Stage 1: Shock
Stage 2: Hurt
Stage 3: Betrayal
Stage 4: Anger
Stage 5: Moving On
Stage 6: Happiness
Stage 7: Closure
When you are in college, you go through these stages with crushes, likes and the opposite sex in general. Sometimes you skip stages, sometimes you stay and mull in one for longer. But as age progresses, you think you get calmer, more refined to navigate the above stages. You know what is happening.
But sadly, no matter what the break up is- all stages apply!
I had a recent break up. Before the rumor mills start- It was with my nanny.
Stage 1: SHOCK: 'What you are leaving me?' I didnt see any signs, why? What am I going to do, No way? There is no notice.
Stage 2: HURT I have been blind. Of all people, you? We have been together for so long, why so sudden? Ouch, what will I do?
Stage 3: BETRAYAL: I never expected this. After all I did for you and your family. I touched you when NO ONE was. I trusted you, helped settle you, your family. Loaned you money, time and drove you around. and you did this! No notice.
Stage 4: ANGER: You dumped me, no I DUMP YOU. You are not worth it. Your 'type' will stay your type. ALWAYS. No matter how considerate I have been, you did this.
Stage 5: Moving On: Hmm, What is, will be. It's fine. I still have me and my family. I put up with your SHIT for way too long. I should have let you go a long time ago. I am better off now. I am sure
Stage 6: HAPPINESS : Wow, its like a weight lifted off me. This feels awesome. Everything is perfect, I survived, got smarter and above all happier. There is more laughter and more fun and more cleanliness for sure. Why didnt I think of this before
Stage 7: CLOSURE: Oh man, I am awesome. My family is awesome. This is like a well-oiled machine and you had just slowed us down. I love the freedom and the laughter and the cleanliness. Good Bye. Thanks for nothing. Good Bye
Oh My god, I love this!
So yes, my nanny on the eve of my birthday 'dumped' me VERY unprofessionally. She didnt honor the one month notice period we had agreed on. She was not even going to tell me she is quitting. I guess being a girl, my 6th sense is super active and I asked her thrice and then she was forced to confess.
So it always has to be the perfect storm: Nanny dumps you. Husband is travelling, you are swamped with work, one of the kids is not well.
And then I realized you know what. Its all fine. Not fine-fine. But fine. And will only get better.
With my recent break-up I went through all the standard stages in 1 and a half days. Flat. And I have been happy since. Kids are laughing more, walking more, being more independent. At the same time, Sumit and I are more relaxed and laugh about those things that nanny didnt do. We did honestly put up with her for longer than we should have. No one likes change, and we didn’t either. Without this nanny, Its actually nice. And this time the real NICE NICE!
But yes, I am back in the market for a new one- I new more professional, more stable and definitely more active nanny. Suggestions??