Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Are you a softy or a toughie.?

Hmm, I remember my teenage, early adult hood years. I was super strong in my mind, and over all a toughie. Being a bit tom boyish, I took pride in carrying the heavy furniture around without a flinch, Yes, I did massage my sore arms in the privacy of my bubble bath. I would sit through an emotional movie and not be super sensitive about it. I would barely shed a tear, rather, I would use eat a Jalapeno and wipe away the tears calling it;- Spice Tears. But overall, I knew I was a toughie, or a may be a softy, being a toughie. Hey, single girl, foreign country, away from family. I had to be a toughie, right?
I am sure, my friends can swear by me actually enduring a bit more pain emotionally and physically, since I Do and DID believe- Tom boyish girls have more fun.
Then slowly but surely and much to my mother’s relief, I calmed down, the raging hormones, the need to defy the world, be the rebel all kinda fell into place. Mind you, I am still as opinionated as before, but just hmm a bit diplomatic/ polite about it now! (Eye Rolls welcome!)
Anyways, back to the point: After you became a mom, or settled with a significant other made you a softy?
Hmm, in my case yes! I couldn’t believe I actually screamed in a horror movie and snuck into my hubby's arm after my marriage. Whereas just a couple of years ago, I would laugh away or be the arms for my scared girl friends! After being a mom, I can’t believe how easily tears come to my eyes ( Yes still in the privacy of my room). Just recently, a colleague shared her story of her 5 year old breaking an arm in school by falling down. And just listening to her, had me misty eyed. I did comfort her, and told her things would be fine. But ran to the rest room and wiped the tears away.

Am sure, when my daughter reads this in a couple of years, she would laugh, since I am a toughie with her. I won’t easily budge by her 'I-want-this-tantrum' I actually brave it out. But, I know the minute she realizes, I am giving her extra hugs and kisses to make up for my 'toughness'.
It's finally the softy side of mine overtaking my toughness as a wife and a mother.

Has this happened to you? Or I always was a softy, just didn’t want to show it around and be vulnerable? And oh yes... what are you.. a girly girl.. or a toughie girl! Remember, under your motherhood, wifehood, working hood and ... there is still a girl!

6 comments:

wordsndreamz said...

I have no idea :) I was a tomboy too :) And I am super tough with daughter, manage things by myself and yet can be moved to tears when I see my little one on stage, or if she hurts her self :) I guess we are all a combination of softies and toughies, based on situations.

wordingmythoughts said...

I was not quite a tomboy but pretty tough on the outside. Would only let a few on the inside. Maybe being tough or showing it as such is a kind of defensive way so that no one hurts you? But marriage and motherhood does change a lot of things.

Garima said...

@ Words N Dreamz: Hehe.. I guess we are in together.. no Idea. I guess age also has a lot to do with becoming more sensitive.
@ Wording My THoughts: We are on the same page girl... same page!

GB said...

Garima, how do you know ME so well? LOL--that was me-- the girl everyone in the corridor yelled for to come chase the lizard away (not kidding--I used to run with jhhadu in hand to "rescue" my wing mates in hostel). The mellowing (a.k.a. turning into my mom, still takes me by surprise--friends who've known me all these years comment on it!) A couple of nights ago, I cried through EVERY page on a novel. Who am I?

and the kid? -well, he won't believe you if you tell him I'm a softy.

It's a split personality disorder I tell you!! ROFL!!

Rush said...

You have described my transformation to a softie! I have become so bad that I shed tears when I watch a movie!!! There are times I have been so surprised with my own reactions to certain situations. I completely agree that marriage and motherhood changes you.

Garima said...

@ GB... haha.. SPlit personality.. I hear you!

@ Rush.. it feels so good to know that I am not alone now.! Yay to transformations!