New Age Parenting ??

We are new age parents

And yes, I am sure all parents in their generation would think the same. So it does not make us unique, but still i like to put myself on pedestal from time to time.
I will continue.

We are new age parents.
We want to be actively involved in our kids lives, the PTA's, the classes, the play dates, the tucking in nights with the hugs and kisses. We want everything.

We want a career to reach the stars, the board meetings, the late night presentation preps, the work happy hours, the high heels to go with it. We want everything

We want a social life, the late evenings with friends, the occasional sans kids date nights, the crazy fun home parties, the dressing up for key milestones for friends and family. We want everything

We want a healthy lifestyle, the home cooked meals, the fresh salads, the occasional gym memberships, the soccer games with the kids. We want everything.

We want to reflect inwards, go to temple, do the meditation, learn about self calming techniques, the folding of hands with gratitude. We want everything.

We want to give back, be it volunteering, removing the weeds from a national park, packing food, donations, associated fundraising etc. We want everything.

But something's got to give. Right?
We still get the 24 hours in a day. We still continuously juggle and prioritize and make to do lists and make spreadsheets to keep track. We still struggle and some balls inadvertently do get dropped.  As 'new age parents' some days are good and some days are blah.
Is there a way to get this "Mysterious Balance" in the life of new age parents?

Hmm, I wonder.
May be not wanting "Everything" is a start. May be continuously adapting to life's priorities. May be making peace with the fact that we are not going to be balanced!

Is this what is New Age Parenting?
May be our parents had it right.... keep it simple and go with the flow and instill the value system. Rest will follow!

She has the music in her... Little Lady is 5

She loves rainbows and unicorns and Sparkles is still her favorite color!

She is spirited beautifully, is such a happy go lucky kid, smiles, laughs, lights up a room and above all gives you tonnes of hugs and kisses and peeks in your room to just say "I love you"

Yep, that's my Little Lady turning 5!

Her charms..At a soccer game, her team mates run behind the soccer ball, and My Little Lady, skips and then kicks the Soccer ball and twirls in delight!

On a coloring sheet, my little Lady hums a song (making it up along the way)and colors the hair of the princess pink!

On a phone call with India, we chat, we share stories and pictures with grand parents and the little lady takes the phone and starts singing a song, why? Just because!

I think its fair to say that this little lady is keeping us on our toes and off our chairs! Why you ask, we are giggling all the time with her and at her!!

Little Lady: You are 5 now.

My baby,

Year after year, I try to capture your 'updates' amongst all the fun that ensues as a family.

You are 5

Food: Oh man, your one BIG issue. Yes, you will try 'almost everything provided is not green' but you are VERY slow eater. I have asked you to go to bed without dinner since no timers seem to work on you. One thing that definitely gets you excited for food is presentation. If it looks 'awesome' you gobble it down right away

School: You are blossoming in your new school and I love that you just go in school skipping and are always complaining at pick up time that I picked you up too early! You have become an avid reader and in your break, you amazed us at sitting in your bed and just reading all the books, chapter books.

Dance: My gosh, the music in you. You loved your Indian Dance class and I cannot tell you how proud I am of you for dancing in front of a hundred people at your dad's birthday! Ballet, I love your passe and you love your ballet outfit more than the dance for for sure

Sports: Remember the skipping at soccer, well that's you. Ice Skating, you have been at it for about a year, but I think you like chatting with your friends more than the ice skating for sure. Let's try gymnastics next year, what do you think?

Love: You are affectionate, kind and above all very observant. You complain if we dont hug you before school or at bed time. You are happy soul and a very content sole (No contentment when it comes to candy/ sweet stuff though). I think of you and it makes me smile, since your kind heart makes me want to be a better person also

Reading: My gosh, what a difference 4 months in this new school has made! You are reading voraciously, you are writing pretty well and you can spend hours on your laptop and play games, play puzzles and above all sing yourself merry!

Yes 5 is a milestone and we are celebrating in 5 ways
(Especially since you have been bugging asking what we are doing for your birthday for about a year now)
1. Your surprise trip to Disney before your birthday... gotcha!!!
2. An upcoming surprise trip to a Waterpark (Shh!!!)
3. On the day of, dinner to your favorite restaurant with your favorite people and painting your toes
4. A daddy-daughter day on your birthday!
5. And your party with your friends, i am thinking Unicorn & Rainbow themed!



Phew, yes turning 5 means 5 special celebrations! But more importantly turning 5 means:
1.  Be yourself, always
2. Be kind as you already are

3. Be the goofball you already are
4. Please eat and not just candies!
5. Be 5, be a kid, scale the mountains, swim deep waters and twirl just because!

My Little Lady: We love you!

Match the socks

I am sure it’s true in your household- you do laundry and somehow you will have orphan socks! Socks with no pair! You will collect them over your never ending loads of laundry in a pile and then after a while, one of two things happen

Option 1. You just trash them thinking there is no hope of ever finding the pair.

Option 2. You employ your kids and they play a game of 'match the socks'

So recently, over a lazy weekend, I employed by 9 and 4 year old to play the game 'Match the socks'. I handed them a big bag of mis-matched socks and I came back in an hour and smiled. The socks were sprawled out on the rug and the girls were working it! They lined them up, matched them and then sorted them by owner of the said socks!

They matched over 35 pairs, yes 35 for the 4 of us! Who knew?

Mission Accomplished! We still have some orphan socks which will have to wait until the next lazy weekend!

I pause: We were doing fine just without these 35 pairs of socks. We had clean socks (on most days) and we were doing fine.

I wonder: Without even realizing, do we get trapped in having more than we need or we can consume?

We joke amongst ourselves, a trip of Costco is always a couple of hundred dollars, a sale at the store results often in more t-shirts than we had planned, a grocery trip results in overfilled bags and so on.

Recently we went through a big round of purging, we donated boxes and boxes of things, threw out a tonne of stuff and streamlined living. In retrospect it was very little!

After the game of ‘match the socks’ I requested the kids- let’s give away one stuffed animal per kid from their collection. Surprisingly, they didn’t flinch, each kid chose a stuffed animal, and they kissed the animal good bye. Away it went in the box of donation!

Yes, That easily.

So I am taking inspiration from them, Less is sometimes definitely more.
 I can make simple choices.... use what we have, share what we have and above all, match the socks right away!

Travel Diaries: Leh Laddakh- Trip of a lifetime

Truly heaven on earth! This is probably one of the hardest travel posts to write, words really are hard to describe this place which has such contrasting and breathtaking landscapes. Be it tall mountains, vast plain lands, wide lakes or serene views, this place has it all.

I have to start by saying- we all flew in from all over the world to Delhi to take this one week family re-union and a trip. My parents, the four of us, my brother's family all 9 of us spent a week in Leh & Laddakh and definitely made memories of a life time.

We were guests of the Indian Army, a family friend is a Colonel of the Indian Army stationed in Leh & Laddakh. Thanks to him and his entire team, we had a great trip and above all found a respect for the Army which we as civilians really didn’t think about. A separate post on this ishere. Thank You Indian Army!!

Here was our Itinerary in short, and detailed posts will follow slowly but surely!!! Stay Tuned

Day 1: Just acclimatize

Day 2: AM: Choglamsar, Shanti Stupa; PM: Hall of Fame, Pathar Gurudwara, Magnetic Hill, Sangam

Day 3: Chang-La Pass, Pangong Lake

Day 4: Shey Palace, Rancho School, Thikse Monastery, Night stay at Chumthang (which might be hard for non-army visitors) so please look for either driving up to Karzok

Day 5: Karzok, Tso Moriri and surrounding

Day 6: Enjoying the drive back, Hemis Monastrey, double humped camel ride, local Leh Market

Day 7: Fly Back

Here is a quick glimpse of why you should be excited

India's Daughter

Yes, yet another Media Mention of the infamous documentary  India's Daughter.

When I sit to write about it, there are so many topics that come to mind, Poverty, Lack of education, Gender inequality, political media censorship, patriarchal society, judicial system, women safety and yes, Rape.

So instead of talking about all, I choose none. I will talk about how it all relates to my experiences growing up in a middle class simple Marwari family.

My maternal grandfather was a historian and a freedom fighter. He got married really early and has a family of 6 kids. 4 boys and 2 girls. My mom grew up in a small UP town and he mandated, 'My daughters will study'.  My maternal grandmother, not educated herself supported this and wanted the independent young girls in her family. She supported her older son's wife entire education after marriage. My mom did double MA (Masters of Art's). Much against the society norms in the 1950's 60's.

My maternal grandparents are a typical Marwari couple, conservative and yet very progressive.

My father, is one of 11 siblings, comes from a very simple and modest family of farmers. Having lost his dad at a very young age, he tells me stories of how much resistance he had to fight against him studying. He got support from one of his siblings and completed his education. His is the story of studying under street lights, living in cramped quarters with roommates and being focused on one thing: Education. He saw most women in his small town Rajasthan being house wives, girls being married really early and no support structure for women. But my mother tells me tales of my paternal grandmother, widowed really early brought up the 11 kids independently. This and my father’s education broadened his horizons and his perspective. His one hope for his kids: Education.

My parents form a very progressive couple. Growing up, they had similar rules for my brother and I. We had the same opportunities for education, lifestyle and extravagance. My brother now is an entrepreneur and as for me. I am an Engineer with a Masters in Engineering from one of the top 10 school in US.

But this story is not about my brother or me. 

It's about the foresight of our grandparents and parents. They didn’t follow societal norms. They followed the path of 'What's right'. They had a vision of their own family being educated, being equal and being independent.

I am sure they dreamt of having their kids in the best possible jobs, businesses and with happy families. And that is the best part: They thought of 'Their Kids' Not just sons! Kids.

The year of extremes, the dramatic year

2104 will be that for sure: The dramatic year!

Thankfully nothing extremely bad, but enough to take stock of life and count your blessings. Thankfully everything good was very very good.

On one end we were hiking on Volcanoes, swimming with fishes, dancing at weddings, engagements, road tripping, chilling with family and on the other extreme: we had couple of ER visits, car accident, calendar blocked with just medical work, more medical work. I have had MRI, MRA, CT and all poking and prodding possible. There has been lots of work stress, stress related injuries and in general just one day high, other day low moments.

But its me, its me always trying to look through it all for some silver linings.

The kids stayed strong, they massaged my aching arms, and they kept chirping around, they made the stress disappear. And for those blessed evening and weekend hours we get with them, all was forgotten and smiles ruled.

We danced a lot, we sang a lot, played a lot of games, colored, ate, cooked. Bliss.

Sumit, my partner in crime stood by me. On one hand he was making ice water bath for me and on the other hand he entertained the girls. He took care of both girls un-interrupted, flew alone with them and made me feel completely at ease. I can't imagine anyone making me laugh away the pains the way he did. He encouraged me to take another sip of water with 104 fevers, he cheated me in another round of exercise for the arm.

I guess timing matters, through my worst illness, my mom was over for her 'just like that’ trip. And it was perfect, well the illness not as much. I fell ill 4 days after my mom arrived. So for those three weeks, I was clueless about everything around me. It was my mom and my husband doing everything for me, the kids and the house. Everything functioned well and I am thankful for them for being around.

My parents, brother and sis in law gave all the moral support I needed

I guess through the thick and thin, it made me take stock of some friendships & some relationships. Some I called sobbing to in the middle of the night, some I just could not even pick up the phone to. Some stood through my weak health moments and others made it a conversation point. I renewed some friendships, made some amazing new ones and some I am letting them slip by. It hurts, but it's fine. So all in all, I think facing the not so good helps to see you more clearly.

For all of our trips and vacations this year, I happy to say we had a lot. I am content. Yes, you read that right, I am content, there could be no more, no less vacations. It was amazing reconnecting with cousins, planning, meeting friends after years, some after days. We travelled a lot and it makes me smile.

It's our thing, travel, travel with the kids, make them have memories of a lifetime and above all, chill and enjoy the moment.

But the year of extremes: I am done. I want a simple event free healthy year. An average year would be just fine!

 I am happy for 2015 to come, I am happy for the new beginnings, I am happy to say adieu for a year dotted with drama and happy memories.

Mother of two girls... and?

----------------------------------------- In the beginning---------------------------------------------------

Garima: A mother

People: Wow, congratulations, must be busy and hard.

In my mind: No, its easy, well I don’t know any better, this is what it's supposed to be I guess!

Garima: A mother of one girl

People: Girls are so precious. Am sure she will give you sleepless nights when she gets to her teens

 In my mind: Uh, why? My brother and I both must have given a lot of sleepless nights in our teens. But yes I agree, Kids are precious and my Little V more so for me

----------------------------------------- A few years later---------------------------------------------------

Garima: A mother of two girls

People: Wait what? Wow.

Generally look at Sumit and say: Time to get the second job and bulk up. You need the muscles to ward off boys.

Generally look at Garima and say: Time for the boy, may be third time's the charm!!

In my mind: What!!

My two girls are perfect. When we planned for our second, it was since it felt right for our family(and of course increase chaos), we didn’t even find out what gender the baby will be- goes to show, we didn’t care: Boy or Girl! So yeah.

Please, my kids are perfect to me and family is complete. If we do have a third kid and if that kids a boy, great and if that kids a girl: even better, I have a load of hand me downs already.

Kids are expensive, yes we know that. Trust me! But that does not mean my darling husband needs a second job, trust me we thought it through before we went down this path of parenthood. And bulk up?? Seriously?

I don’t think my dad was peeling boys away from me when I was in my teens. Bulk or no bulk, I was just fine and so was my dad. And I think my girls and Sumit will be fine as well.

Now gist: Phew!

It's a natural thing to ask: Two kids, boys or girls?

And then I would assume it's a natural thing to say: Good for you, can I see pictures? Let me know when I can meet them?

And if you ask, drop them off and head out to the movies..... We LOVE it!

And then move on to the next topic.

Why does us having two girls give us collective gasps or even hearing double trouble! Seriously?

 We live in 21st century right? Let me check the date again! Yes we do. So please Butt Out

Unnecessary Glorification

You know how it is, there is one good article/ one picture and it gets circulated. A Lot. on facebook, via whats app, via mail, via e-anything. So a simple picture becomes 'Glorified'

 Here it is.

 I saw it, and was very uncomfortable, but I let it go and didn't 'Like' it. It comes up on another Media outlet and before I know it, that one day, I see it every where.

And I kept growing more and more uncomfortable.

 And here is why

 To me, the picture signifies the following

1. The lady has a smile on her face while multi-tasking.

Seriously show me one person who can handle all the stuff without whining. Kids or no kids. It is unrealistic representation of a person. It makes it seem its okay to do all this and if you are not smiling- Shame On you.

 2. She looks more like a sacrificial lamb to me.

It makes whatever the lady is doing 'single handedly' look OK. And I want to stand up and shout. ITS NOT.

3. The guy below the lady has a 'Exclamation' on his head.

Seriously?? What is he amazed at how much the lady can do? Is he amazed that he has two hands which are useless. What?

It's images like these which seem regressive to me.

Yes on any given moment, like all of us, I wear multiple hats. May be of a parent, a corporate executive, a girl, a cook. But so does my husband. How about we create an image to glorify him? The father, a co-parent whose work generally goes un-noticed or un-glorified!

It's images like these which seem like they are judgmental.

I don’t think I do half of the things that a 'good mother' is supposed to.  I think I have ironed Sumit's shirts a total of 3 times in our time together. Does that make me a bad wife? 

I think not.

It's images like these that I NEVER want to show my girls. Never

A Date Day is as good as a Date Night

 Recently with the Columbus day holiday, it was perfect. Both Sumit and I had days off. V was to be in school and Little Lady with the nanny.

So we could do one of two things: Either finish off all the projects for the home and errands that have piled up and we have not been able to finish due to work. Alternatively, movie afternoon and no not in the house, but in the theatre.

Needless to say, responsible us chose the latter.

We chose the perfect time, after a heavy, delicious breakfast at home we headed out for Movie Number 1: Gravity 3D. I guess i had high expectations from the movie. But holding hands, enjoying pop corn and hiding in your spouse's shoulder when the meteor comes flying on you is perfect.

After the movie, I was famished. I needed food, so some unhealthy movie theatre food later.

Movie Number 2: Captain Philips. I loved loved loved this movie. It was chilling, real and oh my, Tom Hanks was fabulous and so were the Somali Pirates and so were the scenes and chilling reality of the seas. I was shaking even after the movie.

Yes, we did two movies back to back, such Date-Days come rarely for us, so we try to maximize them. Else date nights, needs a lot more planning- We need the sitter, V to be prepped and explained to why she cant join us. Little Lady to be fed and in bed and above all by the time we are out, we are generally super tired. So days are better, sometimes.

Back to our 'Date-Day': We then rushed to pick up V from school, rushed to come home to relieve the nanny earlier and then picked up the litte one and headed for a family night: Dinner outside. - No one in our family says no to Indian Chinese!

 A perfect date: Time spend reconnecting, laughing and sharing a common theme- Smile.

I think WE have figured out this parenting thing

Honestly, I think Sumit and I have nailed it.

 And here is why:

 V, my 5 year old wakes up middle of the night wailing and sobbing.

The dad aka Sumit just walks to V's room, asks her to throw up 'properly' and then like machine work- puts every piece of fabric from her room in the laundry. He opens the windows and sprays in the room freshener.

The mom aka Me doles out of bed, cleans up V, asks if all is well. She then gets water for the kid and herself. Hugs and says it’s okay to sleep in mummy-papa's bed tonight.

 And then the perfect family just goes off to sleep, like nothing happened.

It’s another Monday morning of Business As Usual.

This makes me think, we worked like a well-oiled machine and I think we have figured out this 'parenting thing' until next throw up of course

And yep, that’s exactly what happened last night. At Midnight.

35 years!!!

It’s my In law's 35th Anniversary Today! Wow... Congratulations to them.
Though we will be not be there for celebrations in India! I am sure, they know we are there smiling and cheering them along.
Knock on wood, I am blessed. I have a good relation with my In-Laws. I have utmost respect for them and they adore me as well.
Since we live here in US and they in India, in the first few years of marriage, except phone calls, occasional Skypes and our busy trips to India, I didn’t really spend all that much time with them.
But right after we had V, my in-laws came to US for the first time. We spent a good five months together. Needless to say, before they came, I was a bit worried. How will I manage? Hope they still like me after they spend so much time with me. Hope I don’t become one of those- really uptight bahu's and honestly, I was scared. Since it was the first time of the entire family was going to under one roof.
Most of my worries went out the door very quickly.
They were the sweetest, very understanding and a whole lot of fun! My FIL would spend hours just playing with V. Telling her stories, rhyming poems and all this while, the four month old V would just stare at him and may be smile. He would wait patiently just for that one smile. My MIL is a fabulous cook. She completely got our 'quest' for healthier eating and would cook up the most amazing oil free paratha's. When I would return from work, before I could even put my bag down, our tea would be ready. We both would sit enjoy tea, chit chat and I would play with V.
Both my FIL- MIL are like a well oiled machine. Both have their own share of health complications. But they stand by each other strong. They get each other. Every time, I would try to 'cook' something special for them, my MIL would remind me.. oh your papa does not eat this or that. Every time I would plan an activity with her, FIL would tell me her preferences. It's very different for our parents generation- I don’t think I have seen them or even my own parents hold hands in front of us, or say I love you! But the care they show each other in small and big things is amazing. Actions speak louder than words!
My In-laws would know how the other would react in a given situation. For example- Taking FIL golfing with Sumit and his friends. My MIL said, oh he would love to try it out. And he did. Asking Papa- will mummy like Pasta. He said, as long as you spice it up, she would love it. And she did. After 35 years of togetherness, they completely get each other.

Papa, Mummy: wishing you a Very Happy Anniversary and hope you celebrate decades of togetherness!!!

We love you- Sumit, Garima, V!

From Left to Write Book Club: The Kids Are All Right

The title itself is appealing: The kids are all right. As I was reading this book, different emotions stirred up inside me. Some scary, some relieving and some very very close to real life. If something were to happen suddenly to me.. then what. It re-instates the discussion that SD and I have been having for awhile. Let’s make sure our papers, our wills, our accounts etc are in order. Both of should know where is what in terms of the bigger things in life. Scary thoughts, but very realistic. We both call it symbiotic.
The book talks about an uncle who just turns and becomes greedy the minute the father is gone and wants to lay his hands on anything and everything possible. Hah.. it comes down to money. And I don’t want our life's earning to go to a random stranger while our kids struggle to make ends meet. We are sweating our blood over work to ensure better future of our near and dear ones.
The beauty of the book was in the part: The truth is always twisted. Every person of the Welch family remembers the incidents based on their memories. It’s there truth and its twisted for the other person. So true.
SD and I talk about this very often. I always say: There are two sides of every story. This book talks about that: how four kids cope up with sudden demise of the father and then the mother. They turn out to be all right. They turn out to be closer and though life was not what they had imagined it to be.. things have a way of working them out.
Recently, I was reading Lakshmi's post about her health and the fall which was not so pleasant. One thing which struck out to me was... She only talked about the silver lining. It is very true, in every situation, there is a silver lining. We just miss it.
In the long run, everything happens for a reason and its always for the better. A lot of times, it just takes a while for us to realize it truly was for the better.
This book re-instated that.

I received a free copy of this book as part of the From Left to Write Book Club. We write posts inspired by the books, not reviews. When you read this book make sure to keep the tissue book handy. Trust me.

Acad versus Artsy

Recently I was talking with a friend about two different day care programs and approach. He went to research two schools with very similar background but completely different outlook.
One school focussed on creative arts and music. The other school focussed on academia and music.
The first school, taught the ABC's with art projects. The kids would draw or color and Apple and know that A is for apple. They would sing the "A" song and learn the sounds of the alphabet. The other, would show pictures of Apple, Ankle, Ant and relate it to real life. It would instill 'A' sounds like "aa" and then the kids would learn to recognise the alphabet. And then both schools would move on to the next alphabet.
The kids in both school seem well rounded. Probably the kids from the first school come home more messy thanks to the color overflow! But teaching the same thing in pretty different approaches.
As we both discussed pro and cons. We were both at a loss which one is better. I studied in a very academia focussed system. I did have paint, dance and sport classes as well. But still the focus was math and science. The friend of mine put it aptly..... untill 3 years, all the fun and frolic is great, but after 3, the kid needs to learn the way of the world.
I was a bit taken aback. Though, I still understood his point. One always wants the best for the kid, let the kid explore his best fit, but then there are norms or what you think are norms for the kids. You tell me, which conversation will go better: Oh my kid can add single digit numbers, or that my kid can draw entire beach scene.
Is three the new threshold for learning the real stuff? Art is an expression of the creative mind. The brush and the paper has no boundary. Academics is the best gift a child can ever receive.
I am at loss. My daughter V is coming close towards the threshold age! I probably will face the same conundrum soon- The Art way or the Acad way! Or may be.. I can figure out a way for V to have both.
Which route would you take for yourself, for your kids, your cousins.... does it really matter?

It's going to be different this year!!!

And it dawns on me... thanks to slick advertisements on TV and grocery store with cards, and baskets and me getting emails: this deal that deal for this day that I know Mother’s Day is coming.
One evening, while seeing one of those cute (cheesy) advertisements for mother's day, I asked SD: So when is it this year? He was as clueless as me. And yes, in all fairness, I am as clueless about Father's Day as well. I am sure the slick advertisements will tell me.
I googled, and now I know: May 9th. Perfect, Sunday! I could head for brunch with family. SD could get me a card, V will definitely have an art project and a lovely gift waiting for me. I will call my mother and mother in law, and wish them. And maybe I would write a mushy post after about how great the day was! On how I got pampered; or how, I could sleep in and not worry about a thing.
But wait a minute. I am fine if it turns out to be just another lovely Sunday. I will be fine cheering for SD's cricket game or getting up earlier to cook up V's favorite breakfast, or head out to zoo! It could be more than what Hallmark dictates it to be. Don't get me wrong, I love hallmark Day's. No harm done is my take.
Remainder of the year, SD will continue to volunteer to help clean up dishes. V will shower me with unexpected kisses and cute one-liners. My mother’s will mean as much as any other day. I will still consult my mother on OMG, How to I store this. Or ask my mother in law, how to cook this! They will be equally supportive. SD will continue to do his bit to support my crazy endeavors, stepping up to let me chill with my girls or simply be him and cheer me along. My friends will continue to help me out when I really need to shower or just pee and V needs to be fed!
So you know what, every day, is a mother's day for me.
Hmm, so may be, this year, I will reverse Mother's day meaning. It might just become a day, when I thank all the special people in my life, who help out in big and small ways to make me a better person, a better mother and happier self! Yes, that's going to be my mother's day gift to others!

Brunch at my place, while they put their feet up and relax, I thank them for being wonderful to a confused mother through the year!

Daddy's Little Girl

Bring your child to work day... how exciting right?
I was in a bunch of meeting, smiling at the young girl doodling away, while her dad: My colleague and I discussed important work issues. I can only imagine the thoughts of the little kid at a place her daddy went every day!
As a kid, I don’t remember having a Go to work day. However, I do remember walking from school to my dad's office on humid afternoons once in a while after basket ball practice, just so I didn’t have to take the bus home and oh yes, see my father sooner.
I would tidy up my mud covered school uniform, enter his corner office. Air-conditioned office. Which you would know means a lot after walking a couple of blocks in afternoon Mumbai heat. What a relaxing office! I always wondered how he got any work done with the constant calls, running from one room to other, answering questions and dictating his notes to his secretary. And in the middle of it, how could he ever focus while his office over-looked the lovely Arabian Sea!
But I enjoyed watching him work. I admired his resilience, his passion for work and yes his constant questions to me: "Not bored, right?"
I liked going to his office for two reasons: One, avoid the afternoon mad rush in a bus so I can get a lift back home in the air-conditioned car and second to get pampered. The minute I entered his office, he or his secretary would offer cold drinks, sandwiches, chips. Anything. For them, I was a little girl who always smiled and proudly showed her report card. I think. But for me, they were amazing people; very hardworking, always wanting to pat my back and of course ensuring those three to four hours in his office were full of entertainment. Well, as much entertainment as office walls could provide.
But honestly, I never did exactly understand what my father did in office until much later. And may be that little girl doodling in meeting room would not either.
At the end of the day, both of us-me and the doodling little girl are the same. In awe, in admiration of our dads and super excited at the treats his colleagues offer us. We never will understand why our dad's had those limited bad days at work as they were surrounded with wonderful views and lovely co-workers, meetings which meant meeting more wonderful people, working during the day and no homework, and oh yes, endless glasses of soda. Did I mention no school uniform!
Ahh! Can I go back in time, and go to his office once more as a little girl, asking for club sandwich with ketchup on side? And this time, I promise I won’t be a slob and finish my homework on time!
Office: Is a child's fascination and an adults reality. But it’s the perspective that matters right!

Aah... Perfect Evening!

How I wish, every evening is as perfect!
I was out of office on time, picked up V from school on time, was home on time! You get the idea: Per schedule.
The rest of the evening... just got better.
Over making ships of oranges (Don’t question the creativity of a two year old okay!), and playing with strawberry fruits and arguing over who got the bigger piece, V and I finishes our shares of the daily afternoon fruit (Yay!). My family was returning from out of town and all I wanted to do was a cook a simple home meal (And still make it lavish = Rice, Curry, 3 Vegetables, Fresh Chapatti's, Salad, Snacks!) Yes the whole deal!
See it’s not everyday you get to impress your dad that, I can cook more than just Italian or Mexican! This was my turn!
To keep V engaged and not disturb digress me while I cooked, I did the next best thing: V, Mummy needs help! In less than 1.5 hours, the entire dinner was ready! Yes, Thanks to V's help! And no.. Its not called Child Labor! Come-on.
I was happy, V was excited, since she was a big girl helping mummy in the kitchen. I had my 'aah' moment! Clean kitchen, Dinner ready and V and I still had better part of the evening to play! And that’s what we did. Over games of blocks, puzzles and reading her new favorite book, I caught up with her day. V was done with dinner and bath, before SD knocked on the door!
I was thrilled. Smooth and easy evening I tell you! Only wishing every evening was as smooth! Come on, we can wish right?
Have I bored you enough with the details already? Ok. I will get to the point (Yes, there is a point!). I am almost out the door to pick up my parents when I realized! uff No Roti's done for SD yet! So in less than 2 minutes, Yes 2 minutes, I made perfectly round, soft Chapati's! SD was floored.. hehe.. and more than that I was! 2 Minutes! Round! Soft! Perfect!!!!!
Point is: I am boasting.
And on my drive to the airport, all I kept thinking was.... aha! That was quick! Icing on the cake to a perfect evening... My family enjoyed the meal, they even went as far as saying, it was delicious! It totally reminded me of my perfect family dinner.
You see... I am very under-confident of my simple cooked meals! So it’s a big deal for me!
Sadly, didn’t get to snap enough pictures!
The only flip side of all this was a blasting head ache I woke up with. May be all my self-gloating got to my head!

For the joy of it...

Recently, I re-discovered my own long lost passion of reading. Sadly, its not as frequent as before, but i am trying to continue
March, is the National Reading Month and it’s only right to spread the word. The benefit of a lifelong reader and above all the knowledge and discipline gained is priceless!
Growing up, reading for me was my school books, academic related and may be some "Chacha Chaudhry" An Indian comic book. But that’s it.
Once on a trip, a friend introduced me to Archie comics, I loved them. I devoured them. In school, our librarian would encourage us to read the Enid Blyton’s, the Noddy books and so on. Honestly, I read them only because I had to! But slowly and surely, I got more and more engrossed in books. I got faster and more experimental in my choices. Medical thrillers, Lawyers stories and mystery books fascinated me. With a library opening right around the corner, I joined and would go in at least bi-weekly and issue books. With a good friend, we traded books. She would read Betty Mahmoody and I would read Jean Sasson. We both would brag and then exchange the books to get the details. And my passion grew. Sadly, I didn’t read as many classics! A very dear friend had read Sense and Sensibility at fourteen. Wow!
With SD, our collection of books and passion of reading grew even further. Though, we both don’t get as much time now, we still manage to read once in a while.
So far, it seems V is following our foot steps. We take her to a store, grab a book from the shelf and for the next twenty minutes, she will be on the trolley turning page after page. Of course, she isn’t reading yet, but books, the pictures and story engages her. I was surprised that in a toy store, she left the doll she was playing with it, the minute SD showed her an Elmo Book! At home, she will happily go to her books cubby, get her book out and grab her Naani, Mama, SD or me and say Story Time. If she is a bit fussy for food, I tell her, Read a book and she will happily run to her chair, eat and listen to the story and the pictures that go along with it. SD and I love to get her more books. Her grandparents send mythological books from back home. We read to her, she follows the story and enjoys it and asks for "More!"
I remember my MIL's honest confession a while back "When you would read books to V when she was five months old, I thought it was foolish. But now at seventeen months, when I see her respecting the books and enjoying reading and being read to, it was a wise idea" A close friend of mine, a mom herself, advised me early on, "They are never too
Young to be read to"

I really hope, we can continue cultivating the seeds of reading and passion for books in V. And yes, it is hard for a toddler to sit and read for fifteen minutes, but you have to make a start somewhere!

My Naani and her love for Education

My Naani and her love for Education

I come from a simple family, a Marwari family.
My maternal grandmother- my Naani is a very simple but a very strong woman. She herself was not educated, I think till 4th or 5th grade. She got married very young as well. When she was in her teens I think. My Nana amongst a lot of other things was very supportive, a humanitarian and an open mind. My Naani had kids at a very early age. 6 total 4 boys followed by 2 girls. She always tells me, Your Nana and I were too young to realize any choices, for us it was a way of life. Everyone around us followed a pre-set path of life: For girls, Grow up, get married, enjoy a fulfilling family life. For boys: Study, get into business, get married and reap benefits of a beautiful family. Simple. She didn’t know there were schools for girls, since in the small town she grew up, there were none.
However after her marriage, she moved a bigger town. And realized what she had missed out on. My Nana, to be helpful would teach her to read and write. My Naani, is very intelligent and very religious and always striving to learn. She used the newfound love for books and read about religion. She learned at the same time that she was teaching her kids. She was sure: "So what if I didn’t study, I will ensure my kids will!" All 6 of her kids (Boys and Girls) would study. And all of them did. They excelled. All 6 of them, graduated. First in the community! One was an engineer, a lawyer, an accountant and so on. My mother did her MA in political science and was a topper. The extended family raised an eyebrow, told my Naani often: "Oh, your daughters will never get married, they are so educated". My Naani would listen and not get affected. My nana would smile and say, well at least they have wealth of lifetime: An Education. My mother and her sister got married- yes without dowry of course and to very qualified and highly educated men. The extended family did shut up!
My Naani never differentiated between boys and girls. Same rules applied to both. When her eldest son got married, the wife was not a graduate. My Naani supported her studies. Post marriage, her oldest daughter in law completed her graduate and post graduate degree. My Naani took care of the family, the grandkids, the kids and extended family. She wanted to have her kids be focused on the core things: Education, Religion, good Virtues.
My mother takes after my Naani. She found support in my father who is much more educationally inclined. My brother and I were raised with a very similar philosophy. When I told my parents about my inclination to complete my masters in United States; they say: It was the proudest moment for them. Once again, extended family was unsure: "Sending unmarried girl to US- only calls for trouble. She will be over educated! Get her married and then send her. What if she marries a Gora!" To all this, my Naani and my mother said: "So what, if she marries a Gora! She would have followed her dream of studying"
For my Naani- I was the first grand daughter going abroad for studies. I was the fruit of the "Love for Education" seed she had put in over 50 years ago. She is very proud of us. As a family matriarch, she has a very big family. She takes pride in saying: 3 of my grandsons are Engineers, 5 of my grand daughters are MA with honors, All her daughter in laws are graduates, even the same for her grand daughter in law’s 3 are CA's, 2 are CFA's, 2 are business owners and so on! I can see the pride in her eyes and the simplicity in her wisdom.
I have the right tools, the right virtues and have felt very strongly about "Women Education" I come from a family of strong educated and simple women. I only wish to continue the same legacy in my daughter and our future generations. I would like to submit this entry to the Indus Indus ladies International Women’s Day Blog Contest". Though its very close to the deadline, I nominate :Priyanka,Suba,Tina

Holiday traditions... or none!

Growing up, Christmas for me, was just winter vacations with a bearded cute and chubby man in a red suit. My childhood memories for Xmas are faint. But yes, i do remember the yummy eat cake at one of our friends. But that’s basically it. During my pre-teens, i was in a Catholic school. It was then that the stories behind Xmas came to life. That’s when i was "exposed" to the mythology, the history and the traditions of Christmas and Santa. It was then that i heard Ho Ho Ho, the Christmas Carols and the music! Needless to say, i loved it! But by then, i also knew i was a bit older for asking Santa for presents. And my parents knew, they couldn’t ask me.. Naughty or nice? Christmas for the family was days off and family time. I do remember that my parents would always take us for a drive to see the Xmas trees and the decorations of hotels and churches!
In college, Christmas was with the tradition of endless Christmas parties. Where Santa and Xmas lights were the last thing on someone's mind! They were the backdrop! It was more about dressing up, socializing and enjoying the evening.
So i don’t remember, sitting at the edge of bed the whole night, looking up in the sky for "magic" or tearing through gifts early morning.
And i was completely okay with that. But i still loved the "special" air around Xmas... it was for me, Diwali all over again; loads of gift, loads of socialization and yes chocolates. This for a sweet tooth like me was enough!
After i moved to United States, Xmas was always special in its own ways. I would watch my American friends from the sidelines as they would scrounge and work through holiday madness as well. I would help out, volunteer for the gift wrappings. They were happy, since it was big chunk off their plates, and i was happy at using my "creative" skills!
So i have always enjoyed the holiday festivities.. but from the sidelines! The true personal excitement for Xmas only started for me after i had V. Last year for V's first Xmas... we got her a lovely red hat, a dress and stood in line for hours and hours to meet "Santa" who looked so real! It was my first time meeting Santa! The real thing.. not from the sidelines.. but i was in the mix of it.
This year again, V got her picture with Santa. Santa was nice to her and asked her to eat her veggies and be a good kid! She was partially confused but happy to get her Santa button and cookie to follow!
SD and I deliberated long and hard whether to put up a Xmas tree or not. For this year, we decided against it. "She is still a bit younger to be bribed in being a good girl for a better stocking stuffer". Yes that was my reason ;-) But honestly, i don’t know what to do for Xmas. I didn’t grow up with it. But when i visit other kids and her school, i see the excitement in these toddlers about Santa, the gifts, the looking out in the sky and the magic!
Next year.... may be, I will set up our own little tradition: May be a tree, lights, gifts and baking cookies and stocking stuffer. It does sound amazing.
But for this year, I am content at driving through the city on Xmas eve to see the lights, getting gifts for her school, having a gathering of people... and pretty much taking it easy. But i know, in our own special way, we will create our own Holiday Magic.
The beautiful snow, the Xmas lights of the streets and the "special" air around this time of the year will make it special!
So no matter how you celebrate your holidays...with or without tradition.... I hope you do create your own little Holiday Magic!

Happy Holidays!

Smile Factor

Not all know, but I am a member of a working mother’s blog site and i contribute on that site once in a while. This morning, I was browsing through the blogs I follow and to this site.. I scrolled down and i saw that one of the posts of mine was the Member spotlight! Cool Naah! It gave me a high and smile and most definitely made me feel good.

I don’t know what the criteria of choosing it or something is, but its like back in school, when for some reason, teacher really liked your essay and puts it up on the notice board for all the other students to read! I know me for one, would always try to be one of those.. but oh well, As you can imagine, math and science where my forte, teachers commended me on that but definitely not on my literary skills (I never had any!) But still, seeing my post as the member spotlight, made me feel like a little school girl again!

Few of the Simple things that made me smile recently:

V's mummy mummy: I go to pick her up from her day care, she sees me, drops everything she was doing, rushes to hug me.. and all the time is screaming mummy mummy. Similar thing at home, we are playing, and the door opens, per her logic- door opening = dad's come home from work.. So she once again leaves everything and runs to the door and says " Papa aaye papa Aaye" Very very cute! So that gives me a high!

A good hand of poker: Recently at a friends place, where we were playing post dinner friendly poker, i had pocket kings.. and below were a king, an ace, a pair of two's and a three...for any one who follows Poker- 3 K's and a pair of 2's makes it full house and a very good hand!! The opponents betting felt like he had an ace giving him two pairs.. i least excitedly played, kept matching and putting in a lot of chips.. but pretended like i had nothing (trust me, i would definitely put at least a B-grade actress to shame!). My friend went down bad.. he had more than 60% of his chips in the game.. and needless to say he was shocked..and we all had a good laugh! And it gave me a naughty smile for sure.

Decent party: We love to entertain and enjoy hosting gathering's for friends and family. We do it as often as possible.. and every time, if all went well. Friends bonded, liked the food, had a good time, towards the end of the party, i sit down and revel in the merriment and smile.

Emails: My girlfriends and I have a decent email chain.. sort of therapeutic.. and we all are in different continents, difference places in our lives…but we write to it almost daily.. reading that gives me a high!

Top of the charts: The thing that makes me smile all day: Waking up next to my bestest people: SD and V! Followed by looking at the family picture on my night stand with our sets of parents looking and smiling at us!

What's your "Smile Factor"?