Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Power of No....

Two alphabets... ...which kids love to string together and form: N for Nose.. and O for Oranges.. forms a "NO" a big NO... Not so surprisingly my almost 2 and a half year old tot and all her 3 to 3.5 foot friends love the word No. Ask them anything minus do You want an M&M, the knee jerk response will be No. Then they might come around to agree going to the zoo or the walk... but first gut response is No.
Then these kids grow... and then words like Hmm, I'd love to, Sure, Yes, Why not, Yup come in the vocabulary. All the time. Though you might have a super packed schedule/ work load.. as adults it gets harder and harder to say the simple word No.
It's not like we all are human pleasers or love to get a kick out of stretching ourselves really thin.. it’s just.. if it takes some addition time, some effort to ease up someone else's life or just one errand.. we turn up saying yes more often than we'd like or probably should. It goes with the concept of "no man's an island" you can't do everything by yourself; you need to ask for help and help others to sustain.
It's just when the balance of too many yes's versus no's come about.. that all hell breaks loose. At least in the mind it does. Before you know it, you are over packed, over scheduled, over worked and over everything else. Though you seem enjoy the whole process, the point of saying No is lost and you are volunteered everywhere.
Now, by no means I am like the "Yes all the time person" I am describing above. But there are a lot of times when I should have said no instead of the yes or a yes instead of the no.
How the simplicity of toddler’s reasoning does transforms to an adult’s complications?
Kids are clearer with their needs and wants. They are precise and they are polite. And because of their cute innocence you understand their no or their simple logic.
--------------> A kid's conversation
Q: Do you want to wear the red dress?
A. No, I want pink one.
--------------> An adults’ conversation
Q: Do you want to wear the red dress?
A: May be I should wear it... but hey, the pink one is good too. Should I wear that instead?
Q: Sure why not.
A: I think red's fine too.. maybe I'll do red tonight and for the next weekend party, pink..
Q: Ok
A: Or should i reverse it... I mean.. i just wore.. blah blah blah..

The adult’s conversation, decision making process, thought process it just more convoluted with more vocabulary, more choices and more factors. Kids is easier.. A yes or a no. A simple question more often than not, needs a simple answer.
Adults tend to complicate things for themselves...Life can be as simple as we make it. Think about it, the last five discussions you had.. Would a simple Yes or a No solve the issue at hand? Did the follow up comments/ points really add value to the topic in hand. Would a child's mind resolve the issue faster?

Yes, I do realize I am rambling... but I think the kid's power of saying a No or a Yes or make a decision.. simply with no strings attached.. and at face value is amazing.
May be we should learn from them

And the introspection started at how my daughter chose her jacket this morning!

Note: The energiser giveaway is still on... so comment away!


Piper .. said...

That`s an interesting observation! Kids are wired differently I guess. Or may be, we as adults, as we make our way through life, our brains tend to get cluttered by such complexities as feeling the need to please, to pander, to avert.. Kids on the other hand, pbly see things in a clearer light. Exasperating as it may be at times, it is fascinating - this journey into adulthood.
A lovely post, GNSD!

Shilpa said...

Kids make some things so simple which we adults complicate so much...
Nice post Garima!!!

GNSD said...

@ Piper... so true.. its facinating and its intriguiing... but for a lot of reasons.. i want to be kid once more.
@ Shilpa... thanks for the lovely comment. Only I wish we could employ this on a day to day basis.