Recently I was chatting with a friend about this and that and kids and this and that and kids.
She then point blank asked me: 'Honestly, tell me why people have kids, it sounds like a lot of work!'
I paused, thought and responded: 'They want to, that’s why'
I loved the point blank honesty of the question. I don’t think my answer got any points with her!
And then as we spoke a bit more, I heard myself talk. I did have my kids because I wanted to. Sumit and I knew we wanted to be parents. For us, it may be because Sumit and I decided to start early on the 'parenting' band wagon. We really didn’t analyze too much. We both wanted kids at some point and in all honesty, earlier felt better. We grew up with V and enjoyed her childhood innocence immensely. With Little Lady again, we really didn’t want to over-analyze, is now a good time? Is next year? It felt right and we went for it.
We are blessed with V and Little Lady who are AWESOME kids! Yes they are a LOT of work, but they are a LOT of fun. An evening gets colorful with the un-ending chatter box V. A trip to the park becomes a bit more exciting as I swing along my preschooler. A trip to the mall becomes oh so cute, as I browse the infant section with the cutest onesies possible.
But behind all the smiles and giggles, there is a LOT of work, pain, tears (generally mine!), scheduling nightmare, expenses etc etc. But I had my kids for us and its an added advantage that they are a lot of fun.
She asked me again: 'Do you find them fulfilling?'
Hmm, no, I think my life is pretty fulfilling as it was prior to having V and Little Lady. I was very content with my life even prior to marriage. But with the three important part of my life now, they all make it 'fun'. There is no better way to describe it than that: Fun. Plain and Simple.
I say again, it’s a lot of work, sacrifices, adjustment. But it’s a lot about your own perspective.
Things are no longer, pack your bags and let's make a trip. It's make a list, pack your stuff, re pack, carry all types of first aid things, then pack some more. And then may be make a trip.
Things are no longer, lets catch a movie tonight. They are more like: Schedule a sitter, bribe a friend to baby sit, then find the right movie time after the kids sleep time, run for the movie, come home and sleep if you didnt manage to sleep in the movie since it was too loud.
Work is no longer the continuous hours until it’s done. Its work, come home, do evening chores, and then may be with a big cup of joe, work some more to finish off the work.
EVERYTHING takes twice as long as before!
BUT and a VERY IMPORTANT BUT
I love being a mom, I love the fun and smiles it adds to my life. For me, its de-stressing. You really cannot be angry/tired all the time with kids around. They observe. I really have learned to compartmentalize work and home much better.
Plus when it gets really tiring, there are date nights, movie nights, girls nights, holidays and vacations. And when it gets really long hours, there are extended visits to grandparents!
Sorry babes, I could not answer your question: I don’t know why people have kids! I know why we had ours- They are FUN! What about you, why would you/ did you have kids?
But in spirit of full disclosure. I love the post 7:30 pm bliss, when the kids are sleeping and I am relaxing- just my kind of fun!