced her into!
A lot of people still don’t talk about it openly and I get that... It's personal! But i do bow down to the power of “FB” connection, in talking up one issue so close to the "sisterhood" that it made people stop and take notice.. And in their own way.. Spread the word!
And yes… agreed… the color has nothing to do with the awareness… but the cause has.
I don’t know about the origins of this, who started it, it might have been a sicko who is now smirking in delight; or it might have been a simple idea which gained global.. well Facebook momentum!

Oh by the way... Cancer is the number 2 killer in US. And 15% of cancer deaths are due to Breast Cancer! And i didn’t know it, until i researched for this post!

For once, i was okay with sharing just a bit too much information!